


Love Across Timelines

by bow_ties_R_cool



Series: Love across timelines [1]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Been at this for a while, F/F, F/M, Gen, M/M, Multi, Other, TW: CPTSD, TW: Homophobia, TW: Racism, TW: cursing, anyways reader is a bit apathetic, but its for good reason, can't hate wanting that kind of life, i'm so proud of how far i've come since i posted the first series, like i didn't think this series would gain this much love but i'm happy everyone loves it!, like you can't blame them for not caring when everyone else ignored their warnings, they just wanna relax with klaus, tw: abuse, tw: death
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-18
Updated: 2020-11-22
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:08:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 23
Words: 51,391
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27080968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bow_ties_R_cool/pseuds/bow_ties_R_cool
Summary: Sequel to "Are you sure I'm not high?"Landing in 1960, The reader is faced with a myriad of situations. Luckily they aren't facing them alone.
Relationships: Klaus Hargreeves & Reader, Klaus Hargreeves x Reader
Series: Love across timelines [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1976446
Comments: 13
Kudos: 72





	1. We need to stop meeting like this

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Landing in 1960, you're faced with a myriad of situations. Luckily you aren't facing them alone.

**Right back where we started pt 1**  
**We need to stop meeting like this**

  
"AaaaaaAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" You were falling, again. Just like all those months ago. Only this time it wasn't on top of your boyfriend. This time, you were alone and when the hard cement came into contact with your back, you grunted in pain. "Oh, Christ, where's Klaus when you need him?" you moaned. You let yourself lay back, motionless for a moment, just thinking back to what had lead up this moment.   
  
Being hauled in the air, having the life sucked out of you, that...frankly badass moment with your shield. You close your eyes and bask in the moment of being awesome. _'I don't care what Five says, I was amazing, and I'll never forget it.'_  
  
After basking in the afterglow, you move to sit up, and the sound of another portal opening gives you pause. Looking up, you see the same portal you fell out of spit out 2 individuals. Your eyes widen and you quickly try and scramble out of the way, but it's too late and you close your eyes and feel the impact of a body land on you. All lanky, and gangly, and...is that leather? You moan in pain and feel the body turn around on top of you. _'Now I know how everyone else feels when I land on them. God, this is heinous!'  
_  
"Hello stranger."  
  
Your eyes pop open and you see a sea of mint green. A wide grin forms its way on your face and you giggle in shock. "Hello." Klaus. Of all the people you never expected to meet him right off the bat, and certainly not like this.  
  
"We need to stop meeting like this." You let out a loud laugh at his words and look up at the portal as it closes. "That was exhilarating!" Ben cries out and you both look over at him looking at you with wide eyes. "Can we do it again?"  
  
"NO!" Ben shrinks down at both of your exclamations.  
  
You tap Klaus on his shoulder. "Okay, much as I love having you on me, get off."  
  
"Hmm, not sure if I want to, I quite like this position." You raise an eyebrow at him as he grins down at you and shifts a bit to get more comfortable.  
  
"Move, or no sex until 1963." Like a bullet he shoots off of you and helps pull you up off the floor. You brush any dust off of you and look around. "Where are we? This isn't Dallas, is it?" Klaus asks you and you step out into the main area of the road, Klaus and Ben in tow.   
  
"I think it is." you reply. "I mean, where else would we be? The sequence of events seems to keep on like normal despite everything I've done so far."  
  
"Excuse me!" Klaus runs up to random guy walking across the street. "Could you tell me what year this is...or what day?" He just gives Klaus a weird look and walks away faster. "Rude."   
  
You clap a hand on his shoulder. "Welcome to my world." You sympathize with him, you do, but this was your hell when you first dropped in this universe. Klaus gives you a weird look. "You're being awfully calm about all of this."  
  
"Oh, I'm not calm. I just don't care anymore." And it's true. After 8 days of nobody listening to you, ignoring your warnings, and basically throwing the blame onto your shoulders, you were done. When Five inevitably drags you all together again, they were on their own.   
  
They figured out how to stop the end of the world last time, they can do it again. This time without your help.  
  
"How can you not care?"  
  
"Easy." You reply. "Like this. This is me, not caring anymore." You circle your face and give him a sarcastic smile. Sighing at Klaus' bewildered expression, you grab his shoulder and force him to look at you. "Klaus, the last time I tried to get them to listen to me, the moon blew up. No matter what I say or do, two things are bound to happen. One: The universe adapts to whatever I change and the end result stays the same, or Two: Your brain dead siblings refuse to listen to my advice and the end result stays the same. So, I'm done trying." You smile softly. "I've got 3 years before the world goes to shit, and I want to enjoy them as much as I can. Preferably with you...and Ben. Speaking of, where'd he run off to?"  
  
"Guys, come look at this!" Ben's urgent voice leads you over to the trashcan he was pointing at. "Ben, seriously? I'm not looking for another partner when the one i've got is right here!" Klaus exclaims and Ben rolls his eyes at his childishness.   
  
"No, you idiot. Look at the date."  
  
"February 11th, 1960. Yeah, what about it?" You rub the back of your neck in embarrassment. So, you maybe forgot to tell Ben where you were going...oops? Ben gives you a deadpan look.  
"Seriously? You tell him, and not me?" You roll your eyes and start walking down the street, Klaus and Ben on either side. "Okay, I'm sorry I didn't say anything to you, but in my defense, you weren't there and I assumed I would be alone."  
  
"Well, we're together. For whatever time we've got left before Five shows up. What do you want to do first?" Klaus' stomach answers his own question as it lets out a huge growl. Smiling you give his cheek a pat before grabbing his hand and pulling him along.  
  
"Let's get some food first. We'll figure out a game plan from there, okay?"  
  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

  
**3 Years later**

  
"Why are we here, again?" Ben asked for the 5th time in the last hour. You and he were standing alone in a field off to the side by a bunch of cars and a...you think it's a bus? It must have been at one point.   
  
Your hair is longer, thrown in a messy pony tail with a flowing flower print skirt and a simple white tunic. And Klaus? Well he fully embraced the hippy lifestyle. Long, wavy, Hair. A long ass beard (that you were definitely making him shave off first chance you got. Kissing him becomes less fun when your pulling hair out of your mouth) and the outfit you remember he wore during the promos for season 2.  
  
"Klaus has a game plan for getting us away from this cult of ours."  
  
"A cult you let happen." Shrugging you look around for a car with the drivers side door unlocked and the keys in the ignition. "It would have happened no matter what I said or did."  
  
Ben's giving you side glares through the passenger side windows of the cars as you look through them. Huffing, you stand up and give Ben a hard look. "What."  
  
"You're still on the whole 'not trying anymore' thing?"  
  
"Yep." Trying the door to the car you were leaning on it opens in one go. "A-ha! Bingo!" You open the door and sigh in frustration when the keys to the ignition are gone. "Oh, well." You mutter. "Just gonna have to hotwire it." Over the last three years, Klaus had taught you things that only one well versed with living on the streets would know. Hotwiring a car being one of them. In return, you helped him make Ben more corporeal on his end, and also keep away from the drugs and Alcohol.   
  
For you, being able to touch and feel Ben as if he was a living person was almost as natural as breathing. Neither of you never really understood the hows or whys, and frankly you didn't really care, it wasn't hurting anyone and Ben was a lot less touch starved as a result. (Klaus had a running theory that you were dead at one point when you went through the first portal that brought you here, and that's why you can see spirits and touch Ben like he was human.)  
  
You finally get the two wires crossed correctly and the engine starts up. Leaning back your greeted by the sight of Ben sitting in the passenger seat giving you a hard look. "Jesus!" You cry out. "Can you stop doing that?" You hit his shoulder in frustration and the hard look is replaced with a smirk.  
  
"Not a chance in hell."  
  
You roll your eyes and go to reply when you see everyone in the circle place their hands up in front of their faces, a mimicry of Klaus' "Hello and Goodbye" tattoos on their palms facing forward up into the sky. "Is that...?" You get out of the car to make sure.   
  
"Let us commune with music!" And a single high pitched whistle followed by several others, crescendoeing into a single loud annoying tone.  
  
"I think my ears are bleeding." Ben quips and you choke on a laugh. You can see Klaus army crawl through the sea of cultists and quickly move over to the passenger side, leaving the drivers side door open for him.   
  
"Let's go, let's go!" Klaus is quick to slide into the drivers seat and you don't even have the time to so much as slap on your seatbelt before the car peels away from your insane cult.  
  
Once out on the highway you cheer "Oh, sweet freedom!" and quickly plant a kiss on Klaus' cheek. 3 years together had not dampened your relationship, in fact it only strengthened it. "Where are we off to?" You ask.  
  
"Back to Dallas." Your smile slowly fades and you let out a confused chuckle. "What?"  
  
"Please, Schätzchen, just...I know going back to Dallas means we'll just be wrapped up in more doomsday bullshit. But I can't just let Dave enlist without knowing I did everything in my power to try and stop it." Klaus had explained to you the circumstances behind Dave's enlistment, which basically amounted to "Parents knew he was gay, and punted him to the army to die in Vietnam." It was a shit deal, but then again, so was being LGBTQ+ in the 60's. Hell, you being who you were was an absolute nightmare.   
  
Because you could pass as either male or female, to make life a little bit easier for you and Klaus you had opted to dress as a woman in public, that way neither of you would get weird looks. You didn't really care one way or the other, you were happy no matter how you looked, but you didn't want Klaus to be mocked for having a queer relationship. He might not care about that, but you had too much respect for him to let those slurs fly.  
  
Your gaze was full of worry and you turned in your seat to stare at him fully. "Klaus, if you do this...and you're successful? You'd be rewriting your own history. Creating a paradox. Now I've watched enough Doctor Who to know that paradox's are never good, much less rewriting your own history. And, there's no guarantee that it'll even work." You grab his hand and give a kiss to the knuckles. "I don't want to see your spirits crushed like that." Again.  
  
Looking over at you, Klaus sends you a small smile. He understands that this might not work, but it's the only chance he has. "It's a risk I'm willing to take."  
  
Giving his hand a quick pat, you turn back around and look out the windshield. Biting your thumbnail, you give a nervous chuckle. "Dallas, here we come."  
  
"FINALLY!" You and Klaus let out a scream of shock at Ben's exclamation. "I thought you'd never stop being mushy! God, you two are so sweet to each other it makes my teeth ache, and I'm DEAD."  
  
"JESUS CHRIST BEN!"  
"CHRIST ON A CRACKER!"  
  
The car swerves a little before righting itself and you all continue on down the highway. Hopefully you picked the one without the engine trouble.


	2. Bonnie and Clyde WISH they were us!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The sibling relationship is a lot less toxic than what you remember, You’ve gotten better at stealing, and you’re given a harsh reminder that being away from your beloved has dangerous consequences

**Right back where we started pt 2**   
**Bonnie and Clyde WISH they were us**

  
Turns out, you did in fact pick the car with engine trouble. You were maybe...30 miles or so outside the Dallas limits when you started seeing smoke come from the hood and the car crawl to a stop. You let your head thunk onto the dashboard with a groan.   
  
"Now what?" Klaus groans.  
  
"I...might have grabbed the car with a faulty engine." You mumble. You hear the door open and the hood pop open. Getting out of the car, you see Klaus bent over the hood, Ben beside him. "Do you know how to fix a car?" You ask.  
  
"Spent a week in a carpark once, guy running the place let me stay in the back room if I worked a couple service jobs." Klaus replied. "I picked up a few...things, along the way." You knew he meant possessions, money, people etc., but it was nice that he was trying to be subtle about it.  
  
"Okay!" Klaus slams the hood down and turns to face you and Ben. "Engine overheated."  
  
"Way to go, Mysterio." Ben's sarcastic comment on any other occasion would have given you cause for alarm, but in the three years you've all been together, you noticed something different about Klaus and Ben's relationship.  
  
It hasn't deteriorated. Like, at all. Yeah, the two of them still had their spats, what brothers don't, but it wasn't nearly as toxic as what you remembered from the show. Maybe giving Ben all those hugs helped after all.  
  
"Shut up, ghost bitch." Klaus rolls his eyes and the three of you start walking.  
  
After a while you let out a "Huh." in surprise. Klaus and Ben look over at you. "What?" Klaus asks.  
  
"Well, it just hit me. Your sibling relationship with Ben is way healthier than what my universe depicted it as. I mean," You point behind you where you think the car was, "In my show, you two were at each others throats almost constantly."  
  
Klaus and Ben glance at each other and let out a "Really?"  
  
You nod. "Oh, yeah. It was extremely toxic. Always fighting, always spitting insults, at one point you got into a fight by the car. Freaked out some poor passing driver."  
  
Ben leans over and sniffs Klaus. "Why would I want to do that? He stinks."  
  
"Hey, yeah, no. Back off, alright? It's Texas, and it's humid as fuck. What do you expect?" Klaus pushes him away and you lean over and take a quick whiff. Okay, yeah. Bad idea. It was the worst case of body odor you ever smelled in your life. You gag a little.   
  
"Okay, first chance we get we're getting you a shower and a shave." You wave the offending stench away with your hand.  
  
Klaus takes on a faux offended expression "What, you don't like my beard?"   
  
"Not when I'm picking hairs out of my mouth every time we kiss."  
  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
When you finally come across the bar, you could almost kiss the pavement in gratitude. "Oh thank god." You mutter.  
  
"Finally!" Klaus exclaims. The three of you enter the bar, Klaus making sure to hold the door open for you. You can hear a "Ow!" come from Ben and look back to see the door smack him in the face.   
  
"Oh, shit!" You run back and open the door back up so Ben could come in. It garnered a few weird looks, but you didn't pay them much attention.  
  
"You okay?" You ask.   
  
"Nothing hurt but my pride. And maybe my nose." Ben replies, rubbing his nose with his hand.  
  
"Hey." Klaus saunters his way up to the two of you, a grin on his face. "Next bus to Dallas is at 3 sharp tomorrow, according to Mr. Bartender over there."   
  
"Hey pretty boys." A deep southern voice from over at the poker table draws your attention and you both point at yourselves. "You mean us?" Klaus wonders. You look down at your outfit. You thought your skirt was feminine enough to pass as a girl but this look was popular for a lot of men in the 60's.   
  
"Yeah, you two. You both wanna play a little poker, while you wait?"  
  
"You know what? We would be delighted!" And with that Klaus grabs your hand and half drags you over to the poker table with him.   
  
The old, southern dude (Who's name you later find out is Buck) points to Klaus. "Him first. Tables full up." You gladly push Klaus into the seat and let the dealer play him in.  
  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Six hands, and almost 200 bucks later, You and Ben are standing off to the side while the others play. You're eyes could burn a hole in the backs of Bucks head, who'd been staring at Klaus for the last 10 minutes straight.  
  
"If you keep undressing me with your eyes, I'm gonna catch cold." Oh, good. Klaus noticed too.  
  
"Watch your mouth." He snaps. "Stupid's falling out." Klaus lets out a little giggle at that. "What's so funny?"   
  
"No, No, just thought of a little ditty I'm working on." You quickly shake your head to try and get him to stop talking. Beside you Ben is nodding to try and spur him on and you subtly smack the back of his head.  
  
"There once was a young buck from Dallas..." Goddammit Klaus. You loved him to hell and back but damn he didn't have a braincell some days. "...Who sported a miniature phallus..." Really? Tiny dick jokes? You taught Klaus better humor than that. Hell you introduced him to John Mullaney's stand up shows, for crying out loud!  
  
"Tell you what. If your so cocky...what say we up the stakes?" Buck offers.  
  
"All my moneys already in the pot." Klaus point out. Yeah, all $135, give or take. Which you were definitely getting back one way or another.  
  
"Throw in that sissy ass gold necklace then. Clyde here can melt it down. Make me a belt buckle."  
  
Ben smirks. "Watch this." He whispers to you. "That would be one hell of a belt buckle." Klaus looks over at him. "He's bluffing by the way. He's got nothing." You look over at his cards...the hell? The guy has a full house!  
  
"Ben what are you-" Ben slaps his hand over your mouth and you look down in shock, well that's just plain rude!   
  
Klaus nods once and holds the necklace over the table. "Okay, I'll throw in the sissy necklace...for the keys to your pickup. Unless you're bluffing." Buck quickly tosses his keys onto the table with the necklace and you quickly extend your shield so that it was covering him. You knew this bit, no way was he taking a hit on your watch.   
  
"Let's see it."  
  
The dealer puts down the cards and you throw your head back in exasperation. Beside you, Ben's smirk turns into a full blown grin. Buck chuckles in victory and you can see the smile fall from Klaus' face as if he was hit in the groin really, really, slowly.  
  
"Full house. Kings over sevens." He taunts.  
  
"Oh, well that! That's not nothing!" Klaus is smiling, but his fists are clenched and the look in his eyes screams posthumous fratricide. "Fair is fair, you win." He quickly stands up and pockets the keys. "And I gotta be on my way."  
  
"You got sticky fingers." You sneak around and start pocketing as much money as you could while everyone was distracted.   
  
"And crazy IBS I mean it's a miracle I'm sitting down-" His sentence is cut off by loud smack followed by shattering glass and you look over to see Klaus bent over the table. You wince. Oops. You must have gotten distracted and let your focus slip. Klaus looks over at you and you mouth a "Sorry!" at him.  
  
"Give me my damn keys!"  
  
"Alright," Klaus murmurs, slamming his hands on the table. "Showtime, Ben." You see Ben stare at him while Klaus has his hands outstretched and everyone is staring in wonder in fear. 

"What in the hell?" Buck exclaims.  
  
"Nah, I'm good." Ben waves off and Klaus' expression falls and screams _'The hell, man?'_  
  
"Consider it payback for not letting me talk to Jill. And also for letting the door smack me in the face every time we enter a room together."  
  
"Really?" Klaus exclaims. "You think you could pick a better time to be petty?!" As he runs off you quickly grab the rest of the money sitting on the table before making a mad dash out the exit before anybody notices.  
  
You bust through the doors and rush towards Klaus and Ben. "Oh I bet your loving this!" He snaps at Ben. "Well, I'm not hating it." Ben replies and you push past them both to make your way to the pickup truck in the middle of the room. "Get in, quick!" and you slide into the passenger seat while Klaus runs to the drivers side and gets in. "Are you sure?" He asks.  
  
"Give me back my truck, asshole!" Buck exclaims and you turn your head. "That answer your question?" You throw back at him.  
  
"Oh, hell yeah!" and Klaus puts the keys in and throws it into drive. You see Buck try and get his arm into the window but you quickly lean over and bite his arm until he lets go. Was it incredibly unnecessary? Probably. Petty as all hell? For sure. Worth it?  
  
Definitely.  
  
Klaus laughs in manic glee and pulls away from the bar, while you lean back and plop your head in his lap in exhaustion. "Hey." You smile at him. "Yeah?" Klaus glances down and his eyes widen at the money you were waving at him.   
  
"You little thief!" Klaus laughs in shock, "I taught you well. How much?"  
  
"All of ours plus whatever they had. If we can manage to avoid the cops, we can grab a motel and celebrate."   
  
"I am liking the sound of that!" You push yourself up and give him a quick peck before laying back down and closing your eyes. Klaus pushes a few strands that fell out of your ponytail out of your face.  
  
"Go ahead and get some sleep, we should be in Dallas in a few hours. Because when we get to a motel...oh, baby. Sleep will the last thing on your mind."  
  
"Mm." You murmur. "Promises, promises."  
  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
It could have been maybe a few hours later when the sound of police sirens stirred you awake. "What's going on?" You mumble sleepily.  
  
"What's going on, is Klaus got pulled over and is currently being arrested." Bens voice is coming from the seat next to you and you quickly sit up and look over. Sure enough you can see him being pushed into a police cruiser and seeing the car drive away.  
  
"Why didn't they arrest me?" you wonder. "Are you complaining?" Ben asks and you quickly shake your head.  
  
"No, I just...I stole that money, they should have taken me in as well...Maybe I'm passing as a chick more than I thought." You pat yourself down and find the wad you had stuffed under the seat.   
  
Damn skirts had no pockets. Seems no matter where you went pockets were a men only thing.  
  
"Oh, thank god. The moneys still here! Now, what do we do next?"  
  
"Well, maybe - and this is just a broad suggestion," Ben states as you crawl into the drivers seat "- you could get to a motel for some actual sleep? This late, No police station is going to allow visitors and I doubt you could post bail."  
  
Letting your head rest against the steering wheel, you heave a sigh and look to see the keys still in the ignition. You turn the truck on and quickly drive off towards the nearest motel.  
  
After a few minutes of driving, you look over and scream at the sight next to you. Instead of Ben, there's a cowboy with a large bullet hole in his skull, blood leaking out and bits of brain matter peeking through. The cowboy looks over and a quiet "Help...me..." comes from bloodstained lips.  
  
[Y/N]  
  
You can't stop looking, you aren't even aware you threw the truck into park. It's like looking at a car crash in action. Horrifying but you cant bring yourself to look away.  
  
[Y/N]  
  
He keeps begging for help, his hands reaching towards you and you quickly back against the door, turn your head and close your eyes in fear.  
  
"[Y/N]! Snap out of it!"  
  
You snap open your eyes and the Cowboy is gone, and Ben takes his place. His hand on your shoulder, and a concerned look in his eyes. You lurch over and grab hold of Ben, burying your head in his shoulder. He doesn't hesitate to wrap his arms around you.  
  
"What the hell happened?" Ben asks, and you're too shaken to give a proper answer, all you can do is hang on for dear life.  
  
You didn't realize what being away from Klaus would do to you.  
  
When the necromancers away, the ghosts will play.  
  
And you're their new toy.


	3. Friends in high places

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We’ve had a bit of a rough night, but running into an old family friend makes the experience all the more bearable.

**The Frankel Footage Pt 1**   
**Friends in high places**

  
You never really understood what Klaus' nightmares were like before meeting you until now. Because one night alone was enough to make you want to rip your hair out in fear. Every time you closed your eyes, more southern spirits came out at you, screaming and pleading for help. Ben wasn't able to do anything to stop it, only sit with you and try and keep you from grabbing the nearest bottle of gin and chugging it. It was a miracle you were able to maintain enough coherency to keep Ben tangible, but you didn't know how much longer you could take it.   
  
Your sanity only ran so far.  
  
After waking up from another nightmare, you stumble out of the motel drowsily and nearly faceplant into the door of the pickup. You squint at the sun peeking over the horizon and climb into the drivers seat. You stare at the keys for a few moments and blink against the tiredness.  
  
"Are you sure you're okay to drive? You look half drunk." Ben notes and you quickly shake your head to clear whatever cobwebs were currently infesting it.  
  
"I...I...yeah no you're right. I am not fit to driiiiiii..." You look at Ben and stare at the black man with a rope around his neck sitting beside him. "Are you..."  
  
"Seeing the lynch victim too? Yeah." Ben replies and the man opens his mouth to let out an inhuman scream. You can see he has no tongue and quickly scramble out of the truck. When you turn back around, the man is gone.  
  
"What the hell is happening to me?" You hold a hand to your head and slowly make your way down the road towards the police station.  
"I think...you're dealing with more of Klaus' powers than you initially thought." Ben theorizes. "I mean, you can see and touch me, and I'm dead, but Klaus has been doing that for years, since he was 17. The touching thing is a bit weird, but hey, I'm not complaining."   
  
"Ben." You snap him out of whatever tangent he was going off on. "Your point?"  
  
"Sorry. My point is, maybe you're seeing the ghosts he struggled to keep away. That whenever you two are apart, his powers seep into you and you experience the negative effects of his fears. You are literally reliving every one of his worst nightmares!"  
  
"Oh, lovely." You moan. "Even more of a reason to get to the police station. Excuse me!" You run up to a passing jogger and he gives you a strange look. "I'm looking for the Police station, could you point me in the right direction?"  
  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Stumbling into the Police station, you make sure to hold the door open for Ben. Your skirt is ripped in several places, your hair has fallen out of its ponytail, and you have dark circles beginning to form under your eyes. The occupants of the station are giving you weird looks, but frankly you can't be bothered to care right now. Your only goal is sitting right in front of you in an officers uniform, sharpening a pencil. You place your hands on the counter and try and give your best smile...which honestly looks more like a grimace but you can't be bothered to care right now.  
  
"Excuse me. I'm looking for a man who may have been brought in last night. Tall, lanky, Long ass beard with tattoos on his hands, dressed in white?"  
  
The officer doesn't look at you, just keeps sharpening his pencil. "Is he your husband or brother?  
  
You turn to give Ben a look of bewilderment, but then you remember that this is the 60's, and gender equality was merely a laughable notion.  
  
"I'm his wife." You didn't care about the gender terminology, you just wanted Klaus out of jail. You give the man a hard look and he FINALLY looks away from that damn pencil to give you a once over. "Yep. We brought him last night. He's in processing." Oh, thank god! You smile in relief.  
  
"Can I go and see him? Or post his bail, maybe?" You ask hopefully but your smile falls as he begins to laugh. "Not unless you have $1,500. And visitors aren't granted to those in processing."  
  
"What?!"   
  
"Why don't you doll yourself up, and try again later, sweetheart." You raise your fist to punch him but Ben's hand is about the only thing holding you back right now. With a sigh, you grunt out a "Fine." And make your way over to the payphone sitting in the back.  
  
"Now what are we doing?" Ben asks. "I don't have the time to waste on Officer Douchenozzle over there letting me go and see Klaus. I need to pull a few strings. It's only the Governor. Klaus won't mind." Yeah, that's what you hope anyway.  
  
"And how are you going to do that with no money?" Ben points out. "We spent it all on that motel room last night, remember?" Wait, what?  
  
You quickly pat yourself down, hoping to find some spare change tucked away somewhere, but your search is fruitless. You bang your fist down on the payphone in frustration. "Fuck." You whisper.  
"Need some change? I'm sorry, I couldn't help overhearing and I...[Y/N]? Is that you?"  
  
You look over at the voice and your eyes widen at the woman standing next to you. "Allison? Holy shit!"  
  
The two of you quickly embrace and you cling to her like a drowning man clings to driftwood. You might have had Klaus and Ben for the last 3 years, but you won't lie and say you didn't miss everyone else. Including Luther.  
  
But the day you actually say you missed the giant oaf to his face will be a cold day in hell.  
  
"I can't believe it! You look amazing! The '60s have clearly done you good!" You compliment. And they have. Compared to anyone else, Allison looks like she actually set down roots and started a new life. She's dressed in a gorgeous orange flower print dress with her hair straightened and all black. Allison looks like she belongs.  
  
"I...wish I could say the same. What happened to you? You look like you've been hit by a hurricane!" She pulls a leaf out of your hair for emphasis. "Its a...long story. Me and Ben-"  
  
"Bens here? He made it with you?" Allison's eyes are hopeful and you look over at Ben smiling at his sister. "Hi Allison."  
  
"Ben says hi." And the two of you laugh at the absurdity of it all.  
  
"Anyways, what are you doing here?" And the laughter suddenly dies as you sigh in frustration. "Klaus got arrested. And I can't pay his bail so I'm trying to pull a few strings with the Governor to get him pardoned."  
  
"Somehow it doesn't surprise me that the two of you landed here together. Or that he got arrested."  
  
"What about you though?" You question. You knew of course, that her husband had been arrested on bullshit charges because Allison had defended herself in front of a white man. But she doesn't need to know that.  
  
"I figured you had already known. Wasn't this part of your show?" Fuck, she's smarter than you gave her credit for.  
  
"I... _yeah_...but Five isn't here so I don't know when the show technically kicks off." It wasn't a lie so much as a half truth. One that you were sticking to until the feral bastard actually shows up.  
Looking at the clock your eyes widen at the time. "Shit, I gotta make that call, can I still have that dime?" Allison hands over the coin and you enter the numbers that will get Klaus free.  
  
"Hello, operator? Could you please connect me to the Governors office? It's in regards to a certain... _prophet_."  
  



	4. Home, not-so-sweet Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> getting Klaus out of jail while running on fumes is not the best way to spend your day. Luckily Allison and Ben are here to help keep you (mostly) sane.

**The Frankel Footage p2  
**   
**Home not-so-sweet Home**

You don't know how long you had spent sitting in an uncomfortable chair in front of a bunch of police officers, trying hard not to doze off. Ben had been doing his best to keep you awake, but you were beginning to fight a losing battle. Since setting foot in the station, you had gotten a grand total of maybe 3 hours of sleep within the last 24 hours, and the effects were really beginning to show. Allison had been keeping you company, but with her mind on her husband, conversation was scarce.   
  
Allison jaw had been slowly growing more and more hard as the hours passed and eventually she had gotten sick of not having any information. She stood up abruptly, and you lolled your head over to the counter with Officer Douchenozzle.  
  
"Excuse me." She demanded. The idiot in question didn't even bother to look over at her.  
  
"Yep."   
  
"I've been waiting over two hours. I would like to know what's happened to my husband."  
  
"Name?" Allison lets out a harsh sigh. "Chestnut. Raymond Chestnut."  
  
"He's here. In processing." How this guy got a gig in law enforcement you have no idea.  
  
"I would like to see him."  
  
"You his lawyer?" She looks over at you like _'Can you believe what I'm going through right now?'_. You merely shrug your shoulders and close your eyes. They fling themselves back open when Ben smacks your cheek a little with his hand. "Come on, you know you can't sleep until Klaus gets out. Not unless you want a nightmare that lands you in the local asylum."  
  
"I know, but I'm so tired..." You can see Allison storm her way back over to you and sit down angrily. "Honor and dignity?" you sigh.  
  
"Honor and dignity." She looks over at you and really notices how tired you look. "Seriously, are you alright? You look like you haven't slept in hours." She places a gentle hand on your shoulder, and you smile a bit.  
  
"That's because I haven't. I um...discovered something new about myself in the 24 hours since Klaus got arrested. Apparently, when we're apart...I'm living through his childhood bullshit. The..." You swallow a bit, "...screaming ghosts, the nightmares, I'm having a newfound understanding on why he was always drunk or high before he met me." You glance around as if another ghost would pop out in front of you. It's a police station in the 60's. You wouldn't be surprised. Allison's jaw drops and a concerned, motherly look takes over her face.  
  
"Oh, my god. I am so sorry. I - I remember how bad those nightmares got for him when we were kids, I wouldn't wish that on anyone." She rubs your shoulder in comfort, and you lean your head on her shoulder. You can see Ben smile in happiness at the two of you getting along. What can you say? You had a deep love and appreciation for the movie star turned civil rights activist.  
Before you can say anything else, an annoyingly familiar voice comes from your left. "What, so it's illegal to hand out flyers now?" You and Ben share a wide eyed look and you quickly turn your head and hide it in Allison's shoulder. "What-"  
  
"Shh!" you hiss. "Just roll with it!"  
  
"It's illegal to hand out flyers?" He demands again and Allison sees a balding man in glasses be dragged to the holding cells by an officer. "Without a permit it is, and you know this Keechie."  
  
"I'm so sorry I didn't realize we were living under communist rule!" By some miracle he hadn't noticed you and you and Ben breathe a sigh of relief once he's gone. You look over and Allison has her eyebrow raised in question. "What was that about?" she asks.  
  
"Just some weirdo with an obsession towards Klaus and me...more Klaus than me, but that doesn't mean he won't fawn over me just as much. I thought we were rid of them, but..."  
"He's an ass with no sense of personal boundaries." Ben hisses. "Ben doesn't like him." you add.  
  
"I can see why. He...sounds like a real character." That's...one word for it you suppose.  
  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Allison chatting with you had certainly kept you going for another 20 minutes. Which was great because by the time an officer had come to collect you, you were ready to drop.  
  


"Excuse me, miss?" You looked over at the officer trying to get your attention. "We received a call from the governors office a few minutes ago. Your husband is free to go. If you'll just follow me...  
"Oh! Okay." You move to stand up and look over at Allison. She had this look in her eyes that screamed she was scared if you left she would never see you again. "Hey, If you want to see us later, meet us at the old mansion on the outskirts of town tomorrow. Me and Klaus will be there, we can catch up more then, alright?"  
  
Allison nods and you lean down to give her one last hug, ignoring the dirty look from the Officer next to you.  
  
"I'll find you!" She calls out. "I'm sure you will!" You reply.  
  
The officer led you to an outer area where inmates were released and told you to take a seat, and that he'll be with you shortly. It wasn't said as...kindly once he realized you weren't a racist bigot, and more or less pushed you into the chair behind you.  
  
"1963, or 2020, cops are pigs no matter where I go." You grumble.  
  
"Could be worse." Ben quips from beside you. "Could be with Keechie." You both shudder at the notion and you suddenly realize how glad you were that they didn't think you were a man.  
  
"Ow! OW! Okay officer, not so hard, I bruise like a peach!" Looking over you see Klaus being pulled along and your eyes light up. It's like all the stress you had experienced over the last 24 hours melted away once he was within eyeshot. "Klaus." You breathe out.  
  
Klaus looks over and his smile is lazy but genuinely happy. "Fraulein! Oh, I didn't think I'd see you here!" The officer shoves him in your direction and walks off.  
  
"You think i'd leave you here to fend for yourself? How dumb do you think I am?"  
  
"They couldn't sleep without you. Literally. You know those nightmares you had when you were a kid?" Klaus looks over at Ben and nods. "They've got them." His jaw drops and the boots he had been holding fall to the floor. "What?"  
  
"I..." You falter under his gaze and look away. "Can we talk about this later, after I get some sleep? It's been so long... and I'm so tired...And I missed you." Klaus shakes his head and slips his boots on before giving you a kiss on your forehead.  
  
"Yeah, Yeah. Come on, let's go. If we're lucky we can make it home before it gets too dark." Klaus wraps and arm around your waist and tucks you in his side. You sigh happily and allow him to lead you out of the station, finally at peace for the first time in hours.  
  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
It's late when the two of you make it to the outskirts of the city where the massive mansion you had been staying at sits. You try the door and sigh when you find it locked. Klaus nudges you out of the way and chucks a rock at the window. It shatters and you unlock the door from the inside. You're so tired you don't even care that the key was under the mat the whole time.   
  
You both stumble into the sitting room, covered in white sheets and Klaus takes one off the mantle to cover yourselves in.  
  
"The key was under the mat." Ben points out. "But you both knew that already."  
  
"Ben...shhhhhh." You shush. "Yeah, buddy. No talky, no talky, no talky." Klaus sighs and wraps you up with him and the two of you collapse on the couch. "Just...sleepy time now."  
  
Klaus' back is facing your but he quickly turns to face you once he sees the portrait on the mantle. Looking up you cringe at the sight. It's the same picture you remember, but instead of it just being Klaus like in the show, you're standing behind him in the portrait, eyes closed, a crescent moon on your forehead and a galaxy behind your head. Your hands are cradling Klaus' face and the portrait you has a look of peace on their face.  
  
It...frankly it looks like a mockery of everything you stood for and it explains why Klaus hasn't called you "universe hopper" or "Moon and stars" In quite a while. It only stood to remind you both of this crap cult.  
  
"You guys DO know there's a bed like...2 rooms down, right?" Both of your eyes snap open and you both scramble to your feet and run to the closest bedroom you can find.   
  
Although neither of you might be getting much sleep tonight now that you actually have a bed.


	5. Reminiscing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s the morning after and you begin reminiscing on what landed you both here in the first place while Klaus tries-and fails-to shave without a mirror.

**The swedish job pt 1**   
**Reminiscing**

  
Waking up to the morning sun was a much better experience in a bed, you've determined. After getting a proper nights sleep, the first in ages, and spending some time "Reuniting" with Klaus, you awaken tangled in sheets and alone. You'd be more worried if you didn't hear Klaus in the next room taking a bath and singing an off-key version of "Happy Together".  
  
Stretching out, you close your eyes and think back to how this whole mess started in the first place...

  
**3 years ago...**

  
If you had to pick a restaurant, Stadtlers would not have been your first choice. Or your second. Something about the place just rubbed you the wrong way. Maybe it was the too peppy atmosphere, maybe it was the weird looks you were getting from the patrons or... oh, yeah.  
  
The big ass "Whites only" sign more than likely was the culprit.  
  
"So, you're seriously telling me that we're the first?" Klaus had ordered almost half the whole menu, and if you weren't certain you had the money to cover it you'd have been more concerned.   
  
Nodding, you slip another fry into your mouth. "Mmhm. Allison is next. And I'm worried about her the most. I mean, 1961 and black? Not a good combination. After that she's followed by Luther, then Diego, then Vanya, and Five is last. But his arrival is...well a bit weird."  
  
Klaus pauses with a fry halfway between his lips. "Weird, how?"  
  
"Weird as in...Swedish assassins come after him once he lands." You point out the bench outside where Five and Hazel land. "Right out there actually. 3 years from now. Which is actually where the shows second season started, so you know...be on the lookout for that."  
  
"And you seriously aren't going to do anything about it? No...big plans to stop the second doomsday with Five and our family once they show up?"  
  
You shake your head and pop another fry. "Nnnnope. I told you before, I'm done giving them the answers, only to throw it all away and pin the blame on me afterwards. Let them figure it out for themselves, all I want is to be with you." Oh you planned to help where you could, but you weren't going to actively do anything to help. Unless Five and everyone else apologized for their actions back in 2019, you weren't lifting a damn finger to help them.  
  
You survived the moon wiping out all life on earth apparently, not like a nuclear blast could do you much damage in comparison.  
  
Klaus was about to reply when he saw the manager stomp up to the table. "Ah, shit." He hisses and stuffs as much food as he can into his mouth. "You need to get out." The manager looks at the two of you. "Both of you."  
  
"Excuse me? I paid for our meal, We have just as much right to eat here as anybody else." You were lucky you had a few dollars in your wallet when you time travelled, and that inflation wasn't as big a thing in 1960. 

Who knew $15 got you this much?  
  
The manager looks to Klaus. "You smell, and you're frightening my clientele." Then looks to you. "And we don't serve negro sympathizers."  
  
"Excuse me!?" You're ignored in favor of Klaus being strong-armed out of the establishment, and quickly run after them, only to see Klaus shoved onto the pavement face first. "And don't come back until you can pay your damn bill!" He throws the money you had paid with on the ground and stomps back inside. You crouch over Klaus. "Hey, you alright?"  
  
"Chanel..." Sorry, what?  
  
"Oh! Oh, you poor things!" You look up and see an elderly woman who quite frankly looks eerily like Betty White. "Let me help you up!" She holds out a gloved hand for Klaus to take and you see his eyes zero in on the ring on her finger.  
  
"Oh, my dear, you look wretched, here let's get you standing!" She helps you up next and you notice her ring mysteriously vanished. "Um, thank you." You whisper. "Come with me." She says and loops an arm through both of yours. "Let me take care of you."  
  
"Okay." you and Klaus respond and from behind you, you can hear Ben's "Really, you two?"  
  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Sitting up and slowly stretching, you saunter towards the bathroom. "Happy together" has meshed into "Don't threaten me with a good time" His back is facing you and you see nothing but his rather nice butt.  
  
" _Champagne, cocaine, gasoli_ -oh come on!- _gasoline, and most things in between, I roam the_ \- oh for the love of- _city in a shopping cart, a pack of camels and a smoke alarm, This night is heating up, raise hell and_ \- christ on a cracker, it should not be this hard to cut a damn beard!"  
  
You see Klaus trying to shave off that ridiculous beard, and taking pity you tease "Need some help?" at him.  
  
"Oh, thank god! Yes please!" He turns around and you have to bite your fist to keep from giggling like a child. A majority of the beard is gone, but in its place is the goatee you love so much underneath patches of bushy beard. "What happened?" You giggle.  
  
"I...clearly don't know how to use a pair of scissors! And there's no mirror so I can't really see what I'm doing. It is not my morning, apparently."   
  
"Mmmm, no, but it is mine. Naked, wet, and no ZZTop beard? I think I've died and gone to heaven." You take the scissors from him and begin to snip off pieces of the remaining facial hair.

  
**3 Years ago...**

  
Klaus was led to the middle of a large room, while you were standing in the back, arms crossed and an amused smile on your face. You had both been changed into a black shirt and pants, though for some reason Klaus was able to keep his leather lace-ups. Patrons gathered and marvelled at the spectacle that was Klaus "levitating" when really it was Ben holding him up. "So, how do you know the prophet?" A man sauntered up next to you and held out a cigarette. Declining it, you look out at Klaus being held aloft. "I'm his moon and stars."  
  
"His what?"  
  
Chuckling, you look at the man. Blonde hair, soft blue eyes. A nice jawline. If you weren't with Klaus you might have said he was moderately attractive.  
  
"I'm actually from another universe." you continue. "One where the events of this universe take place in a fictional world."  
  
"Did you say another universe?" A elderly woman in blue walks up to you. "Do you know the future as well?"  
  
"I do!" you declare and suddenly several eyes were on you. Oh. Maybe you didn't think this through after all. "Is there anything you can tell us? Any truths of the future?" She begs to know.  
  
"Uhhh..." shit, what was a good thing to say? Something profound, something profound... Ah-ha! A serene smile falls on your face.  
  
“The trouble with talking is it makes you sound clever, and the trouble with waiting is you just wait forever.” you recite and the people around you begin to "ooh! and Ahh!"   
  
_'Seriously?'_ You think, smile still plastered on your face, _'These people cannot be that gullible!'_  
"Ahh, I see." The woman says. "So we shouldn't believe everything we hear, and we shouldn't be content to sit and wait for a future we can make ourselves!" Hold on, what?  
  
They start asking for more, and you have to truly wrack your brain for something...uhhh okay they might have mixed feelings on this one...  
  
"There are two paths you can go by, but in the long run, there is still time to change the road you're on." The people surrounding you are eating this up like it's candy and you want to cry at how stupid they are. You literally just quoted "Stairway to Heaven" for crying out loud!  
  
Before you have a chance to say anything else you can see Ben's strength slip and Klaus begins to fall. Thrusting a hand out you extent your shield so that it stops his fall and as Klaus floats a few inches off the ground, all eyes turn to you. Even Klaus and Ben.  
  
"Shit." You whisper.  
  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Patting Klaus' cheeks you smile and give him a lingering kiss. "There we go." You murmur. "No more ugly beard, and you smell like mangoes as well!"  
  
"Well I do aim to please." Klaus smiles and the two of you share a quiet moment together, foreheads pressed together interspersed with soft kisses. You slowly lead Klaus back to bed. After all, you needed to put that freshly shaven face to good use...

  
**Two years ago...**   
**Baja, Mexico**

  
You and Klaus were laying on a pile of blankets and pillows on top of a moving bus, surrounded by your..."Alternative spiritual community" As Klaus called it. You and Ben called it a cult but you didn't care one way or the other. You were still adamant on not interfering in events, and if this was the road you both took, then so be it.  
  
"Mmmm, this is the life." Klaus murmurs, and slowly sits back on his hands to gaze at you. Your hair is longer and you've taken to wearing more feminine clothing in public, but right now your bellbottoms and loose shirt combo were amazing out here in Mexico.  
  
"What?" You blush at his staring, and even though you've both been together for about a year now, he still makes you turn as red as a tomato in the summer sun.   
  
"Nothing, just wanted to see my universe hoppers face. You look so peaceful right now." Klaus smiles, this might be the most mellow he's ever been without a recreational drug.  
"I could say the same. I've never seen you this calm before."  
  
Klaus quickly stands up and grabs a basket of flower petals. "New timeline, new me, baby. And I'm making the most of it!"  
  
He throws the petals behind his head and a few get in your face. Flicking them away, you see Keechie look like he might explode. "Yes, Keechie?" You motion for him to go ahead.  
  
"Any words of wisdom you could share, oh, Lunar Goddess?"  
  
You smile, but silently cringe at the nickname. You weren't particularly fond of them, or the fact that they all thought you were a walking fortune cookie, but they were happy and you didn't have it in you to upset them. Plus it was either you or Klaus, and to be honest you knew more quotes off the top of your head. Giving your face a faux serious look, you gaze deep into keechies eyes.  
"There will be times, that you will feel alone and exhausted, like a strange little fish swimming against the tides of the big ocean. But have the faith to let go and let the tide carry you away. Because the whole ocean is your home and it does not ask you to swim against it."  
  
Keechies jaw is slack. "That is...profound, goddess."  
  
"Please stop calling me goddess." You whisper.  
  
You suddenly hear the driver shout "DUCK!" and quickly yank Klaus down into your lap. "Oh, eager are we? Well, I am happy to assist..." and he pulls you into a deep kiss.  
  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Tiny love bites pepper your neck and Klaus is smiling against your skin, "Mmm...jail has made me a desperate man, schatz. I don't know how long I can resist you."  
  
"You were in jail for less than a day, ya dingus. You aren't that hardened." You giggle at his kisses and smile as his hands intertwine with yours. You sigh in contentment.  
  
"I wish we could spend everyday like this." you whisper.  
  
"And who's to say we can't?" Klaus counters. You look down at the sheets and feel your face being turned towards his. "Come on, now. Remember your 'scripture': You cannot overcome suffering if you refuse to look at it."  
  
You cringe a bit and roll your eyes. "Please don't throw my own quotes back at me. Makes me feel weird."  
  
"Sorry, but it's true." Klaus shrugs. Moving to straddle your hips, Klaus gazes at you with an intensity to rival the sun. "What's wrong? You look pensive."  
  
"I ran into Allison yesterday. While you were in jail. And...seeing her again...It just made me realize that we're in the second season of the show now. And that means fighting." You reach out to stroke his cheek with the hand not entwined in yours. "I swore to myself I wouldn't get involved again. That I would let events happen as they should and roll with the punches. But now...now I'm -"  
  
"Having second thoughts?" Klaus finished and you nod hesitantly. Leaning down and giving your forehead a soft kiss, he pulls you up so that you're both sitting up, foreheads pressing against each other and wraps his arms around your waist. "You don't have to do anything you don't want to do. We only came here to make sure Dave doesn't enlist. After that we can do whatever you want. If you want to say fuck the world then fuck it. We can enjoy whatever time we've got left before getting nuked to hell and back. And if you want to help save it, I'll support you and help as much as I can."  
"How did I end up with someone as sweet and kind as you?"  
  
"You didn't." Klaus counters. "You helped make me this way."

  
**One year ago...**   
**Varanasi, India**

  
You've decided that this community was a cult, and these people were insane. How they managed to rope you and Klaus into this...water of life bullshit in INDIA of all places, you'll never know. You can see Klaus start to walk out of the water, shirtless, and wet and god there were way too many people here for what you wanted to do to him right now.  
  
People were throwing flower garlands over him and as Klaus walks up to you, you can't help but be captivated by his gaze. It's like you're the only source of clean drinking water for miles and he's but a man dying of thirst.  
  
"All that we do, All that we are, Begins and ends, With ourselves." You speak loudly and clearly and the resulting applause is thunderous. "And with an open mind, one hears truth, however dark it may be." Garlands of flowers are being thrown at your feet and everyone begins showering you in affection. Klaus finally reaches you and though he is clearly taller than you, clad in nothing but a wet ass loincloth, Klaus kneels before you. Oh no. Please no, don't do this please!  
  
"I am but a humble prophet, begging my lunar goddess for wisdom to share with the masses!" He cries out but under his breath you hear, "Work with me, I have a plan to get us out of here."  
  
Cradling his face in your hands you call out: "Oh, prophet, nothing you do is as bad as you make it seem in your head. Nobody's perfect. We have emotions, and we can't always hide them away." You whisper afterwards, "How much longer though? I'm running out of video game quotes!"  
  
"Not much longer," he whispers and jumps away from all the people trying to touch him. You back up at the sensation of hands going up your body and realize these people are trying to rub themselves up against the two of you, like cats.  
  
Grabbing Klaus and holding him tight against you, you whisper harshly into his ear, "I don't care what you have to do, but if Keechie touches my butt one more time, I'm gonna rip his arms off!"  
  
"You and me both. He must be an ass man cause he's gone after mine several times this week alone." You both smile at everyone else and quietly begin plotting your escape from this cult before it drives you both even more insane than you already are.  
  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Later that morning you and Klaus decide to make use of whatever alone time you could get your hands on, and opt to lounge in the pool. "So, you said Allison was here?" Klaus asks and takes a sip of his orange juice. You're sitting on the patio, with your feet dangling in the water.  
  
Nodding, you kick your feet up and down against the motion of the water. "Yep, she should be here sometime today. She uh, helped me make a call...and hide from Keechie..."  
  
Klaus stares at you through his sunglasses. "Why am I not surprised you made the call?"  
  
"I wouldn't have had to had Officer Douchenozzle simply let me go and see you..." You quietly point out.  
  
From somewhere in the house you can hear Ben shout out "Is it safe to come out yet? I might be dead, but my eyes can still burn you know!"  
  
"Oh, for the love of- YES BEN IT'S SAFE TO COME OUT NOW!" You cry out and Ben peeks his head out with his eyes covered. "Buddy, you don't have to do that, you know." you dryly point out.  
  
"I'm not taking any chances, last time i did that Klaus wasn't wearing...anything. Not a visual experience I'd like to relive." Ben shudders.   
  
"Calm down Casper, I'm wearing swimming shorts." Peeking an eye out at Klaus' words, Ben releases a sigh of relief once he realizes that Klaus is telling the truth. Sitting beside you, Ben looks between the two of you. "Did you talk to him about the seeing the pissed off ghosts yet?"   
  
Slowly your head turns and you look over to Ben with wide eyes and hiss "You might be dead, but that doesn't mean I won't hold your head under the water until the bubbles stop coming up."   
  
"Hang on, yeah!" Klaus points a finger to you from the floatie he was lounging on. "We never talked about that! What the hell happened with you? You looked like you had been attacked by a hurricane!"  
  
Grimacing, you look up at the sky. "Something...happened. When you got arrested." And thus you began your tale of poltergeists haunting you by the poolside...


	6. Reuniting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Klaus reunites with Allison, Ben gets traumatized by butt, and we break a brother in law out of jail

**The Swedish Job pt 2**   
**Reuniting**

  
"I can't believe you went through something like that, and you're sure it's only happened when I wasn't there?" Klaus asks. Shrugging, you look over at him giving you a sentimental gaze from the pool. You pick at the purple sarong wrapped around your chest.  
  
"Well, to be fair we haven't exactly been apart longer than a few hours, unless you count the 10 months you spent in Vietnam." You reply thoughtfully. "But then in fairness I was passed out from pain and exhaustion. And a tiny bit of shock." You subtly rub your arm, the scar of cha-chas burn still sitting strong on your skin.   
  
"I need to stop opening my damn mouth. Clearly the whole "magnetic souls" bit was more accurate than I thought if this was the case." Klaus moans and tries to backpedal his floatie over to you, but only manages to flop around like a fish out of water.  
  
You lean back on your hands and gaze up at the sky. "I don't know, maybe our souls are like Yin and Yang. Forever entwined and always balancing each other out. Can't have one without the other, otherwise the whole thing falls out of balance."  
  
"Yeah..." Klaus sighs.  
  
"God that was incredibly sappy." Ben's smile on his face says that there was no heat behind his words, and he was just happy that you were able to sleep without fear of the dead.  
  
Before Klaus has a chance to answer, the three of you hear a voice. "Klaus? [Y/N]? Are you guys here?....Ben?"  
  
You and Ben glance at each other. "Allison!" Your smiles are infectious and Klaus nearly falls into the pool in shock. "Allison?! She's here?!"  
  
"We're out here!" You cry out and Allison, in all her beauty, steps out hesitantly. Her eyes zero in on Klaus. "Oh, my god!"  
  
"Allison!" The reunion is just as you remember, she jumps in the pool after taking her shoes off and embraces Klaus. "Oh, I never thought I'd see you again!" She gasps out.   
  
"We did, we knew we'd see you one day, just didn't know how long it would take. Speaking of...[Y/N]! Ben!" The two of you snap your heads over to Klaus. He's waving his arm not holding onto Allison. "Both of you get over here!"  
  
Grinning over at Ben, the two of you leap into the pool and make your way over to Klaus and Allison for a pseudo group hug. Using your powers, you and Klaus manage to make Ben tangible long enough for Allison to see him and be able to hug him. "Oh, god. Ben!" She grabs on tightly and for a moment you think you can see tears in Ben's eyes at being held by his sister again. He hasn't felt like this since he was a child, having the blood wiped off of him by Allison and and Klaus after missions. Allison is openly crying at being able to see her brother again.  
  
You're starting to wonder if the fan theories that Allison had blamed herself for Ben's death contained some merit, after all.  
  
"Oh, god. Sit down, sit down. We have so much catching up to do!" Klaus waves her over to the edge of the pool and You, her and Ben plant yourselves on the concrete floor.   
  
Laughing Allison points between the three of you. "Yeah, you wanna catch me up on how the three of you ended up in a place like this?"  
  
Klaus shrugs and waves his hands in the pool water. "Oh, you know...dicks, drugs, debutantes. Our holy trinity."  
  
"His holy trinity." You point out. "Me and Ben were mostly on the sidelines."  
  
"Oh, don't give me that!" Klaus counters with a smile. "You were just as much front and center as I was!"  
  
"Klaus, the two of you started a cult." Allison states. There's a smile on her face that says there's no real malice behind her words. She probably half expected something like this.  
  
"Cult is such a negative word. I prefer to think of it as an...alternative spiritual community."  
  
"Klaus, don't mince words. It was a cult." You dryly state and Allison lets out a noise of agreement. "Mmm...nope, you definitely started a cult."  
  
"IT WAS A DAMN CULT YOU IDIOT!" Ben shouts. Wincing, you hold a hand to your ear. "Ben says its a cult too...a little too LOUDLY!" you aim the last part at Ben, who had the decency to look a little sheepish. "Sorry." He says.  
  
"God, ganging up on me...Alright alright alright, what about you? What have you been up to?" Klaus asks. "Because I've heard...from a very reputable source, that you've become a civil rights organizer. And married! Hope he's better than Patrick."   
  
Allison looks over to you, eyebrow raised and a smile on her face. "Show had a second season, didn't it?" She says amusedly.  
  
"Yeah..." You grin and rub the back of your neck sheepishly.  
  
"Well," Allison turns back to Klaus, and smiles wistfully. "Your "Reputable source" would be right. I am in fact a civil rights organizer in Dallas with my husband, Raymond Chestnut."  
  
"Ray..." There's a content smile on her face and this is probably the happiest you've ever seen her.  
  
"Wait, is he locked up right now?" Klaus asks.  
  
"Yeah, how'd you..." Allison suddenly remembers seeing you yesterday at the station. "Ah. That's why you were at the station yesterday, [Y/N]."  
  
"Yeah, yeah." Klaus laughs in disbelief "Me and him did time together! Wow. Small world."   
  
"We organized a really big sit in at a lunch counter today and then ray got arrested on some bullshit charge and...I can't get him out."  
  
"Hello? Why didn't you just rumor him out?" Klaus points out and you facepalm.   
  
"Klaus, no white cop is going to simply give in to a black woman's pleas and every black guy in 1963 knows this, so even if she used her powers, that would just raise a whole slew of questions."  
  
Allison nods at your words. "Plus, I haven't used my powers since..." She touches the scar on her neck and you're hit with a wave of guilt. If only you had gone with her..."Which I am still NOT blaming you for, by the way. You saved my life." she points at you and you duck your head at her words.  
  
"But yeah," She continues. "I couldn't speak for a year."  
  
"Oooh." Klaus winces in sympathy. "Oooh, I'm sorry, Allison."  
  
"No, it's okay, I like who I am without it." There's a proud smile on her face and you're glad to see she's moved on and matured. "Everything I have I've earned, and it feels really good. You know?"  
  
"Not really, I've been relying on a ghost and my beloved who's from another universe who refuses to interfere in events anymore." Klaus' words are nonchalant but there's an undercurrent of resignation. Like he doesn't like that you won't interfere but can understand why.  
  
"Yeah, that has me confused too. I thought you would have been the first to stop this from happening?" Allison asks and your face has taken on a neutral tone.  
  
"I got tired of giving the answers only for people to ignore them and then place the blame on me afterwards. I'm not lifting a finger until I get an apology from the 3 idiots who refused to listen in the first place." You lift a hand and inspect your nails.  
  
"And the whole...dressing like a woman thing?"  
  
"Nonbinary people aren't looked at with kindness in the '60s." You point out. "And being female keeps Klaus from being labelled as a "Queer" so you know...whatever helps."  
  
"I keep telling you, I've had that term thrown at me since I was 18, it's nothing new! I don't mind you dressing as a man!" Klaus throws his arms out and points to the crescent moon on his chest. "Just because the cult thinks of you as a goddess doesn't mean you have to dress like one all the time! Besides, gods are androgynes! They don't have a gender!"  
  
"Look, just because they call me a Lunar goddess doesn't mean you can. I don't like that term, makes me feel...icky." You shudder and wriggle your body, like a thousand snakes are on you.  
  
"Wait, what?" Allison looks like a kid watching her parents argue. "Hold on, is THAT why that one guy had the crescent moon on his forehead? And why you were avoiding him?"  
  
"Yeah..." You and Klaus cringe, "His name is Keechie, he's...a bit overzealous in his affections."  
  
"A bit is an understatement." Klaus bitterly adds.  
  
"He's an ass who likes Ass. Including Jills." Ben throws out.  
  
"Ben doesn't like him either." You add conspiritorily.   
  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
You all spend the next few hours chatting and catching up before Allison leaves to meet up with her civil rights group. Klaus gets up and drops his trunks before walking into the mansion, passing Ben who crys out in fake agony.   
  
"My eyes!" He screams. "They burn!"  
  
"Where are you going?" You call out and get up to join him. Meeting him in the master bedroom, Klaus tosses you a pair of Bellbottom jeans and a blue polo. "Uhhh, are we busting Ray out of Jail?"  
  
"Yyyup!"  
  
"Uhhh, okay." You slip on the clothes and Klaus pulls on the orange striped shirt you like so much with another pair of Bellbottoms. Handing you a pair of boots Klaus calls out to Ben,  
"Are you done bleaching your eyes yet? We gotta head down to the Police station! Time to work some magic!"  
  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
With the two of you sitting on the couch by the holding cells, Klaus has his head nestled in your neck and his sunglasses on your face. Your slowly running your fingers through his hair and he sighs in contentment.   
  
"How much longer is Ben going to be?" Klaus complains. "He's been at this forever!"  
  
You look at the clock sitting on the wall. "It's only been like 10 minutes."  
  
"Feels like 10 years." Klaus sighs despondently.  
  
Poking him in the cheek you laugh as he swats your hand with a playful scowl. "Stop complaining this was your idea."  
  
"One that I am glad for." Ben comes sauntering around the corner then, a smug grin on his face.   
  
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, don't gloat." Klaus groans. "You sure took your sweet time."  
  
"Had to be perfect in getting our in-law out of jail." And Ray walks out just as Ben finishes speaking, rolling up his shirtsleeves.   
  
"You?" Ray exclaims. "You got me out?"  
  
"I told you I had friends in _"High"_ places." Klaus smiles and pulls the two of you out of your seats and over to Ray.  
  
"I don't know what to say." Ray is flummoxed that someone - a white man no less - would help him out of this situation.  
  
"Don't say a word. Anything for family, brother." And Klaus pulls Ray into a deep hug. Ray looks to you like you might have the answers but you can only shrug and smile.  
  
"Well, okay. We are all brothers beneath the skin." Ray hopes that's what he meant, but you bite your lower lip and giggle just a bit.   
  
"No, no." Klaus pulls away and looks at Ray. "Literally. You're our brother-in-law."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Yeah, and this...this is my beloved [Y/N]." Klaus wraps an arm around your waist and you wave at him sheepishly. "Sorry about this." You laugh at his dumbstruck expression and move to shake his hand.   
  
"Are you his...wife?" Ray asks. "If you like." you shrug.  
  
"But yeah, man. Family barbeques are about to get reaaal weird." Klaus pats Ray on the shoulder and walks off with you in tow.   
  
Turning your head around you shoot Ray one last grin. "Don't get mad at Allison for this! Believe me, it's hard enough explaining a family of adopted siblings to anyone, much less a husband! Later!"


	7. Hardware stores are not a place for reunions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Klaus' first time seeing Dave not dead since 1968, and Allison's rally turns into a riot. Just your average afternoon with the Hargreeves.

  
**The swedish job pt 3**   
**Hardware stores are not a place for reunions**

  
You had a pretty good feeling where this little side trip was gonna lead you, and judging by the look on Ben's face, so did he. When you pulled up in front the hardware store Klaus takes the keys out and sits stone faced staring out the windshield.  
  
"Hey." You whisper and Klaus grunts in acknowledgement. "We don't have to do this right now, you know."  
  
"They're right." Ben agrees. "We have five days before Kennedy is set to be here, there's plenty of time for you to talk to Dave. It doesn't have to be now."  
  
"No, it, it does." Klaus sighs and pockets his keys. "I have no hope of convincing him right now, but I need to see him. He'd be so young...barely 18 by now. Way too young to join the army and for a bullshit cause no less."  
  
"Careful." You tease. "Starting to sound like a hippy there."  
  
Sighing, the three of you exit the car and enter the hardware store. "Remember," You warn, "You don't have to do anything you aren't comfortable with." Holding the door open for the two of you, you're the last to enter the establishment. Inside is what you'd expect from a standard, run of the mill hardware store in the '60s, and you're suddenly appreciative of having YouTube and DIY channels. All of this looks way out of your comfort zone.  
  
"David? You got customers." Someone off in the back calls out and A young man, hell, still a boy you could argue comes out.  
  
"David?" Klaus breathes out and you know he only has eyes for you, but hearing the longing come out of his voice has you on edge.  
  
"Uhh...that's what is says on my name tag, yeah." Dave points to it and smiles and you know you can't say anything, that this is Klaus' battle he needs to fight. But damn do you want to just take him in your arms and protect him from this pain.  
  
Klaus lets out a sharp exhale. "Look at you with your jokes...and your nametag..." There's a tremble in his voice and you can see his eyes begin to water.  
  
"Well, can I help you find anything?" Dave asks and god you remember being that young and helpful. Working retail for 6 years killed any ounce of joy in this industry though.  
  
"Uh..." You roll your eyes and nudge Klaus. "Excuse my husband, he's had a rough day. We're looking for...paint!"   
  
"Paint?" Dave confirms.  
  
"Paint?" Klaus and Ben whisper, one confusedly and the other bemusedly.  
  
"Yes, paint. Shut up." You hiss to the two of them. "We're remodeling the second bathroom and need some paint." You smile in what you hope is a calm veneer of a 60's woman, but inside your brimming with nervous energy. Why are you the one doing this? This was Klaus' battle so why were you the one talking to him?  
  
Looking over, you see Klaus frozen like a statue, just looking at you with an open mouth. You aren't sure what he's shocked about, but he needs to snap out of it, like NOW.  
  
"Uh s-sure. What color paint were you looking for?" You step on Klaus' foot and he jumps before regaining his composure. "Oh, I don't know...eggshell?"  
  
"Egg...Eggshell? How do you mean eggshell?" Dave asks and you see the wheels in his head trying to understand what the hell an eggshell was.  
  
"As in...like white...or you know, off white? Like an eggshell?" Klaus clarifies and you can see him subtly pull his sleeves further down to cover his tattoos. All this effort for one best friend. Never let it be said Klaus half asses things.  
  
Dave looks behind him. "We're fresh out of white...but I do have maime pink on special!" Dave holds up two cans of paint. "Goes very nice in the latrine."  
  
"That sounds perfect." You reply. Dave goes and sets up the paint shaker and you look over at Ben to see him eyeing Klaus' worriedly. "Dude, come on man. You need to get a hold of yourself." He chastises.  
  
"I know!" Klaus hisses and the two of you move over to Dave's spot by the paint shaker.  
  
"You're pretty good at that." Klaus chuckles. "Thanks." Dave laughs quietly. For a while all you can hear is the sound of the shaker and you look over and see Klaus distantly gazing at something. Grabbing his hand, he snaps out of whatever daze he was in and looks over at you. You smile and kiss the back of it and Klaus softly smiles back.  
  
"All set!" The two of you look to see Dave moving the paint cans over to the counter and you reach out and grab Klaus' wallet from his back pocket. You pay, and with a "Thanks." From Klaus the three of you leave and enter Klaus' car.  
  
"That...was the most painful interaction I've ever witnessed." Ben states. Klaus lets his head softly thunk against the steering wheel and groans. "It was horrible, but I couldn't say anything! All I could think about was the war and it just...argh!" He pounds the wheel in frustration and hisses softly at the pain. You roll your eyes and grab his hand. "Calm down, we've still got time. You said it yourself. There's no way you'd be able to convince him now. But there's always tomorrow, and the day after that until the 22nd. If we can't manage to convince him by then...well." You shrug. "Maybe it was just meant to happen." You didn't have the heart to tell him that by the end of this journey Dave would wind up joining the Marines.  
  
You aren't stupid enough to think that telling him this now would in any way help his mental state.  
  
Klaus suddenly looks toward you. "You know the future."  
  
"No." You resolutely shake your head. "You can help me! We can fix this!" He pleads.  
  
"Absolutely not!" You move your arms into the shape of an X and you see Klaus visibly deflate. "But why not?" He whines.  
  
"Well for one, what part of "I'm not interfering in the established order of events." did you not understand?"  
  
"Well, yeah but I thought that was just for Five and the apocalypse thing."  
  
"No it's for EVERYTHING. And two," You move to cradle his head in your hands, "trust me when I say knowing the future is a terrible burden. There are some things you are better off not knowing and this is definitely one of them."  
  
You smile softly at him. "Let me ask you a question. Say I told you the future, and you use that knowledge to change Dave's fate from what I told you. But that fate ends up being completely different and quite possibly so much worse than what you remember. At that point, would you have been happier knowing the future?"  
  
Klaus slowly shakes his head. "I...I don't know."  
  
Your smile turns bittersweet. "Neither did I. And now I do. I'll help you try and fix this, because I love you and I want to see you happy with your best friend not dead in the trenches, but I can't give you all the answers. Okay?" You're praying he drops this topic, you never thought you'd have to try and steer him away from knowing the future but the old adage "Ignorance is bliss" really does hold some merit in this case.  
  
In the backseat Ben is sitting quietly but has his full attention on Klaus' response. He's used to dealing with his brothers crap, but since you've entered his life, he's become somewhat of a semi-functioning adult. Maybe in another life Ben would be apathetic and bitter towards his brothers plight, but right now, Ben just wants to see him happy. Being stuck with knowledge of the future that you couldn't change isn't something he would wish on anyone. The powerlessness, the constant feeling of despair at not being able to change things, Ben understood that better than anyone. And it's something you've been wracked with since day 1.   
  
For a few moments Klaus just sat there, staring into your eyes, before sighing. "Okay."  
  
"Okay?" Your smile is hopeful again and Klaus suddenly feels bad that he tried to ask you to do this in the first place. "Okay." He repeats and you can hear Ben let out a quiet sigh of relief. "Oh, thank god." he breathes.  
  
From your position you raise your eyebrow and smile a bit. You move to say something-probably a quip or tease of some sort - but the Police sirens and cruisers driving past at breakneck speed get your attention first.  
  
You look at Klaus and he has the same look of worry on your face. "Allison!" You all breathe and Klaus quickly peels away towards Statdlers.  
  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
When the three of you reach the restaurant, your suddenly reminded of the riots you had witnessed in 2020. There's protestors from both sides everywhere, cops attacking innocent sit-in attendees, tear gas canisters tossed like confetti. You have to hold the collar of your shirt to your face just to keep from choking. "Come on!" You coughed, and grabbed Klaus' arm. He wasn't faring much better either, judging by the non-stop coughing and the tears blurring his vision. You move to interlock your fingers together and make sure to keep them in an iron grip. Right now, getting separated was as good as getting killed.  
  
"Guys! I found her! She's over here!" Ben shouts and the two of you look over to where he was pointing. "Oh, no." You whisper.  
  
You can see Allison screaming at some poice officer who was beating on her husband and it was breaking your heart to see this. "No! Please! Stop!" She's screaming. "You're killing him!"  
  
"You're next!" The officer points his club at her and a look of determination crosses her tear stricken face.   
  
" _I heard a rumor_...that you walked away."  
  
The cop suddenly drops his club and walks away, to where you don't know or care.   
  
"Ray? Ray, are you hurt?" Allison drops to where Ray was lying on the ground and checks him over for injuries.  
  
"What did you say to him? What the hell did you say to him?!" Ray's scared and confused and rightfully so. You weren't kidding when you said her rumoring wouldn't be seen as a good thing in this era.  
  
"Uh..." Allison is floundering but Ray is relentless. "What the hell did you say to him?!"  
  
"I just told him to leave you alone!"  
  
"Ain't no way in hell, a white cop is gonna walk away just cause a black woman tells him to!" Ray points out and you give Klaus a look that says ' _See? This is what I meant!'_  
  
Allison starts coughing through the smoke. "Ray...we don't have time for this! Come on! We gotta go!"  
  
"Who are you?" Ray asks. Allison stops, hurt and confused by his words. He starts pulling away. "Ray...Ray!"  
  
"Who the hell are you?!"  
  
Klaus decides now is as good a time as any to get Allison out of the fire and you join him in grabbing one of Allisons arms and tugging her away.  
  
"Allison we need to go!" You shout but she doesn't hear you. "Ray! Ray!" She screams.  
  
Klaus only tugs harder. "Allison come on, we need to go!" He pleads and she lets the two of you tug her along. Klaus turns his head and his eyes widen. "[Y/N]! Look out!"  
  
You look to see a cop coming at you with a baton and you quickly raise your shield. The baton hits the shield and you can see the look of confusion on the cops face. "I don't think so." You warn and with a flash of electric blue you blast him away.   
  
The cop flies back several feet and you don't stick around to check and see if he was still breathing. Grabbing Klaus and Allisons arms you move them out of the area and towards Klaus' car, Ben running ahead as lookout.  
  
"Is there anywhere we can go?" You ask and Allison gives out an address through her tears as she piles into the backseat with Ben.  
  
Klaus starts the engine and you move to sit in the passenger side. With a screech of tires the four of you drive off, Allisons tears and your coughs being the only sounds that permeate the car.  
  
You know, for 1963, you're beginning to think this feels an awful lot like 2020.


	8. Frogs are bitches and so are homophobes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Story time with Klaus, breakfast at Stadtlers, and we try to stop a young gay man from enlisting. Sure that’ll go over well...

**The Majestic Twelve Pt 1**   
**Frogs are bitches, and so are homophobes**

  
You wake up groggily on Allison's sofa the next morning. Klaus is snoozing away beside you and you gently stand up and move towards the kitchen. You knew how Klaus liked having his coffee in the mornings and you were more of an early bird yourself.   
  
You can see Allison sitting at the table, head in her hands. "Morning." You quietly announce and she looks up at you. "Morning." She responds and you can see dark circles under her eyes and tiredness in her posture. "Did you get any sleep?" you ask.   
  
Allison shakes her head negative. "Couldn't. Every time I close my eyes I just see Ray being beaten and the look in his eyes when I..." She closes her eyes and gives out a harsh laugh. "You were right. A black woman rumoring a white cop was a terrible idea. I don't know what I was thinking."  
  
You move to sit down and gently take her hands in yours. "You were thinking of your husbands safety. You did what you had to do. If you look back and think of all the "What if's", all you're gonna do is make your head burst."  
  
"I'm worried about him." Allison confides. "Ray didn't come home and I...I'm worried something happened."  
  
"Ray's a smart man." You reassure. "From what I've seen he knows what he's doing. If he isn't here there's a good chance he regrouped with a friend or something. Worse case scenario he's at the hospital."   
  
Nodding, Allison moves to stand up and she grabs the phone sitting on the wall. "You're right. I just...need to check places he could be, that's all." You hear her mumble "He's not dead, he's not dead, he's not dead." under her breath repeatedly before dialing the number for Parkland Hospital.  
  
"Parkland Hospital?" You see Klaus start to wake up and you make a slashing motion with your neck and point to Allison. He nods and stays silent.  
  
"Yes. I'm... looking for a patient, Raymond Chestnut. He may have been brought in last night after the riot at Statdlers." The look on Allison's face drops suddenly and you see a confused expression take its place.  
  
"Why does that matter?" Confusion slips into irritation as whatever the receptionist said must have hit a sore nerve.  
  
"Of course you don't treat negroes. How silly of me." and with that Allison slams the phone down on the receiver and puts her face in her hands. "Shit." She sighs. You get up to rub her shoulder in sympathy and see Klaus sit up on the couch.   
  
"You alright?" Klaus tenatively asks. "No. Ray didn't come home last night." Allison says.  
  
Nodding, Klaus looks blearily at you and you move to hold the coffee pot for him to see. Instantly his demeanor changes and he gets up to go into the kitchen and you pour him a mug.  
  
"Okay. Okay. I'm sure he's fine. Okay...first thing we're gonna need is coffee..." He makes grabby hands for the mug and you smile and pass it over. He grins at you and takes a big drink.  
  
"Vitamin B12...oh! And a piping hot bowl of menudo. And then we're gonna sort all this stuff out." Klaus moves to pull you into his lap and what normally would have made you squeak in embarrassment years ago only makes you nuzzle into the crook of his neck now.  
  
"He saw me rumor that cop, Klaus." Allison points out and Klaus just blinks at her, like it was a completely justified thing to do. "I know. But uh...you...you were saving his life. I mean, that asshole was gonna kill him."  
  
"I'm such an idiot." she moans and flops down at the table.  
  
"No, you're not." Klaus denies and takes a swig of coffee. "Mmm, this is good! You've been getting better at this!" he throws the compliment at you and kisses you on the cheek.  
"Thanks." You preen. "Ben's been giving me lessons."  
  
"I promised myself I would never do this again." Allison continues. "Nothing good ever comes from it. Especially with me being...well..." Allison circles her face and sighs. You and Klaus share a look and you have to bite your lip to keep from smiling.   
  
Looks like its time for storytime with Klaus!  
  
"Have you ever heard the fable of the scorpion and the frog?" Klaus begins. Allison's faces takes on a looks of confusion. "What?"  
  
"The scorpion wants to get across the river, so he asks the frog to carry him across. But the frogs like "Well, what's in it for me?" and the scorpions like "Well, how about five bucks?" and the frog says "Make it twenty." The scorpions like "Ten." and the frog goes "Alright, fine. Fifteen." and the Scorpions like "All right, fine. Fifteen." Then halfway across the river, the frog feels this terrible pain on his back and...eh...the scorpion stung him. You know? And the frogs like "Well, what the hell? We're both gonna drown now!" and...they both did."  
  
It's silent for a few moments, the only sound being the ticking of the clock before Allison explodes,  
  
"What the hell was the point of that story?!"   
  
"The point is..."Klaus starts, "Frogs are bitches. And we do not negotiate with terrorists."  
  
"I... _think_ there was a point about your nature but it might've gotten lost in translation." You try and clarify but Allison just gives you an equally bewildered look before storming up out her seat.   
"No. No, no, no. I...actually can't deal with you two right now." Allison grabs her purse and keys.  
  
"I'm sorry, I'm not a morning person..." Klaus moans tiredly and takes another swig of coffee.  
  
"Can we do this again at like...where are you going?"  
  
"To find my damn husband!" Allison shouts before continuing in a softer tone, "[Y/N], I'm gonna check Odessa's. You might be right about Ray being at a friends."  
  
"I usually am." You casually toss out.  
  
"Wish me luck!" She calls out and you can hear the front door click shut.  
  
Klaus only closes his eyes and moans out another "Menudo..." before grunting as you pull him out of his seat. "Come on you." You laugh. "Let's go get some breakfast."  
  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
"Why do you keep dragging me back to this shit-hole?" your grumbling over your coffee, making sure to keep your face hidden. Last time you were here, the manager kicked you out for not being a bigot. You're pretty certain he's still here, and you don't want a repeat of what had happened last time.  
  
"6 o'clock, in the booth. Be subtle about it." Klaus murmurs. Looking in the reflection of the napkin holder you can see the reflection of Dave and some man you're pretty sure is his uncle Brian.  
"Is that...?"  
  
"Yep." Klaus takes a sip of his own coffee and sighs. You bite your lip and look anxiously at him. This was a big turning point for Klaus. If things went the way you remember, there's a huge chance you're gonna be picking him up after falling off the wagon.  
  
You know you've been saying about how you weren't gonna interfere, but you don't want to see him hurt or in pain. Not if you could help it.  
  
Sighing, you take the rest of your coffee and down it in one gulp, grimacing at the bitterness. "Well, Brian over there is about to go to the bathroom here in a second, now's your best chance to talk to Dave."  
  
"How do you-" Klaus gives a harsh laugh. "The show. Right."  
  
You shush Klaus before he can say anything else and just hold up a finger. "Gotta hit the head." you both hear and from the corner of your eye you can see Klaus make a beeline for Daves booth. "This is gonna end badly..." you mutter and get up to follow him.  
  
"Hey!" Dave greets and you smile kindly at him while Klaus slides into the booth opposite of him. "Maime pink, right?"  
  
"Klaus Hargreeves, and this is my beloved [Y/N] Hargreeves, but you can call us whatever you like." You choke a little on your own spit and shoot Klaus a glare. You know you joke about being a married couple but you didn't think he'd say something like-  
  
Aw, who are you kidding? Of course he would.  
  
"How's she looking? The latrine?" Klaus shakes his hand to wave off any other inane questions. "Listen to me, we have to talk to you about something important. Okay?"  
  
"Okay." Dave is unsure, but he's also been taught to respect his elders...and Klaus is, in fairness, almost a decade older than him.  
  
"Okay. This is gonna sound kinda crazy but, uh... " Klaus lets out a sigh. "I know you."  
  
"Uh, yeah. Sure. From the hardware store." Dave is looking around, wondering if this is some kind of prank and god you wish it were.   
  
"No, from before. Well, after, actually. Listen, I know you're thinking about enlisting," Oh, well he's just jumping in feet first! "Thinking it's your duty cause your grandfather fought in world war I and your father fought in World War II and that guy you're eating brunch with is your Uncle Ryan who fought in Korea."  
  
"Brian." You correct automatically and then wince at your slip. Dave looks at you in shock. "How did you-?"  
  
" _Brian_. Right." Klaus continues. "And you look up to Brian. And you're starting to believe all this stuff he's saying about the military making you a man."  
  
"Is this a joke or something?" Dave nervously chuckles and looks around the room.  
  
"Dave, if you enlist, they're gonna send you out to Vietnam." Klaus continues and you want to bash your head against the wall at how unsubtle he's being right now.  
  
"The heck you talking about?"  
  
"Fifty thousand American soldiers, and a million Vietnamese..." Klaus chuckles "... all die for nothing! Because the dominos aren't gonna topple, Dave. The communists aren't gonna invade all of East Asia!"  
  
"And if you are forced to join the military,-" You cut in before Brian can get back. He's taking longer than what you remember and you figure this is your best chance at saving him without him joining the Marines.  
  
This is the one time you'll interfere in the timelines. Klaus better damn well appreciate it.  
  
"-then I suggest joining the National Guard! One of my old roommates was a member, He said you never left the country and you were always on call to fight if need be. But the odds of being deployed were super low." You can see Dave begin to contemplate the idea when his face freezes in fear and he looks over your shoulder.  
  
"Say's you. And the National Guards for sissies and queers." You slowly clench your fists at Brian. He's standing right beside you, and from inside the booth you can see Klaus grit his teeth at the slur.  
  
"Oh, hey...Brian." Klaus bites out.  
  
"You know these...clowns?"  
  
"Um, they bought pink paint at the store." Dave nervously replies and looks to you in fear.  
  
Hang on...this wasn't in the show. Was Dave more afraid of his family then he let on? You knew people often tried to "Beat the gay" out of closeted men and women in the '60s and you're beginning to wonder if the same happened to him. If that's the case, you have more reason than ever to hate Brian.  
  
"Pink paint." Brian chuckles. "Makes sense."  
  
"You know, pink can actually be very masculine in the right setting." Klaus points out. "And It was for my...wife...here." You know Klaus was so used to using gender neutral terms for you and as a fellow non-binary he understood what it was like to be uncomfortable being misgendered. But you didn't care, if it kept him from being punched in the face, you'll take every slur and misgender in the book.  
  
Brian looks you up an down. "Wife...right." He scoffs in your direction. "Why don't you two get out of my seat, queers?"  
  
"Watch it!" You warn. "I don't take kindly to you calling my husband a slur!"  
  
"Oh, wow." Klaus bemoans, "If I had a nickel for every time I heard that." And that makes the ache even worse. Growing up, you had grown a hard outer shell at the notion of being called queer, even owned it and made it your own. But to hear Klaus went through the same struggles and knowing he didn't grow up in the same LGBTQ+ safe space you had?  
  
It only broke your heart even more.  
  
Brian shoves you out of the way and he grabs Klaus and hauls him out of the seat, where he lands face first on the counter. "Oh! Ooh! Take it easy there, _Brian_!" Klaus' laugh is painful and harsh, but it quickly gets pushed aside to let out a sigh. He turns to Dave and you grab his hand to help give moral support. "We just need 5 minutes of your time Dave."  
  
"Just gonna sit there and listen to these pansies?" Brian goads.  
  
"Dave listen to me, you don't need to define yourself by someone else's expectations, you are your own person!" You plead, and Klaus adds "You don't have to join to become a man!"  
  
"Hit the queers!" Brian orders.  
  
"Don't sacrifice yourself." Klaus begs, and you nod in agreement. "The army isn't the be-all end-all solution."  
  
"Hit them, damn it!"  
  
"Cause you're my best friend!" Klaus pleads.  
  
"Hit them!"  
  
"And I know one day, you'll be mine."  
  
"Hit the queers!"  
  
"And you'll want to hear about my moon and stars and beg to meet them and -"  
  
"Hit them! Hit them!" Something inside Dave snaps under the pressure and without thinking, you quickly push Klaus out of the way of Dave's oncoming punch.  
  
You feel your head snap over to the right as you topple onto a nearby table. You slowly push yourself up and the first thing you see is Klaus' horrified expression. You slowly turn your head and Dave has a look of fear and self-loathing, like he's ashamed he was goaded into doing something like this in the first place. You wanted to tell him it was alright, that you didn't blame him. But you couldn't say anything. You can taste something wet and metallic on your tongue, and you hold a hand up to your lip and pull away to see blood on your fingers. What should have taken at least a few minutes only took the space of a few seconds and before you know it time has sped back up again. You look around and can see all the patrons staring at you.  
  
Klaus grabs your hand and hauls you out of the restaurant, shoving passerby out of the way.  
  
What you don't see is Ben giving you both a concerned gaze as he silently follows you out of the building.  
  
"Klaus?" You ask. "What are you-where are we going?"  
  
Klaus doesn't say anything more than "I need a drink. And I'm pretty sure you do too." He doesn't say anything else after that. He doesn't need to.  
  
Because Klaus was right, you DO need a drink.   
  
All today has taught you is that you were ultimately right.  
  
No matter what you do, the universe is bound and determined to make sure the events in this timeline happen how they should. This is why you were bound and determined to keep from interfering anymore.  
  
Why should you bother trying when the end result always stays the same no matter what you do?


	9. Falling off the wagon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The drunken aftermath of getting punched in the face, and a quiet moment with Allison. Big sisters like her come few and far between.

**The Majestic Twelve pt 2**   
**Falling off the wagon**

  
You breathe in a heavy sigh as the two of you stare up at the Liquor store. You can't believe you're about to let Klaus throw three years of sobriety out the window. But this time he isn't gonna be suffering alone. Because you're gonna be with him.  
  
You figure, what was the point in trying to stop him? Ultimately, you were right. No matter what you do or say, the universe is bound and determined to make sure the timeline stays as it should.   
  
And if the timeline says Klaus got drunk?  
  
Well. Who were you to argue?  
  
You move to open the door and hold your hand out for Klaus to go in first with a flourish. Bowing a little he smiles at you and walks in.  
  
"It's not too late you know. For either of you." You roll your eyes at Ben as he stands in the corner.  
  
Klaus grabs a cart and pushes it over to you. "Oh, I think we all know it is. [Y/N] has been saying it for years, and now it finally makes sense!" Looking over at Ben, Klaus pushes a stray hair out of the way. "What's the point in trying?" he whispers.  
  
"You both really want to throw three years of sobriety out the window?"  
  
"Ben, in case it eluded your grasp," You start and hold up a bottle of gin for Klaus to see. He nods enthusiastically and you place it in the cart. "The last three years have been a royal shitshow! The only upswing to any of it was that I got to spend them with the two of you!"   
  
you take the bottle of vodka Klaus had started chugging and took a swig yourself. You grimace as it burns going down your throat.  
  
"But the one time I think I might have the ability to change something, I get socked in the face, so why should I bother trying to stop him now? I say, why not join in?"  
  
"Maybe because you love him and DON'T want to see him fall off the wagon? I mean, this is only gonna make it worse!" Ben has a point, but you're too busy losing yourself in the sensation of alcohol to really care. "Maybe." You shrug.  
  
"Let's find out!" Klaus cheers and the two of you clink a couple bottles of wine together. Ben's only available option is to sigh and stand off to the side. You aren't as enthusiastically drinking as Klaus, enough to have a rough idea of what's going on, but still just tipsy enough that everything is starting to spin.  
  
"Ooooh! Klaus look! They have Jack Daniels!" You grab a bottle and cuddle it up to your face.  
  
"Careful, shatzchen. Last time you drank that you ended up with that lovely tattoo!"  
  
Shrugging, you place the bottle in the cart. "Eh, I'll be careful. I won't chug it this time around!"  
  
By the time you were finished with your booze run Klaus was three sheets to the wind and you were just barely hanging onto the edge of coherency yourself. Ben could only watch in sadness as you two drank everything away.  
  
When you two made it back to the mansion you hold out a hand for Klaus to stop. Well, really it was more like he ran into it, but it still stopped him. "What'd you do that for?" His voice is slurred but you know what he meant.  
  
"Look." You point to door and can see it slightly ajar. "Oh, no." Klaus moans and you both look behind you to see 4 cars and a bus parked on the edge of the driveway.  
  
"Shit." you both sigh out.  
  
The door opens suddenly and a man you've never met before but he probably knows all about you cries out "It's the goddess and her prophet! Everyone! They've returned!"  
  
"The Lunar Goddess?!" "It's the Holy wanderer!" "The celestial travelers!" You can hear from various other people and you see about 30-40 people barge out the door chanting for you and Klaus...but mostly you. And nope. You're out! Goodbye mansion, it was nice while it lasted!  
  
"Oh, fuck no! Not this shit again!" And with that you take off down the driveway, Klaus following closely behind you.  
  
"No! You have to stay in the mansion! You all have to stay in the mansion! Stay in the..." You toss whatever Klaus has in his back to the ground and grab his hand, pulling him along. "Shit-sticks!" Klaus hisses.  
  
"Relax," You huff and hold up the bottle of Jack Daniels you managed to hang onto. "We can still have some fun!"   
  
"Have I ever mentioned, how much I love you? Because I love you so, so much." You smile, but its bitter and sad. You know he's gonna regret this in the morning, and so will you for that matter, but honestly you just can't bring yourself to care. Right now, you just want a drink.  
  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
About several hours and 3 more bottles later, you and Klaus turn up on Allison's doorstep in the dead of night. Your buzz had long since faded but Klaus was drinking for the both of you it seems. He was still clutching a bottle of vodka and had draped himself over your shoulder while you rang the doorbell.  
  
When Allison opens the door, you sheepishly smiled and waved with your free hand. "Hi." you squeak.  
  
"Hola! Esta...Allison...en casa buena?" Klaus slurs. Allison just gives the two of you a deapan stare.  
  
"Oh sweet jesus." She mutters and moves aside to let you in. Stumbling with half of Klaus' weight you struggle to move over to the living room. "We just need a place to crash for the night." you say and Allison waves you off with "Couch's all yours."  
  
"Don't go chasing waterfalls... I mean, stick to the rivers and the lakes that you're used to...BITCHES!"  
  
Sighing, you let Klaus flop onto the sofa and grab the blanket Allison handed you and drape it over him. You're movements are soft and calm, and you tug the bottle out of his hands and replace it with a pillow. Klaus doesn't notice and clutches the pillow tighter. Looking down, you notice there's a little bit of Vodka left in the bottle and with a shrug you down the rest of the contents, shivering at the burn rushing down your throat.   
  
"Holy shit, your lip is bleeding." You touch your fingers to your lip and pull away to find more blood on it. Shit the split must have opened back up again.  
  
"I...yeah, that's partly the reason behind our drunken night of bullshit." You sigh. Allison gives you a look. The kind most mothers give their children right before they get interrogated after doing something stupid.  
  
"Come on, let's get you cleaned up." She leads you to the bathroom and pushes you down onto the toilet lid.  
  
"So, want to explain what the hell happened? Cause I'm not dumb enough to think Klaus did that to you." Allison leans down and grabs the first aid kit under the sink.  
  
"No, god no, he didn't do this...it's complicated." you rub your forehead, the early stages of a late night hangover becoming apparent. "Earlier, we uh, ran into Dave. At Statdlers."  
  
"Dave? Klaus' friend from Vietnam?" You're shocked Allison still remembers who he was.  
  
"Uh, yeah. Him. And uh-Ah!" you wince as she begins dabbing your lip with a wet towel. "Well, we tried to get him to not join the Army."  
  
"That must have gone over well."  
  
"Oh, yeah. It was great." Your voice is coated in sarcasm. "Dave's a closeted gay man in the '60s and I'm fairly certain his family is beating him for it. The look in his eyes when he mentioned the words "Pink paint"..." you shudder, remembering all the times growing up that other people would threaten to beat or kill you simply for existing...  
  
God that was hitting way too close to home for your liking.  
  
You shake yourself out of your memory and look back at Allison, as she gives you a sympathetic look. "His uncle Brian was goading him to hit us, and I knew Dave was gonna hit Klaus, like in the show."  
  
"So you took the hit." Allison surmises.  
  
"So I took the hit. After that Klaus just...something in him snapped. I think he finally realized how I felt after having my warnings ignored and tossed aside, cause he went on a bender. Three years of sobriety, right out the window...and I helped put him there." You put your head in your hands. "God, I'm an idiot."  
  
"Just a bit." Allison agrees. You look up and glare at her. "Oh, I'm sorry, did you want me to lie to you?"  
  
"Well, no. But I was hoping for something a bit more encouraging than that."  
  
Shrugging, Allison moves to wet the towel again and starts dabbing your lip. "It's like you said to me earlier, you were thinking of his safety. I'm not gonna say you what you did was smart, but given who you're dating I'd say it's par for the course."  
  
"At this point we might as well be married with how often we refer to each other as husband or wife." You mutter. "Speaking of, any luck finding yours?"  
  
Allison scoffs and rewets the towel again, before leaning on the sink. "Oh, I found him alright. Having a damn SJCC meeting without me."  
  
You wince in sympathy. "Yikes. I'm sorry. What did he say?"  
  
"He asked me what I was offered. Acted like I was a...a spy for the cops or the damn FBI! Just started thinking I was some kind of plant! I mean, we've been married for a year, and he just goes and accuses me of this?!" Allison is gripping the sink so tightly her knuckles are turning white. Getting up, you grab her hand and you gently pry her fingers off of it. She looks down and flexes her fingers.   
  
"I can't even explain the rumoring cause...well, how can I? What makes this situation any less crazy without adding "I control minds" to mix. And to add another bag of crazy...I found Luther."  
  
You stiffen at the mention of his name. "Really." Your voice is flat. Expressionless. All you can think about is Luther accusing you of murder. Luther blaming you for not saying anything about knowing the future. Luther pinning you against a pillar and choking you.  
  
Needless to say you aren't filled with happy memories of the big guy. You may have missed him, but that didn't mean you were excited to see him. And if Allison had found him, then tomorrow Five was gonna find all of you.   
  
And that meant a family meeting, and family meetings meant getting more blame tossed on you because you weren't gonna give away all the answers. You don't think you could handle that again.  
  
"[Y/N], He wants you to know he's sorry. He's been here for a year and every day he just thinks about everything you've told him about treating Vanya right, and how...look. I'm not asking you to forgive him, but please. Just...hear him out."  
  
"Allison, he choked me and blamed almost everything going wrong on the fact that I wouldn't give him the answers he wanted. He accused me of patricide. It's gonna take a lot more than "I'm sorry" from Luther to get me to forgive him."  
  
"And I'm not expecting you to. I'm just saying, hear him out. Let him explain himself. He's grown. Like...really grown." Allison bites her lip and smiles slightly and you smirk a little.  
  
"Still holding a torch for him?" you joke and laugh as Allison slaps your shoulder.  
  
"Shut up!" She giggles. Sighing, you lean back on the sink next to Allison and look up. "I can't promise anything, but...I'm willing to hear him out. If he's genuine, and I mean really, _really,_ genuine...I might be able to forgive him."   
  
"And if you found Luther, then tomorrow we'll probably meet up with Five. Annnnd get dragged into a family meeting." you continue.  
  
"You're absolutely certain of that?" Allison asks and you give her a deadpan stare. "Right." She looks down. "Forgot who I was talking to for a moment there. So, scale of one to ten, how bad will this 'family meeting' be?"  
  
"Uhhhh...let's see...nuclear doomsday, Diego wants to actually kill your dad, Vanya has no idea who any of us are...I'd say a solid seven." You nod and It's silent for a moment before the two of break down into giggles.  
  
"Oh, my god." You laugh, "I missed this."  
  
"What, the doomsday time travel?"  
  
"No, just...look, having Klaus and Ben around is amazing, and they are great and wonderful and god help me I'm so glad Ben isn't around to hear any of this, and Klaus is too drunk off his ass to listen in, but it's nice having girl time with someone. I can pass as both genders but sometimes I like to be a girl among girls, you know?" Allison thinks on your words for a moment before an idea pops in her head.  
  
"Well, here..." Allison gets up and leads you out of the bathroom. Your lip still stings, but it's taken a backseat to the bonding session you're currently enjoying. "...There are no men. Here, it's girl time. And seeing as we have three years to make up for," Allison dips into the bedroom for a moment before sticking her head out and pulling out several bottles of nail polish. "Hands or toes?"  
  
Your eyes widen and your face pulls into a grin. "Hands!" You answer and follow Allison into the bedroom.   
  
Tonight, it's a good old fashioned girls night in. Tonight, you can forget about doomsday, cults and death.  
  
Tonight, you can just be yourself. The universe can take a night off for once.


	10. Hello, old timer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reuniting with Five, Placing bets, and Day drinking. Doesn't get more lively than this

**Valhalla Pt 1**   
**Hello, Old timer**

  
You don't recall passing out by the couch last night, but its where you inevitably wake up at the next morning. Looking down, you can see your fingernails and toenails are a lovely shade of dark green, and you smile. Remembering the bonding session you had with Allison last night, you push yourself up and look around for Klaus. You don't see him in the living room, and you get up to make yourself some coffee.  
  
Which is actually where you find Klaus. Passed out by the fridge. And Ben is just...laying there next to him. "Uhh...what are you doing?" You question.  
  
"Waiting for Klaus to wake up. I want this to be the first thing he sees this morning, so he can understand how much of an idiot he was yesterday."  
  
You sigh and nudge Ben out of the way with your foot. "Move, ya dingus. If he's going to wake up with a killer hangover, you're probably gonna be the first thing he throws up on." Ben quickly scrambles back after that, and you grin to yourself. Klaus was many things, a killer dancer, a stylish idiot, a fantastic kisser. But a post-drunk puker was definitely not one of them.  
  
But Ben doesn't need to know that, now does he?  
  
You both turn your head when you hear Klaus wake up with a groan and shift so that he was lying on his back. You shift yourself and move to sit down, with Klaus' head in your lap. "Morning sunshine." You grin sweetly at him and Klaus only groans and turns his head in your lap. "Oh, god. No offence or anything, but your smile is like...way too bright for me right now."  
  
Giggling you start carding your fingers through his long waves and grin when he sighs and nuzzles your waist. "And how are we feeling this morning?" Ben sarcastically asks.  
  
"Oh, peaches and cream. Though the scalp massage is working wonders on my headache. What about you two?"  
  
"My buzz faded hours ago, I actually had an interesting night with your sister, and we had a girls night in." Klaus lets out an offended gasp at that. "A girls night, and you didn't think to invite me?"  
  
"You were passed out on the couch." You point out. Klaus blinks before groaning at the reminder. "Oh, yeah. I forgot."  
  
"This isn't going to become a recurring thing, is it? Cause if so I can just...tether myself to [Y/N] and harass your drunken ass every time you pull this shit." you aren't quite sure if Ben is being serious or not, but you'd love to see him try.  
  
"Yeah, yeah, love you too beetlejuice." Klaus waves Ben off and pushes himself up, moving to sit next to you. and he goes and leans on your shoulder. Pulling out a flask, Klaus takes a swig before handing it to you. You open it up and take a swig.   
  
"You aren't seriously enabling his behavior, are you?" Ben asks, his eyebrow raised. you raise one back, a silent challenge. "Ben, I'm a lot of things, but an enabler is not one of them. Klaus is a grown ass man, and I am a grown ass person, who have been through enough shit to last a lifetime. I'm not gonna let him go overboard, but a little every now and again won't kill us."  
"Not that it even could." Klaus sarcastically points out and you point to him in a 'See?' motion.  
  
"Are you guys arguing with Ben again?" You look over and see Allison in a bath robe, Arms crossed but with a smile on her face. "Oh, just a little bit. Ben's just being dumb." Klaus sticks his tongue out at Ben and he merely smiles and laughs a little. "Is that really necessary?" He asks.  
  
"Yes." You nod.  
  
Allison takes a seat on the opposite side of Klaus and he passes her the flask. "You want some?"  
  
"Klaus, if you're looking for an enabler, look elsewhere." Allison thunks her head on the fridge door. Ben smirks in victory from his position opposite of you.  
  
"Wait for it..." You hold up a finger. "Allison, your marriage is in shambles and your rally turned into a riot. If now isn't the time to do a little drink party!" Klaus sings the last bit just a teensy bit off key. "I don't know when is."  
  
Allison thinks it over for a split second and takes the proffered flask. She takes a swig and you point at Ben with a "There it is."  
  
"I hate you sometimes."  
  
"Love you too, Benny boy."   
  
"So, what happened?" Allison asks. "[Y/N] gave me the quick version last night, but I feel like you've got more to add."  
  
"Oh, where to begin," Klaus starts, "Our claustrophic cult tracked us down, I fell off the wagon and we tried and failed to keep a young closeted gay man - my best friend - from enlisting at a 1963 diner in front of his blatantly closeted uncle. Meanwhile, my moon and stars took a hit for me, and we've both come to the conclusion that knowing the future is a load of garbage." Belching, Klaus passes the flask back to you and you take a swig. Grimacing at the taste, you pass the flask back to Klaus, who takes a swig and passes it back to Allison.  
  
"Well, not in that exact order," you toss out.  
  
"Mmm." Allison grunts with a mouth full of booze. "Aren't we all a group."  
  
"Aren't we all..." You sigh and raise your eyebrows when she tosses the flask to the side. "The hell, Allison? I bought that for him!"  
  
"Atta-girl." Ben praises.  
  
"I have a blender, and some much better booze. So if we're gonna start day drinking, we're gonna do it right!"  
  
You and Klaus glanced at each other, then back to Allison. "Have we ever mentioned how much we love you?" you smile.  
  
"Because we love you, so much!" Klaus lets a happy sob out at that and you go to help Allison set up the blender. All Allison can do is laugh at the absurdity of it all.  
  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
"Wait, wait, wait, so you're telling me you tossed out some video game quotes to these guys, and they bought it like that?!" Three margarita's later you had been regaling Allison about how you and Klaus were able to schmooze your way into a cult leadership.  
  
"Well...that and I just sort of...maybe...."  
  
"You said, and I quote: "'I'm from another universe!' They all took to you after that. Started calling you the "Lunar goddess"." Klaus sips from his glass and you sigh and thunk your head on the table.   
  
"I'm not a goddess." You moan.  
  
"You are to me." Klaus places his hand on your head and you smile from the attention.   
  
"Sweet talker." You mumble. A loud knocking at the door has your head shooting up and leaves you all looking at each other in confusion.  
  
"Calling it now, who is it?" you announce. "My moneys on Five."  
  
"Diego!" Klaus bets. "...Luther?" Allison hopes and you and Klaus stare at her. "Girl, you are married." You point out.  
  
"Hey! I can't be happy to see my brother?" You merely raise an eyebrow at her. "Shut up."  
  
"Alright. 10 bucks, I say Five. 10 bucks, Klaus says Diego, 10 bucks, Allison says Luther. Money on the table." You announce and everyone grabs their wallets and tosses a ten dollar bill on the Dining room table. You grab your drink and move to the door. "I'll get it." You smirk.  
  
Easiest thirty bucks you ever made.  
  
The pounding has gotten more frequent and heavier and by the time you pull open the door, you're worried whoever was knocking would punch a hole in the door.  
  
Any smirk or snappy comeback you may have falls to the wayside when you finally see Five. He looks...well, just the same as you remember him. The same schoolboy outfit, the same coiffed hair, maybe a little bit taller. He looks up at you like he wasn't expecting to even find you here. You look just as flabbergasted. You knew he was the one knocking, you knew he would find you and take you all back to Elliots, but a part of you still thought - even partially hoped - for a moment that it wouldn't happen.  
  
"Five." You whisper. "[Y/N]." Five whispers back. You gently place your drink on the table and move in to hug Five. He meets you half way and you both wrap your arms around eachother. You cradle the back of his head with your hands and he clutches at you like a dying man. You don't know how long the two of you stayed like that for. But you were glad for it. It had been so long since you've seen Five. You weren't technically related to him, but it didn't make him any less your brother.  
  
You have tears running down your face and you hold him tighter. "How long?" He asks.  
  
"Almost Four years. Me and Klaus arrived almost at the same time."  
  
Five pulls away first. "Somehow I'm not surprised." Five gives you a sorrowful look. "I'm sorry. This is my fault, I got you all stuck here."  
  
"Hey, no. No it isn't." You fix Fives hair so that it looks somewhat presentable. "Klaus, Ben and I all knew the risks, and we chose to come here anyways. If anything, you saved us from death by moon rock." You smile at him cheekily. "So, if you're here, I suppose that must mean you found everyone else, then."  
  
"Yeah, yeah I did." Five answers distractedly. He's too busy looking around the room. "This your place?"   
  
"Nah," You grab your drink sitting by the table and wrap your arm around his shoulders. "It's Allison's. But me and Klaus were staying for the night. Come on, we'll get you a drink before we uh, meet up with the others. I think you'll need it."  
  
You lead Five over to the dining room where you're greeted with the sight of Allison and Klaus having some kind of giggle fit. "Are they...?"  
  
"Drunk? Oh yeah."  
  
"Surprised you didn't join them." Five quips and you shrug and take a sip before passing it off to Five, who gladly resumes drinking for you. "Someone has to remain coherent and stable."  
  
"Hey, dorkos, look who says hello!" You hold a hand out towards Five who smirks and takes a sip of Margarita. From the table Klaus and Allison groan and flop their heads on the surface.  
Five raises an eyebrow. "Wow. Feeling the love."   
  
"Nah, they missed you Five." You grab the thirty bucks sitting on the table. "They're just upset they lost the bet." Fives expression is incredulous and irritated but there's a sense of amusement underneath it all. Like he's happy he's even getting to have this conversation in the first place.  
  
"You guys BET on when I would show up?" Five demands. You scoff and shake your head. "Pfft. No, of course not!"  
  
"Oh, good."   
  
"We bet WHO would show up." You continue. Klaus groans from his place on the table "I was so SURE it would be Diego!"  
  
"He's entertaining company right now." Five explains.  
  
"Awwww, why couldn't you have been Luther?" Allison whines. "Because he's getting Vanya. Any more inane questions?" Five's brow twitches with the force of not murdering his siblings and you have to hide your smile behind your hand.  
  
"Wait, Vanya?! You found her?" Allison gasps at the name and her eyes light up. "Hang on, I just need..." Allison slowly stands up and grabs a bottle of wine sitting on the counter top, and tosses Klaus his flask. "There!" She declares. "Let's go!"  
  
"Finally!" Five declares and downs the rest of his drink in one gulp. You grab Klaus' hand and the four of you follow Five. You've been keeping a pretty happy facade this whole time, but you won't lie and say you aren't nervous.   
  
"Hey," Klaus whispers, "What's ringing through that gorgeous brain of yours?"   
  
"I'm worried this will turn out with me getting the blame pinned on me again." you confide and Klaus taks his hand out of yours and throws it around your waist. "Understandable, but remember what I told you before, all you have to do is say the word and we can leave."  
  
"I..." Before you can respond you hear Five call out "Enough with the lollygagging! Lets move!"  
  
You turn your head. "Don't you just want to slap him sometimes?"   
  
"You missed him, shut up." Klaus smiles and you laugh, tucking yourself under his arm.   
  
Klaus was right, you did miss him. You just aren't sure if everybody else is going to have the same reaction.


	11. Family meeting with a dash of salt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We reunite with everyone, Luther and Diego share one consecutive brain cell, and we place the cards on the table. No holding back.

**Valhalla Pt 2**   
**Family meeting with a dash of salt**

  
"I'm telling you, the French had this wonderful word for it!" Klaus was regaling Allison of his time in France with you last year, and when you all came upon Elliots shop, you had completely forgotten why it is you were nervous in the first place. You grab Klaus' flask and take a sip. Allison laughs as Five pulls open the door and you all enter. You move to go in last, making sure to hold the door open for Ben. "Thanks." He murmurs.   
  
"No problem. Hey." You snap your fingers to get his attention "You know I'm not going to let anything bad happen to Klaus, right?" you enquire, making sure Ben was fully aware. "I know, I just...I see him drinking and I can't help but think..." Ben bites his lip and looks over at Klaus, laughing and joking with Allison.  
  
"It's a slippery slope, yeah. But I'm not gonna let him slide down it. We know our limits, okay? We just...need time. Sobriety isn't gonna be a one and done deal. It takes time." With that you leave Ben to ponder on your words and move up beside Klaus.  
  
"Le petit mort. Le petit mort!" Klaus was saying and you giggled at the horrible pronunciation. "What? You don't even speak French!" Allison laughs.  
  
"No, no, it's 'The little death!'" Klaus clarifies and the three of you giggle as you look around the room. "Oh, wow." He breathes. "Look at all this old stuff." Looking up you can see the Faces of Diego, Luther, and Vanya. With Elliot. You gulp, and slap Klaus on the chest and point up.  
  
"Oh, wow." Klaus pulls off his sunglasses and rests them on your head. "I know this is impossible, but did we all...get sexier?"  
  
You can't help but agree. "Vanya." Allison breathes. Vanya just chuckles in disbelief. "I can't believe I have 2 sisters." You want to correct her, say technically a sister and a non-gender conforming sibling, but you know what? This is too happy of an occasion for you to be correcting anyone. You slink off to the corner of the room with Ben, and let everyone have their little moment.  
  
"Figured you would be up there." Ben notes and shrugging, you take a swig of the flask you had snagged from Klaus earlier. "It's...not really my reunion. Plus I don't know how much any of these idiots actually missed me."  
  
"Five missed you." he points out.  
  
"Five is an exception to the rule. He's known me for 45 years, of course he'd be happy to see me. Allison is just glad I make Klaus happy, but Luther, Diego and Vanya? Pfft." You shake your head and look over at them, hugging and smiling and having a happy moment together. "One doesn't even know me, and the other two probably have mixed feelings."  
  
You take another swig. "They'd probably be happier if I wasn't here to screw things up." You add bitterly. Nodding and pursing his lips, Ben mutters under his breath, "Okay, that's it." And shouts for Klaus to hear: "Hey moron! Look who hasn't joined the festivities!"  
  
Klaus looks over at Ben and his eyes widen at the sight of you frantically slapping Ben in the arm as he laughs and blocks any incoming attacks. "[Y/N]! What are you doing over there? Come join the hug!" And Klaus pulls you into the group hug he, Allison and Vanya were a part of. Vanya's arms wrap around you and you feel Klaus give you a kiss on the top of your head. This feeling of being wanted...it's almost intoxicating.  
  
"Klaus." Five calls out. "Is Ben here?"  
  
"Huh? Oh, yeah he's uh..." Klaus points to the corner you were standing in a moment ago, and vaguely points in Bens direction.  
"Tell them I miss them!" Ben shouts.  
  
"He says he misses you all, so much." You say and it's silent for a moment while everyone processes this. From the corner of your eye you can see Luther and Diego talking quietly to themselves and pointing to you every so often.   
  
"All right then, Let's get down to business." Five says after a moment and walks upstairs. Everyone moves to follow him but Luther and Diego and you let Klaus go on ahead. "So, Vanny, what's new?"  
Allison stands off to side and keeps an eye on the three of you just staring each other down. She doesn't know if she'll need to intervene but if things go sideways it never hurts to have a spotter.  
"One of you is gonna have to say something eventually." You remark and cross your arms.  
  
"So...How have you been?" Luther starts and rubs the back of his neck. Sighing, you roll your eyes and pinch the bridge of your nose. "I've been...well I can't say its "Awesome" but having Klaus and Ben certainly makes it suck less."  
  
"Good. Good." Luther nods his head.  
  
Its another minute of awkward silence and by this point everyone upstairs is staring down at the three of you, waiting to see what'll happen next.  
  
"Look, one of you is gonna have to say something at some point. I know that put together you two have one functioning brain cell at least, so why don't you give it to Luther so that he can say what it is he needs to say." Your words are harsh and Luther winces and looks down.  
  
"Here's a question, why is Diego there? Last time I checked he agreed with you on almost everything regarding the apocalypse back in 2019." Ben walks up next to you and you look over at him nodding.  
  
"Ben has a surprisingly good point." Everyone but Klaus looks at you confused. What did Ben say? "Why ARE you down here, Diego?"  
  
"To make sure you get something you're owed." Diego points to you and looks at Luther. "Say it." He urges.  
  
"I...look, in 2019 I said some things, I'm not necessarily proud of." Luther begins, you scoff and add "Understatement of the millennium" under your breath. "AND...I did some things-things to you that I'm not proud of either. And I wanted to say...I'm sorry."  
  
"For what?" You question. "Was it for...accusing me of murder? For not saying what happened in the show? For strangling me because I knew about you being on the moon for no reason?" Five looks about ready to murder Luther for that one, as his "HE DID WHAT?!" is echoed all around the room. "Maybe it was because I wasn't able to stop what happened to Allison. Maybe, it was because despite all your demanding and posturing of being the LEADER, I COULDN'T GIVE YOU THE ANSWERS YOU WANTED. So please, Luther. Tell me EXACTLY what you're sorry for. Because I'd love to hear it!"   
  
With every instance where the blame got tossed onto you, more eyes landed on Luther, until the whole room was staring at him. And it was for good reason. This was nearly four years worth of built up rage and aggression at being Luther's whipping boy. He needed to be held accountable and understand what he did was wrong.  
  
"All of it! Everything! Alright? I'm sorry for-for everything!" Luther shouts. "I screwed up, big time! I was jealous of your relationship with Klaus, and instead of maybe trying to get to know you, I treated you like a social pariah. You tried to help where you could, and instead of appreciating the fact that you tried at all, I only told you it wasn't good enough. You saved Allison, looked for me when I was drunk off my ass, comforted me but I-I treated you so much like dad treated us, And I'm sorry. I am, truly, truly sorry. I know you probably hate me, and I don't blame you. But I just wanted to say that I am...sincerely sorry. Please, you have to believe me." Luther's voice goes quiet at the end and you look down at your shoes.   
  
Truth is, you didn't hate him. He was an idiot, sure, but you didn't hate him. You always knew everything he did was in his families best interests, so you couldn't fault him for that. So the fact that he acknowledged the fact that he treated you like shit was nice. The apology even nicer.  
  
But you were still getting revenge on him for choking you.  
  
"[Y/N]?" Luther tentatively asks and you slowly look up, eyes electric blue and a wicked smile on your face. "Oh, shi-" Was all he was able to get out before a blue shockwave comes out of you and knocks Luther back several feet. He crashes into a display case full of TVs and everyone collectively winces and goes "Ooohh!"  
  
Elliot can only clutch his head, pulling out little strands of hair as he watched his livelihood get smashed by a hulking ape-man.  
  
You slowly walk over to Luther, eyes still blue and you look down at him. Heaving and panting, Luther can only look up at you, and accepts whatever punishment you have in store and closes his eyes.  
  
"Open your eyes and grab my hand, ya dingus." Luther's eyes pop open and he looks at you, holding out your hand with a smile on your face, eyes back to their normal color. Grabbing your hand, Luther pulls himself back up you wrap your arms around his neck in a hug.  
  
"I don't hate you, Luther." You whisper. "I could never hate you. I just wanted you to understand how much of an ass you were, and apologize. That's all."  
  
Slowly, Luther brings his arms around you and gently squeezes back, making sure to be mindful of his strength. "I figured, after everything I did..." He began and you softly laughed at him. "Dude, come on. We're family, remember? I'm not gonna hate you."  
  
Luther lets a smile grace his face before a loud throat clearing startles the two of you. "As touching as this is, we DO have a meeting to keep?" The two of you look over at Five who's gesturing behind him with an annoyed look on his face.  
  
"Eheheheh...sorry." You grin up at him and he can't help but roll his eyes and fondly smile at you.   
  
You let Luther walk upstairs and go to follow Diego as he and Allison walk upstairs as well. "Missed you, Dude." You playfully punched Diego in the shoulder and he just rolls his eyes and pulls you into a side hug. "Yeah, yeah, missed you too. Going for the feminine look, I see." He eyes the floral dress and leather jacket you opted to wear for today's journey with a smirk on his face.  
Looking Diego up and down as you walk up the stairs, you respond with "Going for the caveman look, I see. What, they didn't have barbers in the local nuthouse?" His smirk is quickly replaced with a scowl.  
  
"Of course you would know about that." Diego mutters. "What else did you know?"  
  
"So, so much, mi compadre." You breathe and look around, "I don't see Lila, please tell me you aren't..."  
  
Diego pulls a disgusted face as the two of you reach the top of the stairs. "No, no. God no. We're just...well, I THOUGHT we were friends, but she..."  
  
"Hey, numbnuts. Can we get this started?" Five's face is annoyed beyond belief that he has to interrupt you AGAIN, in less than Five minutes just so he can have this stupid meeting in the first place.  
"Damn, can't let me talk to nobody..." You mutter petulantly and take another swig from your flask before passing it back to Klaus and standing next to him.  
  
"All right." Five begins, "First off, I wanna say I'm sorry. I know I really screwed the pooch on this whole, going back in time and getting stuck thing. But the real kick in the pants here is we brought the end of the world back here with us."  
  
"Oh, no, what a shocker." Klaus moans dramatically before snorting and giggling. He points to you. "You called it ages ago, remember? 'By the time Five finds us we'll have like a week left to live'? Oooh..." Klaus pulls an upset face at that revelation. "Our cult is gonna be pissed. We told them they had until 2019."  
  
"I don't know why I'm even shocked that you knew about this, [Y/N]." Luther remarks and Vanya just stares at you confused. "Wait, you know the future?"  
"I...well...it's complicated..." You flounder for an answer that doesn't sound batshit crazy.  
  
"[Y/N] was mostly right. We have until Monday. We have six days." Five interrupts.   
  
"Is it Vanya?" Klaus asks. "Klaus!" Allison reprimands.  
  
"What? It's usually Vanya."   
  
"Do you have any leads, Five?" Vanya chooses to ignore the accusation and turns her head toward Five. "Yeah." Five agrees, "We have one."  
  
He places a file on the table, and on the cover is a picture of their Dad, standing on the grassy knoll. Your fists unconsciously clench at the sight of the man who brought you to this place and you feel your jaw harden.  
  
Allison picks up the file. "Holy shit is that dad?"  
  
"Yeah." Diego says.  
  
"That's him?" Vanya thought he would be more...homey.  
  
"Standing on the grassy knoll."  
  
"Diego and I have been trying to talk to dad about what exactly this means. So far we've got nothing." Fay says, shaking his head in frustration.  
  
"Not nothing." Diego interjects. "He's planning to kill Kennedy."  
  
"Maybe." Five acquiesces. "But we don't know know who or what sets doomsday in motion. Could be Kennedy, could be something entirely independant. But we know if something changes the Timeline, we have to make it right." You had moved to pull out a chair from the kitchen and plopped down in it, with Klaus coming up behind you and draping his arms over your shoulders. You started playing with his fingers, just waiting to hear those inevitable words you KNEW were coming.  
  
"Yeah, but how are we supposed to fix it if we don't know what's broken?" Allison points out.  
  
"Come on, do the math." Diego urges. "We know dad's having shady-ass meetings with some shady-ass people. We know he's on the grassy knoll in three days to kill the president. So I think we all know what we have to do." He moves to stand behind Five before they speak at the same time:  
  
"Find Dad."  
"Kill Dad."  
  
All you can do is sigh deeply and lean your head back so it touches the back of the chair, closing your eyes.  
  
"None of us are supposed to be here, right?" Vanya thinks out loud, "I mean, what if it's us? Has anyone here done anything to screw up the timeline?"  
  
It's silent, everyone looking at each other guiltily. You roll your eyes and bite your lip slightly, shaking your head.  
  
"Diego's stalking Lee Harvey Oswald!" Luther explodes.  
  
"And YOU'VE been working for Jack Ruby!" Diego counters.  
  
Klaus points at Allison, "Allison has been very involved in local politics."  
  
"Okay, YOU TWO started a cult!" she throws out. "Thank you!" Ben adds from his corner of the room. Klaus hisses like a cat and makes a vague claw motion with his hand that wasn't being used. You just roll your eyes, again.  
  
"I'm...I'm just a nanny on a farm. I don't have anything to do with all of that." Vanya meekly gets out. "Well, maybe you do, you just don't know it yet." Allison counters and Diego lets out a sharp whistle to get everyone's attention. "Listen to yourselves. Everything in our new lives is connected to Kennedy. That can't be a coincidence. Luther works for Ruby, Allison is protesting the government, Dad is on the grassy knoll, Klaus and [Y/N] are probably doing something...weird and pervy and somehow tied to knowing the future. But probably related." You scoff at Diego.  
  
"See, clearly we were all sent back here for one special reason." Diego normally has a braincell. You say normally cause when you suggested giving it to Luther earlier he must have thought you were serious. Cause now... "Saving John Fitzgerald Kennedy." ...He has none. At all. Zip, zilch, nada.  
  
The whole room explodes into chaos. Siblings arguing, and you and Five being the only ones not willing to deal with their shit right now. You can see him flashing back to his family fighting soviet soldiers, and getting nuked, and god knows where you were in that. Diego's "This is bigger than all of us!" Is what finally sets you off.   
  
"ENOUGH!" Your sudden shout and standing straight up causes the whole room to go silent.  
  
"I don't think you realize the severity of the situation we are in right now. Five?" You snap your fingers and Five can only utter out a "Guys, you all die." His voice cracks a little at the end. "I was there, I saw it. And I wanna forget it, but I can't." Five's gaze turns to you suddenly. "I saw my best friend lying dead in the rubble and Russian nukes vaporize the world with all of you in it. In a war that never happened until we brought it here." He turns his head and looks around the room but you can't focus. You...died? Like dead-dead?  
  
"And Hazel gave his life to save us so you may need to shut up and just listen to me. I don't know if the things we've experienced here are all connected. I don't know if there's a reason for everything. But Dad will. We need to talk to him before everything and everyone we know is dead." Okay no. You're out. Fuck this, Fuck that, Fuck you, and Fuck that idea in particular.  
  
"Okay, I'm out." Luther smiles sarcastically and gets up out of his chair. "Yeah, i'm out too. Sorry." You wave off and Five just looks between the two of you. "Did you two even hear me?" He demands. You look to Luther before looking back at Five. "Yeah, yeah, I did. I heard a 58 year old man who still wants his daddy to come and save everything. You can count me out. It's time we all grew the hell up."  
  
"Yeah, and you're seriously suggesting I get near a mile of the asswipe who kidnapped me from my old universe and threw me into this one? WITHOUT killing him? Nu-uh." You stumble closer to Five and lean in close to him. "You wanna know what'll happen if you do this? Nothing. Nothing will happen." Five has an expresionless look on his face and it kills you to know he doesn't believe you. _'He probably thinks I'm drunk off my ass right now.'_  
  
"Well, hold on, If [Y/N] knows what's going to happen, why don't we just use that? We know all the answers, we can just use that as a cheat sheet." Vanya suggests. You scoff and throw your hands up as everyone shouts "NO!"  
  
"What? Why not?" Vanya asks.  
  
"Last time we tried that, nobody listened to them and the world went to shit anyways." Diego points out and you turn and point at him. "Exactly!" You shout.  
  
"And knowing the future doesn't mean you can give the answers out. You just end up keeping secrets from your family so they aren't hurt with the knowledge." Luther remarks and leans on the railing.   
  
"They aren't a walking fortune cookie." Klaus mutters bitterly and you're reminded of all the people in your cult who expected knowledge of the future from you.  
  
"Sometimes, it's better being in the dark." Allison takes a swig of the wine she had brought with her.  
  
"And to be frank, they don't have knowledge of these events. They only knew the events of the 2019 apocalypse." Five's words make you cringe and shrink down into yourself a bit.  
  
"That...isn't entirely true." You quietly point out. Five narrows his eyes at you. "What do you mean?" He demands. In response you merely point to Allison and Klaus who say in unison,  
  
"Show had a second season." you bite your lip and go "Oops?" to Five.  
  
Five glares at you. "And you didn't think to mention this sooner?" He hisses. Shrugging your shoulders you move back to Klaus and sit back down. "You never asked. And be honest, would you have believed me?"  
  
"Yes! Yes I would have!"  
  
You can only shake your head and scoff in irritation. "Oh, like you believed me about everything else?" It brings Five up short and he can only stare at you with a wide eyed look of shock. Nobody moves a muscle. They're all entranced by this argument going on between the two of you. You lean forward, hands on your knees. "Every warning I gave you, you all casually brushed aside. Every. Single. One. And this is what happened. So if you want a proper warning? An actual hint? A cheat sheet? Fine. But it's the only one you're all gonna get. And if you don't listen to it? If you choose to ignore it? Then It's all on your head."  
  
You grab the flask and take a large swig before passing it back to Klaus. "Give up on this stupid ass idea that Reginald is gonna help you. He's only gonna make you all feel like kids again, and you're just gonna relive every traumatic event you endured growing up for his fucking amusement."  
  
You gesture to Diego. "Dude, you gotta give up this ridiculous notion that JFK can be saved. Cause he can't. His death is meant to happen, like it or not. And lastly..."  
  
You sit up and point to Vanya. "Keep her away from the FBI." 


	12. An explosion three years coming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 4 years worth of pent up anger, frustration and humiliation builds up and boils over. Unfortunately it lands on the wrong person.

**Valhalla Pt 3**   
**An explosion three years coming**

  
"Okay. I'm done here." Luther pushes himself off the railing and walks downstairs and ignores everyone's pleas to come back. You scoff and lean back in your chair. "You can't say I didn't warn them." You murmur and Klaus kisses the top of your head affectionately.  
  
"You did, it's on them if they don't listen." He mumbles against your hair. Inhaling deeply, Klaus suddenly stands up straight. "You know, I could really go for some Tacos. Allison, Vanya, [Y/N], tacos?"  
  
"Shouldn't we wait for them?" Allison asks and Klaus waves her off with a smile. "Ahh, you know those guys, it could take ages for them to bro it out. Vanya, Tacos?"   
  
"Is there any way that Taco's are gonna cause the end of the world?" Vanya asks, with a small smile on her face. "I don't know, let's ask our resident universe hopper." You stiffen slightly as Klaus places his hand on your shoulder. "[Y/N], are tacos gonna cause the end of the world?"  
  
"No, and I would appreciate it if you didn't use my knowledge of the future as a joke." You brush his hand off and quickly get up, almost running downstairs and brushing past Elliot. Slamming open the door, you blink at the sunlight and sigh deeply before walking outside the Alley.  
  
"[Y/N], Wait!" You turn around to see Klaus running towards you. You scoff and turn back around. "Don't, Klaus. I'm not in the mood."  
  
"No, please." He huffs. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that. It was a stupid joke."  
  
"You're right it WAS stupid." You stop abruptly and turn around, almost smacking into him. "All that shit I said about nobody listening to me, and then..." You shake your head and look off to the side, "You know, I half expected it from Five, hell, even Luther or Diego. But not you! You know, you've been doing this for days now, ever since we got back to Dallas."  
  
"Doing what?" Klaus asks. "Mocking my knowledge, or my involvement in the cult, or constantly bringing up the fact that I'm forced to present as the gender I was born with, not the gender I feel on a daily basis."  
  
"What, and you think I don't feel the same?" His words are quiet, calm. Said with a certainty that makes you think he knew you'd blow up like this eventually.  
  
"No! I-I just..." raking your hands through your hair, you spin in a circle and throw your head back. "I want to be taken seriously. Just once. That's all!"  
  
"I DO take you seriously!"  
  
"I meant them!" You point behind Klaus to Allison and Vanya, who were watching with rapt interest. "YOU aren't the problem. THEY are! Nobody takes me seriously and when they do, it's to blame me for...I can't do this Klaus." You bite down hard on your fist, trying to keep the tears at bay. You raise your voice so that the other two can hear you.  
  
"I am NOT the goddess everyone thinks I am. I am NOT the ultimate cheat sheet. I am NOT a personal punching bag every time something goes wrong in someone's life." You snatch the flask from Klaus.  
  
"I am just a pansexual idiot! I was born a girl who happens to feel like a boy some days! And I..." you take a huge gulp from the flask, "...am just trying to get by with the idiot I love in a universe that CLEARLY despises me despite being from another universe that ALSO despises me! THAT'S what I am!"  
  
And with that you storm off to Odessa's, not caring that Klaus had yet to move, or that Ben ran off after you, glancing behind him to only say "I'll keep watch, don't worry."  
  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
You glance to your left to see Ben walking beside you, easily keeping pace. "Ben, I swear, now is not the time. If you're here to try and bring me back..."  
  
"I'm not!" Ben holds his hands out in surrender. "I'm here to make sure you don't do anything stupid."  
  
"Oh, stupid." You scoff. "Like what?"  
  
"Like walking away from the one thing that keeps you from seeing horrific visions of the dead."  
  
You stop dead in your tracks. "Oh." you suppose you didn't think much about that at the time.  
  
"Yeah, oh." Ben moves to stand in front of you. "You see, you've been spending this whole time thinking everyone else was the problem, when the truth is you can't stop for five minutes and just THINK. You act first and ask questions later. You didn't stop and think Klaus was trying to make you feel better by joking about you being a walking fortune teller. Yes, it was poorly timed, but it's the thought that counts!" You groan at Bens words and rub your face with your hands.  
  
"God, I'm an idiot."  
  
"Yes. Yes you are." Ben agrees and you glare at him, muttering under your breath, "What is it with people agreeing with me only when I say self-deprecating remarks?"  
  
"Because it's the truth! Vanya has amnesia, Allison's marriage is in a crisis, and Klaus ALSO has your cult, not to mention YOU to worry about. Plus Dave! On top of which you basically told Vanya to stay away from the FBI WITHOUT giving her a reason why! YOU AREN'T. **THINKING**!"  
  
"WELL WHAT ELSE AM I SUPPOSED TO SAY?! DON'T GET INTO A RELATIONSHIP WITH THE FIRST PERSON TO GIVE A DAMN ABOUT HER?!"   
  
You shouldn't be blowing up like this. Especially to someone who understands powerlessness as much as you do. But you are just so damn tired of people telling you you're wrong, that you aren't doing anything right. This is nearly four years of pent up frustration and pain bubbling over and you can't help who it spills onto. Grabbing Ben's arm, you pull him off into a side alley away from the prying eyes of everyone giving you weird looks.  
  
"Look," You sigh, "I'm sorry. I'm not...I didn't mean to blow up on you, or Klaus or anyone, but this is...almost four years of worth of bullshit that I've had to silently endure. And i've tried. Believe me, I've tried to stop and just think but..."  
  
"After a while you just stop thinking about what everyone else has to say, because they didn't offer you the same courtesy." Ben finishes for you. You look over to see a look of understanding in the ghosts eyes. "You think I didn't endure the same thing growing up?" Ben starts mocking his younger siblings voices, high pitched and squeaky. "' _Oh Ben you gotta lift your shirt, your tentacle monster is the only thing that can finish the mission!'_ _'Ben, you gotta do this, Dad wants you to, it's part of your training!'_ _'Wow, Ben, at least you aren't called " The Kraken!"'_ " Ben scoffs bitterly. "Yeah cause being called "The Horror" was way better."  
  
"I didn't realize you felt like that." you note. "Yeah, well, nobody would, would they? I died before I could really say anything to them about it. And now that they know I'm here, it's like...they aren't seeing the real me. Just a version that they have imprinted onto their minds."  
  
"Yeah...another instance where I didn't think things through. I made you corporeal long enough for them to see you, but only the version they want to see. Not the real you." You begin to make your way back to the hair salon, Ben quickly falling into step beside you.   
  
"I'm going back to Odessa's." You say. "I need to apologize. To Klaus, to Vanya and Allison. They didn't deserve that. They're just as much a victim as me."  
  
Before Ben can respond the two of you are stopped by a large, heavyset police officer.  
  
"Afternoon, ma'am." He notes, grin covering his face. "Hello...?" You slowly lean your head back so his face wasn't so close to yours.  
  
"I heard y'all talking about a...Klaus?" Your face quickly goes neutral.  
  
"Depends. Why do you want to know?"   
  
"Well, he has a warrant out for his arrest on falsifying documentation on his taxes. If you have any info on him and would like to...make an anonymous tip..." You hold your hand up to stop him.  
"No thank you. The man you're referring to isn't the one I know." You knew he was a tax evader but a tax FRAUD too? What else did the show not describe about characters?   
  
You side-step past him and he quickly grabs your arm. "See, I think you're wrong there. Cause you fit the description of someone who was seen with him. During a riot just the other day, in fact. Involved in the death of an officer? Ringing any bells?"   
  
"Look, I'm telling you it isn't..." You turn your head to refute the accusation but instead of the officers face, all you see is a grotesque elongated face. His jaw unhinged like a snake and blood running down the sides of his face. His eyes are gone, all that's left are bloody sockets and his head twitches every now and then. You feel his arm tighten against you to a point where it became unbearably painful.  
  
"Kllllaaaauuuussss...." It moans and you have to cringe back from him getting so close to your face. "Let go of me!" You cry out. Nobody notices, nobody sees you, or hears what's going on.  
What the hell is happening?  
  
Suddenly the monster...ghost...thing lets go of you and you quickly back up. Looking up, you see Ben holding a pipe he had gotten a hold of somehow and quickly bashed it over the things head. He quickly drops it and grabs your hand. "Let's go!"  
  
Together you ran for what felt like hours until you came upon Odessa's hair salon. You place your hands on your knees and quickly try to catch your breath. Ben is thankfully more composed, phasing through the door to unlock it from the inside and let you in. You quickly rush in and slam the door shut, locking it for good measure. You back up and let yourself fall into a chair in exhaustion. "Where is everyone?" Ben wonders.  
  
"Probably getting tacos, or something." You mumble and bring your knees up to your chest. Letting your head fall back, you look up to the ceiling. "Fuck, I forgot how terrifying that is."  
You give yourself a moment to rest, Ben taking a seat next to you, rubbing your shoulder comfortingly. "Shit, I hate this." You groan.  
  
Before Ben can respond the door jingles open and you jump up, karate chopping the air in shock.  
  
Klaus, Allison and Vanya all walk in, carrying bags of tacos and wine. "[Y/N]? How did you...? The door was locked!" Allison looks between you and the door, trying to figure out how you got in. You merely point to Ben. "Ben."  
  
"Hi." He waves.   
  
"He says Hi." You eye the bottle of wine in Allison's hand. "Is that wine?"  
  
Not giving her a chance to answer, you quickly grab the bottle and start chugging. You don't bother trying to taste whatever flavor it is, you just want to be as drunk as possible so you can forget what you witnessed.  
  
"Woah, woah, woah. Slow down there, speed demon." Klaus grabs the bottle and hands it back to Allison. You whine and make grabby hands, to which Allison only laughs and walks past you, taking a seat.  
  
"Hey." Klaus brushes a strand of hair behind your ear and cradles your cheek. "You okay? You look like you've seen a..." Your unimpressed look draws Klaus up short. "...Oh. How bad?"  
  
"Bad." Is all you can reply with. "I just wanna forget it ever happened."   
"You see what happens when you storm off before thinking?" Ben remarks. Glaring, you flip him off and mutter "Piss off."  
  
Klaus gently leads you over to a chair over by the table and sets you down in the seat. "I'm sorry," You moan. "I didn't mean to blow up on you all. I'm just..."  
  
"Sick of being not taken seriously?" Allison remarks.  
  
"Yes! That. Exactly."  
  
"I'm sorry." Vanya looks down, ashamed. "I didn't know that was such a sore subject for you. And I was just confused about the whole, FBI thing, and-"  
  
"No, Nonononono." You wave her off and she looks at you in shock. "It's so not your fault. This is almost 4 years worth of tension build up at this point." You look over at Klaus who took the seat next to you. "I really am sorry, you know. I've been such an ass to you."  
  
You let your head flop down onto his shoulder and Klaus just laughs and slowly pets your hair. "Hey, Its okay. I'm not upset. I probably should have realized that joke was in poor taste."  
  
"It's over an done with. Can we please just move on now? I want to forget the bad, and keep the good, and forget the universe has it out for me for just one day..."  
  
"We could make complaints about the people we know." Allison suggests. "Because I've got a few I'd like to vent about."  
  
You and Klaus and Vanya glance at each other before shrugging. "Works for me." You shrug and grab a beer from the bag, letting Allison's words fill the silence while you and Klaus lean on each other.  
  
You might be here a while.


	13. Twistin the night away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Facing your cult, drowning your sorrows in booze and having a dance party. Not necessarily in that order

**Valhalla Pt 4**   
**Twistin the night away**

  
About 2 hours later, Allison was still on a warpath, raging about her husbands lack of trust. She had already given Klaus a trim and was now giving you a hard cut, making sure your hair was short enough that you'd feel comfortable no matter what gender you went as that day, so she opted for a shoulder length cut with some layering on the sides.  
  
"The nerve of that man." Allison ranted. "I mean, one thing goes wrong and he's on a warpath." You lean away from where Allison was waving the scissors around and she forcibly moves your head back. "I mean, Doesn't know who I am? No, no Ray. You know exactly who I am. You just can't handle it." Vanya was making little "pew pew" noises from her chair and Klaus was smoking a cigarette in the chair next to you.  
  
"I'm protecting him." You move your head back again when the scissors get a little too close to your face, and she pushes your head back.   
  
"Ow, from what, though?" you ask.  
  
"The end of the world for one."  
  
"Is the world really gonna end in six days?" Vanya questions and you make a so-so motion with your hand.  
  
"Well, it did last time and we did everything Five and [Y/N] could think of to stop it." _'No, you didn't.'_ you want to correct Allison but you don't have it in you to say that right now.   
  
Not with Vanya sitting right there. She'd ask questions, and you didn't want to deal with that level of interrogation.  
  
"And why do I need to keep away from the FBI?" Vanya tilts her head to the side, like a puppy. You snort and take a swig of the flask Klaus refilled for you, and turn your chair around before passing it back to him. "Because of the LSD."   
  
"The what?" Everyone asks in unison, even Ben who'd been happily reading a book off in the corner. "The LSD. Makes your powers go AWOL and you nearly cause WWIII after blowing up the FBI building." Everyone just stares at you. "They have that?" Vanya breathes.  
  
"Yeah, you didn't know? The U.S government was big on using psychotropic drugs in the 60's. Just ask Klaus." You point to the man in question and he nods solemnly. "LSD trips are bad...just, throwing it out there." Klaus stands up and grabs the wine bottle to refill his flask again. "Hey, wouldn't it be weird if Five grew up all hot?"  
  
"Oh! Why would you say that! EW!" Allison retches and Vanya just gags a little at the mental image.  
  
"Oh, ew! EW!" Klaus mocks. "Please, Miss "Luther was my lover!"" and he starts making little kissy noises.  
  
"Okay, we have never even kissed!" You and Klaus giggle silently to yourselves. You had told him what had happened during the day that wasn't and how Luther and Allison finally shared that kiss, only for it to be taken away.  
  
"Yeah, but you guys were making sick little moon-dog eyes at each other all through puberty and breakfasts and all that."  
  
"Oh, stop it, Klaus. Let her have her school girl crush." You bemoan.  
  
"Aren't we all like...brothers and sisters... or?" Vanya looks confused and Allison's "Well, technically..." Doesn't really help matters much. Klaus snorts and tries not to laugh.  
  
"Oh, technically? If you have to word...use the word technically, you're already in trouble!" Klaus looks over at you and giggles. You snort and stand up, letting Allison sit in your chair while you move to stand beside Klaus.  
  
"Oh, and what about you two?" Allison accuses.  
  
You and Klaus glance at each other. "What about us?" You both ask. "That is so cool." Vanya quietly remarks.  
  
"[Y/N] is technically Number Eight, so they're just as much a sibling as me and Luther, which makes your relationship just as bad, if not worse!" Allison has a self satisfied grin on her face, which quickly falls when you and Klaus crack up and start laughing, leaning on each other for balance. "What?"  
  
"Your dad didn't ever adopt me, he KIDNAPPED ME! I had parents! Shit parents, but they were still parents!" You cackle.  
  
"Yeah, and-and the fact that he called them Number eight didn't mean anything. We weren't raised together! Hell, we only knew each other for a few months before we started "fake dating"!" You and Klaus look over at Vanya and she giggles along with you guys.  
  
"Okay, can...can we focus?" Allison tries to steer the conversation back. "I mean, clearly we're not saving the world tonight, but maybe, maybe, we could at least try and save my marriage?"  
  
"No!" Klaus denies. "No, because that's like...like trying to ask a nun, how to hump someone's leg." Klaus grabs onto your shoulder and dry humps you a little. You just giggle and push him back slightly.  
"I mean, who in this room, knows shit about relationships? This one?" he points to Vanya, "In secret love with some Farm Frau-"  
  
"Her names Sissy!" Vanya throws out there. "And she is amazing." You assert. Vanya smiles at the compliment.  
  
"-Which is an improvement on her previous love interest, the serial killer. Ow!" You smack the back of Klaus' head, and whatever smile Vanya had is quickly replaced with a confused "What?"  
  
"Later." Allison mouths.  
  
"Meanwhile, I'm madly in love with a non-gender conforming pansexual from 2020 in an alternate universe, who knows us all from a comic turned television series." Vanya looks really confused at that and you cringe and try to avoid her gaze. "Long story." You mutter.  
  
"And Luther is...in love with his sister."  
  
"Okay, again, we are NOT biological!" Allison Asserts.  
  
"Face it, the healthiest long term relationship in this family is when Five was banging that mannequin!" Vanya just looks bewildered at what shenanigans her family is apart of. Allison just looks done with everything and flops her head back.  
  
"The only thing the Umbrella Academy knows about love...is how to screw it up!" Klaus finishes, holding his flask up in the air.  
  
"BULLSHIT!" Allison cries out and you all look over at her. "What?" Klaus asks.  
  
"I said...bullshit! You two are quite possibly the healthiest relationship I've ever seen from this family of whackjobs." Allison points between the two of you. "How so?" Klaus asks.  
  
"I've only seen you argue properly ONCE, and even then you talked about it afterwards and apologized. You don't fight, you aren't hateful, it's like...you're best friends, more than you are lovers."  
  
"Isn't...that what a relationship should be?" You tilt your head to the side confusingly, and Allison doesn't really have an answer for that one. Cause that's what it should be, but given how Allison has been brought up her basis on love is probably a bit skewed.  
  
"How do you guys deal with this?" Vanya wonders. "What?" Allison questions.  
  
"I mean all of it. The time travel, the seeing the dead, the end of the world..."  
  
Klaus moves to sit at the table and you go and stand beside him,  
"Well, I get really high, [Y/N] here takes every punch or bullet meant for someone else and doesn't think of the consequences of their actions-" You push against his head teasingly, "-Allison...Allison...lies to herself," In response Allison kicks the chair she had been using as a footstool over to Klaus and you grab it and sit down. "Cheers." You remark.  
  
"And you supress all your emotions deep, deep down until you...blow shit up." Klaus meekly looks over at Vanya and takes a long pull of the cigarette.  
  
Vanya closes her eyes. "Yeah, I'd really like to not do that anymore."   
  
"Well, you got six days, missy." He leans back and fixes her with a look of forced nonchalance.  
  
You roll over to Vanya and place a hand on her shoulder. "It's like I said, keep away from the FBI, all will be fine and dandy."  
  
"What the hell are we supposed to do with six days?" Allison snaps.  
  
"Party?" Klaus suggests before scoffing. "I don't know."  
  
"I'm gonna tell Sissy that I love her." Vanya sits up, determination on her face. "Hell yeah!" You point to her and smile.  
  
"I don't want any secrets." She continues and a chorus of "Yeahs" goes around the room.   
  
"Yeah, yeah your right." Allison agrees. "Yes, cause, you know, if it's all gonna go tits-up, the least I could do is be honest with my husband!"  
  
"Oh, does that mean we're gonna have to face our cult?" You refuse to look at him. "You will, yeah." You mutter.  
  
Klaus turns his head and stares at you. You look over to see him with those puppy dog eyes that you fall for like magic. "What?" You scoff.  
  
"You know what." Your eyes widen and you stand up and take two steps back.  
  
"OH, HELL NO." You refute. "I am not going back there!"   
  
"Hey, if I have to face them, so do you!"  
  
"Klaus..." You whine. "Come on, I hate group break-ups just as much as you - it's why I stopped dating twins - but it needs to be done." He argues and you just slump your shoulders and grab the flask, taking a swig of whatever Klaus threw in there.  
  
"This family's amazing!" Vanya declares and you all bust up cackling.  
  
"Yeah sure!" Klaus laughs.  
  
"Let's not get ahead of ourselves." Allison warns and you just go "Pfft. Debatable. But I love Klaus so..."  
  
Allison and Klaus get into a group hug and start goading Vanya to join in. Klaus looks over at you just standing off to the side, and he reaches over and pulls you in. "How many times do I have to tell you?" Klaus asserts. "You are apart of this family now, so that means family group hugs!"  
  
"Come on Vanya! Get in here!" Allison waves her hands and you all wave her over to join the circle. Vanya makes little bunny hops and bounces over to you all, and you embrace each other.   
"Oh, I love you guys." Klaus declares and you give him a peck on the lips. "Not as much as I love you."  
  
And as Sam Cookes "Twistin the night away started to play, you and Allison look to each other, girlish smiles on your faces. "Oh! You guys! I love this song!"  
  
And you spent...you don't know how long, dancing, twirling, grooving to the beat of the song, just letting the music flow through you. It was...intoxicating, you can't remember the last time you felt this free. Nobody expecting anything from you, no cults demanding your attention, hell you even were able to make Ben corporeal long enough to get in on the action.   
  
But when the song ended, you realized you would have to go back to being the Lunar Goddess by the end of the night. But the day was still young, and you still had time.  
  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
The door to the mansion looked a lot more sinister than you remember a few days ago. "Do we really have to go and do this?" you whine.  
  
"Much as I would love to say no...and believe me I would...we owe to them. We need to confront them." Klaus sighs.  
  
"Oh, I'm so not looking forward to this." You groan and Klaus interlocks your fingers, partly for your sake, but also for his. His grip is tight, but comforting, and together you both take a deep breath and open the door.  
  
Instantly you're both swarmed by followers, the hello/goodbye tattoos and crescent moons on their foreheads a mockery of your lives. You and Klaus slowly walk through the crowd of people, arms outstretched and a resigned smile on your faces.   
  
"Mommy and Daddy's home." Klaus announces and they all flock to you, cradling and touching and god this is torture! The grip on your hand tightens and you bite your lip to keep from bolting to the door.  
  
Except you might be slightly drunk. And you don't have the capacity to give a shit right now.   
  
"Destiny's children!" You call out and the group immediately drop into their...stance...thingie. Hand's touching their foreheads and the crescent moon in the triangle.  
  
"We've had a long, tiring, journey." You continue, Klaus giving you a confused look. "And we wish to be left in peace. To...compartmentalize. We will be in the Main Sleeping Chamber and do not wish to be disturbed!" quickly tugging Klaus' hand you pull him along until you reach the large main bedroom doors.  
  
You quickly push them open, push Klaus through and turn and slam them shut again. You lean your forehead on the door. "God, I hate this, I hate them, and I hate _you_ for making me go through with it."  
  
You quickly find yourself spun around and Klaus has your lips in a bruising kiss. "No you don't." He breathes once you come up for air.  
  
"No, I don't." You agree. You start to push him backwards to the bed giving him small kisses with every step, but when you look over his shoulder to judge the distance, you don't see a bed anymore..."Oh, you have GOT to be kidding me."  
  
"What?" Klaus looks behind him and instead of a bed, the followers replaced it with mound of cushions and a hookah. "Oh."  
  
"I hate your cult." You grumble. "Our cult." Klaus automatically corrects you, but shrugs and continues to pull you forward with him.   
  
"It's okay, we can make it work. Remember Iceland?" You fall on top of him and quickly straddle his hips, placing your hands on each side of his head. You remember the furs, the cold, the fire...the heat and the passion...the long nights together with the northern lights as your only light source...  
  
"Yeah..." You murmur, "I think we can make this work." Any other words are drowned with your mouth on his.  
  
The rest of the night is spent together, forgetting for just a moment that there's a cult right outside those doors and how much they expected from you two.  
  
For the rest of the night, it was You, Klaus, and the feeling of Skin on Skin while you danced beneath the moonlight.


	14. AA This is not

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Declaring yourselves frauds is a lot harder than you might think. Some people just can't seem to take no for an answer.

**A light Supper pt 1**   
**AA This is not**

  
Waking up, facedown on the mound of cushions, naked as the day you were born, and seeing Klaus in a loincloth doing morning yoga?   
  
Best way to wake up, ever.  
  
Him arguing with Ben? Not so much.  
  
"You can't just go out there and tell them that the world is gonna end!" Ben was saying. "You know what can happen to cults when things go...sideways."  
  
"Okay, first of all, it's not a cult, okay?" Klaus refuted, sliding into a side plank. You roll over onto your back, making sure your front was covered in case Keechie came barging in...again.  
  
"Don't mince words, ya dingus. It's a cult." You groan. You hear a distinct thunk and sit up to see Klaus had fallen out of position and landed on his ass. "[Y/N]! How long have you been up?" Klaus wonders. "Long enough." Yawning, you make sure your chest is covered before making grabby hands for your undergarments. Klaus tosses them to you and goes back to his yoga.  
  
"And Ben, Klaus is right. These guys are absolute whackjobs, we tell them we're frauds -"  
  
"Which you are" Ben interjects. You glare at him slightly as he turns around to give you some privacy. "-Okay, yes, which we are. If we tell them we're frauds, you know what's gonna happen?"   
  
"At this point I'm afraid to ask..." Klaus murmurs.  
  
"They'll go apeshit over it and start chanting "I am a fraud!" too! They won't believe a word we tell them!"  
  
"And what are you gonna tell them instead? "Prepare to die?" They deserve a better explanation then that!"  
  
"Hey, I have been nothing but honest with them from the start!" You point your finger at Ben. 

"Literally all of your 'Scriptures', are just video game quotes from your old universe." Ben deadpans. You open your mouth to refute that but slowly close it and let your finger fall, once you realized he was right.  
  
Ben just turns his head, running a hand down his face.  
  
"We wouldn't be in this position if you had just interfered in the first place." Ben grumbles and you turn Ben around to fix him with an unimpressed look. "Oh, so you're saying this is my fault." You place a hand on your chest, offended that he would even think that.  
  
"No! I'm not saying that!" Ben holds his hands out in surrender. "I'm saying, we owe these people the proper truth."  
  
"We owe them the chance to go back to their families." You quietly state.  
  
"Some of them don't even have families to go back to! Jill gave up an Albright scholarship to Berkeley just to follow you two. Her parent's won't even talk to her."  
  
"Jill...She the one with brown skin, glasses, "Almond shaped eyes you could get lost in?"" Klaus recalls and Ben blushes a little at his words being thrown back at him.  
  
"You remembered?"   
  
"Yeah, well, you won't shut up about her, it's only fair I figure out who my baby bro is crushin' on."  
  
"Klaus, we're literally the same age." Ben snarks and you make a "Eh." motion with your hands. You let out a sigh and run your hands down your face. "What do you want me to do, Ben? The last time I interfered, I got sucker punched in the face." You point to your lip as evidence. There was a nasty gash on it, and you knew it would probably scar.  
  
"Try." Ben pleads. "That's all I'm asking. Just...try."  
  
Nodding, you take a deep breath and bite the indside of your cheek. "Okay. Okay. I'll...try. But don't say I wasn't upfront. This isn't gonna work. Klaus? C'mon."  
  
"Where are we going?" Klaus scrambles to his feet and follows you to the door.  
  
"I guess to declare ourselves frauds." Klaus grabs your hand and interlockes your fingers together. "Let's get this over and done with." You mutter and you both pull open the door.   
  
Instantly your assaulted by tambourine players, rose petal throwers, and general followers. "Yeah, hi. Hi!" You mutter and push past them to walk down to the central room, where everyone else was gathered.  
  
"Great, cool, thank you. Go on sit down." You mutter and usher a few stragglers down. Suddenly everyone is staring at you and you have no idea how your supposed to start this. The show made it look so much easier!  
  
"My name is Klaus and i'm an alcoholic...sorry that's the wrong meeting!" Okay you guess that's one way to start. You cough to cover up the bark of laughter and bite your fist to keep from smiling.

  
Clearing your throat you turn to face the crowd. "In our walkabout, we did a lot of thinking, searching..."  
  
"Ruminating..." Klaus throws in, "...And there's something we'd like to share with you all."  
  
You throw your hands out. "We're frauds. Complete and total frauds." Klaus continues on when everyone starts staring at you.  
  
"Yeah, we...we've been lying to all from the start, and uh...we are complete frauds."   
  
You can already hear the crowd start muttering "Fraud?" all around you. "This isn't gonna work." You hiss to Klaus. "Yeah, well, it has to." Klaus hisses back.  
  
"Me too!" You close your eyes and tilt your head back as Klaus let's out a tiny "I'm sorry?"   
  
God dammit Keechie!  
  
"I...I am a fraud too. I'm the worst kind of fraud. I...I am a fraud to myself." Keechie slowly walks over to you and kneels down. "But...but your scriptures say, "It is only when you fall, that you learn whether you can fly."  
  
You give Keechie an indecipherable look. "That...that's not scripture though! That's a quote from Flemeth, from the Video Game Dragon age 2, released in 2011 in an alternate universe!"  
  
You start to hear the crowd chant "Flemeth?" and Klaus continues where you left off. "Eh...you guys don't wanna follow us, we aren't gurus, we aren't messiahs..."  
  
"We certainly are not goddesses..." You add bitterly. "We're frauds! We have 0 clue what we're doing up here! You should all go back home to your families...and...oh..."   
  
You look over and see Keechie with his hands up, and judging by the whimpering and moaning, he was clearly having an internal crisis of faith.  
  
"Keechie..." You sigh and move closer to cradle his face. "Stop, stop, stop. Come on now. Look at me, can you do that? Can you look at me?" Slowly Keechie raises his eyes to look at you and give a hopefully reassuring smile. "It's all gonna be okay. Listen to me. It's all going to be...okay. Okay?"  
  
"Okay." Keechie nods. "I understand."  
  
"Good. That's good!"  
  
"When we admit our own fraudulence..." You smile drops to be replaced with a look of mounting horror, "...Only then can we experience true humility."  
  
"Okay, not so good." You whisper. "That is NOT what I meant!" but Keechie isn't listening as he starts chanting "I am a fraud!"  
  
Jill suddenly stands up. "I too am a fraud!". Then another "I am a fraud!". And another, another, and another, until the whole room was chanting it. Looking over at Ben his face is dumbstruck at how gullible these people are and you just sigh and go. "Okay."  
  
Grabbing Klaus' hand, you both make your way back to the room you were both just in. You pass Ben, and with as much sarcasm as you can muster, go "Oh, yeah. I really affected the timeline here. Caused some _massive_ change in the space time continuum."  
  
"Hey, man. You can't say we didn't try." Klaus adds and then mutters, "God, I need a drink.". You couldn't agree more.  
  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
"Should I even be shocked that that would happen?" You wonder. Plopping down on the cushions, Klaus grabs a robe and a couple of glasses. "Not really." He agrees. "I kinda figured something like this would start. They only hear what they want to hear, never what they need to." muttering under his breath, "Come on, I know I hid a bottle of gin in here somewhere."  
  
"Check behind the bookshelf." You suggest, running your hands down your face and closing your eyes. When you open them again, Ben is standing right in front of you, mere inches from your face.   
  
"JESUS CHRIST BEN!" You scream. "Could you seriously not do that?"  
  
"You know, this might be hard for you to grasp, but you need some serious help."  
  
"Oh, my god." You mutter. "What are you on about now?"  
  
"That wasn't trying! Back there? That wasn't trying. That was reciting from a screen, you had seen months before coming here!"  
  
"And how would you know? Huh? How?" grabbing the glass Klaus had poured for you, you take a large gulp, shuddering at the bitterness of the alcohol.  
  
"Because that's how you acted in 2019, when you had to recite scenes word for word because you were too damn scared to speak up!" Ben pointed a finger at you, and for the first time in a while you felt something other than apathy at being called out for your knowledge.  
  
This was proper anger.  
"You don't know anything about me." You growl at him and from where Klaus was standing, he let out an uneasy "Uh, guys, maybe you should..." But was quickly ignored.  
  
"I know enough! I know that you're scared, scared that if you STOP. AND. THINK... You'd realize how selfish you're being right now!"  
"Selfish!?"  
  
"Yes! Selfish! This isn't a show anymore! It's real life! And you need to start acting like it!"   
  
"Maybe when _you_ stop acting like your Dad for more than five minutes! I mean, Christ, I fixed up your relationship with Klaus only for you to act like your dad to me instead!" You snap your mouth shut just as soon as the words were out of your mouth. "Oh, shit." Klaus whispers.  
  
Ben's look of rage is indescribable. "Ben?" You call out. "Ben, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it, you know that."  
  
"Arrrgghhhh!" Ben suddenly comes barrelling towards you and you shriek in shock. Crying out "Oh, Shit!" before the feeling of something foreign pass through your body. You shudder and fall over, not hearing Klaus drop the glasses and the bottle and running over to you.  
  
"[Y/N]? [Y/N] are you okay?" Klaus hesitates touching you and from behind you can see Ben have the same experience. "Ben what did you do to them?"  
  
"I...I think I was inside them!"  
  
"You weren't just inside me! You fucking possessed me, you prick!" You called out.  
  
Everything feels like a thousand needles poking at you, like someone had taken a blowtorch to your insides, and every breath feels like a nightmare. Hunching down, you curl up and try and make yourself appear as small as possible.  
  
Dear sweet Jesus, was this what Klaus felt when Ben possessed him the first time? This was a thousand times worse than Cha-Cha's torture.  
  
"You did what?!" Klaus turns and glares at Ben. In turn, Ben looks to you in shock.   
  
"Oh! I'm sorry, I've caught the goddess in the middle of prayer." Jills voice causes the three of you to turn around and your face pales.  
  
"Dave."  
"Jill."  
  
Jill and Dave stand at the entrance, Dave sporting a black eye and holding a pamphlet.  
  
Oh, this was gonna be way harder than you thought to explain. Klaus can handle it.


	15. Changing the future

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A key event is altered and gives cause for Klaus and [Y/N] to celebrate...for now.

**A light supper Pt 2**   
**Changing the future**

  
"Jill, could you and Dave give us a moment to...prepare ourselves?" Jill looks to Klaus and nods, placing her hands against her forehead and slowly backs out of the room. Dave gives her a weird look and Klaus ushers him out along her. "Give us five minutes, we'll meet you out in the courtyard. Alright?"  
  
Dave can only give him a confused look, but ultimately agrees. "Uhh...Okay." and walks out the door, Klaus smiles until the door is shut, and it suddenly drops to be met with a harsh sigh. "Shit." He whispers.  
  
"[Y/N]? Are you okay?" Ben is trying to touch you, but with all your shuddering he's afraid to do anything in fear of making it worse.  
  
"Do I look... _oh god_...like I'm okay?" You grunt out and slowly try and stand up. You need to get dressed and meet Dave, gotta find out if you actually made a difference. Klaus runs over and helps you up, holding on tightly to your arms in the process. "You shouldn't be moving, I can go out and talk to Dave. You should be relaxing after that ordeal."  
  
"What, and let you deal with the aftermath on your own? No chance." You grab a green dress and slip it on, not in the mood for any buttons or frills today. Klaus passes you over to Ben, who holds on tight while you catch your breath.  
  
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I didn't think that would actually happen!" Ben keeps apologizing and you roll your eyes at him.  
  
"Did you forget I'm EXACTLY like him? I have most of his powers, for some damn reason."  
  
"I'm starting to think the whole "Being dead" Theory we had going has more merit than I thought." Klaus muses and you bend backwards, groaning at the cracking sounds your spine lets out. "We can speculate after seeing Dave, alright?"  
  
Klaus lets out a nervous gulp at that and looks toward the door. "Dave. Right."  
  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
"So, how did you find us?" Klaus asks. After meeting up with them you had instructed Jill to have everyone give you all some privacy for the timebeing.  
  
"I found this pamphlet, with your face on it." Dave hands you a pamphlet and you have to groan at the terrible likeness of your face plastered on the cover. "That looks...nothing like me." You mumble.   
  
"Oh, no." Klaus chuckles and you toss the pamphlet over your shoulder. "Well, I'm glad you came." he continues.   
  
"I just wanted to say sorry, ma'am, for hitting you the other day. I never meant to-" You quickly wave Dave's apology away. "It's nothing, really. I've been taking hits like that since before I turned 18."  
  
"Still, it isn't right."  
  
"Neither is that shiner you're sporting." You point out. "How'd that happen, by the way?"  
  
Dave looks down, cheeks flushed in embarrassment. "I-You said...in the pamphlet, you said you knew the future? And when you said a bunch of stuff about the war and about my uncle?"  
"Uh-huh."  
  
"How'd you know all that stuff?"  
  
"Oh, that's real simple. Uh, I'm a goddess, and Klaus here, is my husband/prophet." You joke but it seems your words aren't having the effect you want them to.  
  
"No disrespect or anything, but this stuff isn't real." Dave deadpans. You shrug and nod at few gardeners when they bow in respect. "I know, but we can't get them to stop believing in us, and we've told them we're frauds numerous times." You point at Klaus and move a branch out of the way. "Also he knows everything about you. You guys are like, besties in about 5 years, give or take."  
  
"Oh, yeah?" Dave challenges, "Like what?"  
  
"Like..." Klaus snaps his fingers. "I know your favorite food is a plain hamburger with 2 pickles."  
  
"Everybody like a hamburger."   
  
Klaus just smiles and continues to walk along the path, swinging your arms together. "You're favorite song is 'The man who shot liberty valance'"  
  
"Who told you that?" Dave asks.  
  
"And your favorite book of all time is Dune."  
  
"HA! Wrong. I've never even heard of Dune."  
  
"You will. And you'll love it, trust me. And you're welcome by the way."  
  
"Mmm, the movies are way better though." You muse. "Kevin bacon in the 80's, ah, what a charmer."  
  
Klaus and Dave can only glance at each other and go, "Who's Kevin Bacon?"   
  
You can roll your eyes at them. Klaus was right, they are best friends.  
  
"What else, what else?" Klaus wonders and you figure now is the best time to interject.  
  
"You sometimes feel like an outsider in your own home. That, no matter what you do or who you are, you'll never be enough for your family. And judging by how you refused to talk to me about your eye, I can go ahead and assume that was from your uncle, cause your dad doesn't seem the type to do that sort of thing, no. Leave it to the uncle, have plausible deniability."  
  
Dave looking away from you only confirms what you already know, and your heart breaks for the kid even more now.  
  
You stop out by the bridge overlooking the reflecting pool, and place your hands on the concrete wall, and look out onto the water. "You think that being a soldier will make your parents love you. It won't. You think it'll prove something to them. It won't. You think it'll prove something to yourself." You shrug. "It might."  
  
"We're here to tell you, Dave, That you'll just end up wishing you didn't." Klaus finishes.  
  
"You think I want to enlist? I hate the damn army!" Hang on, what? You slowly turn your head and face Dave. "I'm sorry?"  
  
"Having to listen to my dad and my grandpa and my uncle all talk about all that killing, and the death they saw? It wasn't right, I didn't want to experience it for myself. But they know I'm...I'm..."  
  
"Gay?" You and Klaus finish and Dave hesitantly nods.  
  
"You were right, you know. In the diner? About there not being a point to enlisting. How it isn't a 'be all, end all solution'. But if I don't, my parents disown me, and if that happens, I'm as good as dead. So... I took your advice."  
  
"You...I'm sorry, I must have water in my ears, did you just say you took my advice?" Maybe the world was ending after all, this never happens! Ever!  
  
Dave nods and points to his eye. "That same day, my uncle took me down to the recruitment office. I told him I wanted to join the National Guard. He wasn't exactly happy with me and when I told him it wasn't his decision and that my dad didn't care as long as it was a branch of the military...he...took it upon himself to punish me for mouthing off."  
  
"But it worked, right? You were able to join the guard?" You insist and Dave nods.   
  
"Yeah, yeah I was. Listen, I gotta go, I'm due to start basic next week and I gotta start packing but I just gotta say, thank you. It isn't what I ultimately want, but it's a compromise I'm willing to accept." Dave hands you the flower necklace he'd been holding onto but keeps the pamphlet and walks off.  
  
You and Klaus are both speechless. All you can do is gape open-mouthed at the area Dave was just standing in.  
  
"Oh...my...god." You mutter. A bright grin takes over your face and you turn to Klaus who is still just staring openmouthed at the spot Dave was standing in "We did it!"  
  
"Holy shit. He didn't join the army! Well, he did, but not a branch that gets deployed! WE DID IT!" Klaus picks you and spins you around, with you wrapping your legs around his waist and kissing him. You break off look down and smile at him, and for once the tension in his body looks lighter, like a massive weight has been lifted off.  
  
"I never thought this would happen!" You murmur against Klaus' lips. "What? Changing the future?" Klaus asks.  
  
"No. Someone actually took my advice!" This is the happiest the two of you have ever been. You weren't able to stop him enlisting, but this is a happy medium.  
  
"You need to know, there were a few thousand National Guard that did go to Vietnam." You warn Klaus. You don't want to get his hopes too high, there's always a chance something could go wrong.  
  
"It doesn't matter! It's not the army! He's not gonna die in the A-Shau valley! That's all that matters!" Klaus cheers and spins you around again. You don't think you've ever seen him this happy before.  
  
You're just shocked your foreknowledge actually worked for once.  
  
When Klaus finally sets you down, you see Keechie come jogging up towards you. "I'm sorry, Goddess, but this came for you a bit ago." He hands you an envelope and backs away, going back to whatever he was doing.   
  
Opening the envelope you read the contents. "What is it?" Klaus asks. "To my pursuers. I, Reginald Hargreeves, request the pleasure of your company for a light supper on the 20th of November at half past 7 o'clock. 1624 Magnolia street. Dallas, Texas." You read out.  
  
You turn to him suddenly, a mischievous grin on your face.   
  
"How do you feel about me meeting your Dad for dinner tonight?"  
  
"A disaster waiting to happen." Is Klaus' immediate response, followed by "Ohhhh...Is that what we're doing?"  
  
"Us, and the rest of our family. C'mon. Time to meet the adoptive asshole parent."  
  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Pulling up to the hotel, you gulp nervously as Klaus turns the ignition off. "You know," he says, "You can still back out of this. I've dealt with his...parenting firsthand. You haven't. You don't have to be subjected to his traumatizing actions."  
  
"No. I don't." You agree, then grab the back of his neck to pull him into a bruising kiss. When you finally pull away, you smile sweetly at him. "But I'm going to anyways. Because I love you. And I don't want to see you dealing with this by yourself. Alright?" Klaus looks at you with what can only be described as love before sighing and slipping on his sunglasses. "Alright. Let's go see Dad."  
  
"Any chance...I could come?" Ben Asks from the Backseat and the two of you jump in shock.  
  
"Oh, my fucking...Ben I swear I'm gonna start making you wear a damn bell around your neck if you keep that up!" You threaten and then look over, smiling at him. "Also duh, course your coming."  
  
You can see his eyes light up with the thought of being included in a family activity. "Really?"  
  
"Dude, your Number Six!" Klaus exclaims. "If we knew how to make you tangible for longer than 5 minutes at a time without getting exhausted, don't you think we would have done it by now?"  
  
"I just thought, cause of the whole...possession thing, that..." You wave off any of Ben's concerns.   
  
"Just...don't do it without my or Klaus' consent, alright? If you can do that, we're cool."  
  
"Yeah, Yeah, totally!"  
  
"Awesome. Oh look! There's Allison!" You quickly get out of the car and bound over towards Allison.   
  
"Hey!" You greet and Allison looks over at you, raising an eyebrow at your cheerfulness.  
  
"Well, someone's happy!" She notes and you both walk up the stairs together. "I have reason to be. Tell you about it after?"  
  
"Deal. And I can tell you about mine." You both rush to the Elevator Five and Diego are in. "Hold it!" Allison exclaims and runs in and stands behind Five. You choose not to say anything, instead opting to simply squeeze Fives shoulder in a show of comfort. He squeezes the hand back in gratitude.  
  
"Hey everyone." Klaus greets and pulls you back to the corner with him, wrapping an arm around your waist and tucking you into his side. Ben is next to Klaus, and Vanya and Luther come in last.  
  
With Five's "Good. We're all here." the elevator door closes and you all rise up to meet the man of a thousand traumas.


	16. First impressions are always the hardest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We have a few words for our father in law. And maybe some murder. But mostly words.

**A light supper pt 3**   
**First impressions are always the hardest**

  
It wasn't until about halfway up that you noticed Luther fidgeting nervously. Your eyes widen, and quickly throwing up your shield around yourself and Klaus, you quietly wait for the effects to kick in.  
  
It didn't take long.  
  
"Oh, god."  
"Oh, Luther!"  
"Disgusting."  
  
You and Diego were quietly laughing and Klaus just looked around confused. "I don't get it, did Luther...?"  
  
"Sorry, I'm nervous." Is all Luther can offer in way of apology.  
  
Allison looks behind and gasps in shock and outrage. "Are you and Klaus shielded? Seriously?!"  
  
"Yeeep." You say.  
  
"And you didn't think to include us?"  
  
"Sorry," You shrug. "None of you are my husband."  
  
Everyone just looks over and glares slightly at you, except for Diego, who sends you a low five in congratulation while you both laugh.  
  
Klaus and Ben just look at each other, even more confused than ever. "I'm confused, when did you two get married?" Ben whispers. Klaus can only shrug, again, and look over at the shield surrounding the both of you. "No, idea. But I'm not complaining if it means I don't get crop dusted by Luther."  
  
When the Elevator door dings and opens, Everyone save you and Klaus rush out into the hallway, gagging and moaning and a few even cursing your name while the two of you saunter out casually. "I'm gonna go and get us a drink, you want anything?" Klaus offers.  
  
"Whatever you're having is fine with me." You respond and go out to grab an extra chair for Ben. "Really?" He looks at you happily and you nod at him, as if it was insane that you wouldn't do so in the first place. He sits down next to Allison and you take a seat next to Five.  
  
You miss the beginning part of the conversation, only managing to catch the end result of Diego throwing the conch shell across the room, watching as it smashes into a thousand pieces. "He's still on the whole "Dad killed JFK" Thing, isn't he?" You assume.  
  
"It's like an obsession." Five agrees, and you both sigh at his idiocy. "Please tell me you aren't gonna agree to The Handlers offer." You say after a moment. Five can only sigh and shake his head. "Not if I can get Dad to help us."  
  
"Which he won't."  
  
"You don't..." You look over at him and raise your eyebrow at Five. He merely sighs and looks away. "What else am I supposed to do?" He begs. "Either I try and beg a brick wall for help, or I agree to a deal with the devil...again. I'm caught between a bad decision, and an even worse decision."  
  
"Or...and this is just a broad suggestion, you could...take my advice?" You lean in close and whisper at him. "Keep Vanya away from the FBI. Take her, her girlfriend, and her girlfriends kid, hide them at Elliots until after the 22nd, and then we work on getting a briefcase home once the Apocalypse is situated."  
  
"What about the IKEA mafia?" Five counters and you shrug. "We deal with that when the time comes. But given what we're working with, this is the safest option we've got." Biting your thumbnail you look over at Diego. "I gotta ask," You wonder, "Him and Lila, did they...? I mean, I asked Diego earlier, but you know what he's like. He'll lie out of his ass to avoid any awkward moments."  
Five shakes his head in disgust. "No, god no. More like annoying siblings if anything."  
  
Before you can respond the Door behind you burst open and Reginald walks through. You silently clench your fists and Five grabs hold of one of them to keep you calm. You squeeze it, grateful for the grounding. Reginald takes a seat at the head of the table and it's like a shift dynamic has occurred. You can see everyone but you and Vanya shrink in on themselves a bit, and even then she feels uneasy to be around him.  
  
You just wanna punch the guy in the throat.  
  
"Not only have you burglarized my lab, set my chimp loose, conned your way into the Mexican consulate, repeatedly stalked and attacked me, but you have, on numerous occasions, called me..."  
Klaus picks a lovely time to sit down in the seat next to you, and hands you a drink. "Hey pop, how's it hanging?"  
  
"Dad." He glares a little at Klaus before continuing. "My reconnaissance tells me your not CIA, not KGB, certainly not MI5 so...who are you?" The room is dead silent, nobody knows who should speak first. You internally debate on speaking on up yourself before Five makes the decision for you.  
  
"We're your children. We're from the future. In 1989 you adopted us all and trained us to fight against the end of the world. Called us the Umbrella Academy."   
  
"Except me." You throw out and Five rolls his eyes. "Okay yes, except them."  
  
"Why on earth would I adopt six-"  
  
"Seven." Allison cuts in. You, Ben and Klaus all share a look with each other. "One of us is dead." Diego bitterly adds. "But still here," You add, "So I'd watch what you say around him."  
  
"Regardless." Reginald continues. "What would possess me to adopt seven Ill-mannered malcontents and...I'm sorry, why are you here?" He looks over at you and you grab hold of Klaus' hand to keep you calm. The urge to punch gets stronger the longer you sit near him. "I'm dating this one-" You point your head towards Klaus, "-and Five can explain the rest."  
  
"We all have special abilities." Five continues.  
  
"Special? In what sense?"  
  
You and Five share a look. "In the superpower sense." you add.  
  
"Call me old-fashioned, but I'm a stickler for a pesky little thing called "Evidence". Show me." Reginald demands and you just scoff and look away.  
  
"Everybody wants to see powers all of a sudden." Allison scoffs and you lean your head against Klaus' shoulder. Luther, for the first time since Reggie walked in, speaks up.  
  
"We're not circus animals, okay? We're not gonna bounce balls on our noses and clap our hands like seals for your amusement."  
  
Diego has no such qualms however and flings a knife which curves around Reginald to land on the Tiki pole behind him. Reginald begins to write something down in his notebook and you and Diego along with everyone else curiously looks over at it. "What are you writing?" He demands.  
  
"You are zero for two, young man."   
  
Five lets go of your hand to blink over to Diego and keep him from attacking their dad. "Stop!" He whispers.  
  
"Now that is interesting." Their dad notes and writes something else down. Five sighs and walks back to his seat, pointing to each sibling in turn.  
  
"Okay, quick rundown. Luther, super strength. Klaus and [Y/N] can commune with the dead, [Y/N] as well is able to manifest a shield and create a psychokinetic wave amplified by emotions."  
  
You let your eyes glow electric blue for a moment and a large gust of wind blows through the room, and everything shudders for a moment. You smirk at the bearded asshole as he looks over at you in shock. "That was just mild irritation. You don't wanna see true rage." You note and he writes something down in his notebook.   
  
"Allison can rumor anyone to do anything..." Five continues. "Except she never uses it." Diego throws out there and Allison glares at him slightly.   
  
" _I heard a rumor_...you punched yourself in the face."  
  
The harsh smack of Diego punching himself in the face permeates the room and you grimace at the light crunch it makes as his fist connects with his nose. "AHH! Damn it!" He cries out. Allison merely slurps her drink in smug satisfaction and Five motions a hand in a "There you go." manner.  
  
"Hey, you alright?" You ask as Luther checks over Diego. "Yeah, I'm good, give me a minute." He groans and cradles his nose in his hands.  
  
"And you?" Reginald asks Vanya and you and Klaus and Five share a look of fear. "Uhh, maybe we don't take Vanya for a test run." Luther warns.   
  
"No, it's okay. I can handle it!" Vanya reassurses and grabs a fork. You quickly make sure that everyone besides Reginald is covered in your shield.  
  
"Uhh, handle it? Last time you definitely blew up the moon!" Allison states and Fives "No Vanya don't!" Is all you hear before she dings the fork against a glass and the fruit platter explodes. Bits of fruit splash against your shield and Everyone but Reginald remarkably stays clean. "Consider it an apology for earlier." You announce.  
  
"Oops." Vanya has a tiny satisfied grin on her face. "That was impressive." Luther states, then looks at you with a proud grin. "You been practicing?" You blush a little at Luthers compliment.  
"Oh, thank god." Klaus moans. "This is my favorite shirt."   
  
"Oh! And before I forget!" You look over at Ben, who'd been taking in everything with a smile. "Ben, would you like to say something?" You ask and you and Klaus manage to make to make Ben tangible for a moment. Like before everyone is struck speechless by the sight of him, and they all wait for Ben to say something. A soft smile comes over Ben as he looks around the room, at everyone's faces, before coming to rest on Reginald's. He replaces his softness for a shit-eating grin on his face and leans forward in his seat.  
  
"Hi. I'm Ben. I have a portal in my stomach that tentacles come of." His face suddenly drops and a glare takes over. "And you're a colossal dick." He vanishes less than a second after the words are out of his mouth and you and Klaus lean back, exhausted. Reginald just looks at the space Ben was in, nonplussed. Near Allison, you and Klaus can see Ben cackling madly at the opportunity to finally call his dad a Dick to face after 30 years of repressed bullshit. Which is all well and good cause nobody else has anything else to say and just stares wildly at the spot Ben was just at.  
  
After a minute or so, Diego finally addresses his Father. "Look, we know you're involved in a plot to assassinate the president." And this is exactly what you were worried about. You knew Reginald would twist this around and make Diego look even more insane than he was being already.  
  
"You were recently hospitalized, isn't that correct?" Case in point. "It seems you are still suffering from delusions of grandeur and acute paranoia."  
  
Diego's face flushes in anger and he pulls out a photo. "Am I?" He says. "Explain this." And throws the photo on the table in front of Reginald. You slowly close your eyes and tilt your head forward. This isn't going to end well. "That's you." He continues. "Two days from now, on the grassy knoll, at the exact spot where the presidents gonna get shot."   
  
Reginald is silent a moment, slowly looking over the photograph. Diego looks immensely proud of himself. Until his eyes meet with Reginald's. 

"Well," He starts, "I suppose you've solved it. You've single-handedly unearthed my nefarious plot. I suppose that's what you want to hear? You fancy yourself some sort of do-gooder? The last good man who will save us from our descent into corruption and conspiracy? This is a fantastic delusion." With every word you can see everyone's faces fall and their shoulders shrink in on themselves. Even sweet Vanya, who had no memories but the phantom pains of her childhood still hit hard. With every word your fist clenches harder. With every word the rage builds. "The sad reality is that you're a desperate man, tragically unaware of his own insignificance, desperately clinging to his own ineffectual reasoning. More succinctly, a man in over his head!"  
  
"Fuck you." You growl. Everyone's eyes turn toward you. Even Diego's who frankly looked about ready to have a panic attack right there in the room. "I beg your pardon?" Reginald sputters. You look at the man who ruined your life, who ruined everyone's lives. "You heard me. Fuck. You."  
  
Slowly standing up, you let yourself meet his eyes and ignore everyone else trying to get you to sit down, even Five and Klaus who were pulling at your dress, trying to get you to stop. But you were owed some form of vengeance, after the misery and agony you had suffered because he was greedy enough to steal you from another world for his own selfish benefit.   
  
"You sit there, mock our pain and our plight. You treat us as if we're mere bugs, less than the dirt under your shoe. You kidnapped me from my home and my universe because of a power I never knew I had." You aren't sure when you started talking about yourself, but you can't find it in yourself to stop. "My home, where this was nothing more than the events on a television screen, in the pages of a comic book! YOU. STOLE. ME." You shout and everyone can feel your agony, at being ripped from everything you've ever known, only to wind up in an unfamiliar time and place with people you'd only dreamt of meeting.

"...And you have the nerve to sit there, and berate us as if we're children again. Whatever grievance you have with my brother-in-law is no excuse to verbally destroy him like that!" You shout. Breathing heavily, you point at Five. "We came here because we need help. Even though I've said multiple times it won't work, because despite all my pleading about KNOWING THE FUTURE...you all seem bound and determined to get punched in the emotional stomach. So Five, just... plead your case so we can all go home and cry ourselves to sleep." You sit back down, and down your drink in one gulp. You don't know what it is and frankly you don't care, but it serves to ease your anger a smidge.  
  
Five looks at you, shaking in fury and eyes flashing blue every now and again and speaks to his father, hoping for a positive outcome. "Look, forget about the president. We have a catastrophic war coming in five days. We need to figure out how to stop it."  
  
"War?" Reginald scoffs. "Men will always be at war with each other."  
  
"No, this isn't just some war." Five refutes. "I'm talking about a doomsday. The end of the world."  
  
"Well... You're the special ones aren't you? Why don't you band together and do something about it?" And with that any patience you had for the alien man went bye-bye.  
  
"Alright, screw it. Five, I'm killing him." You announce and leap from your chair. Both Klaus and Five have to hold you back from acting on the patricide Luther accused you of back in 2019. "[Y/N], Stop!" Klaus pleads. "Nope! I'm gonna make him pay for years of trauma and repressed memories! On both you AND ME."  
  
"[Y/N] Listen to me!" Five hisses. You glare down at him, eyes glowing blue and for a moment Five is reminded of Vanya and how powerful she was as the white violin. "Why should I? I told you this would happen! Numerous times! So why should I listen to you when you won't even offer me the same courtesy?"  
  
"Because this isn't right, and you know it! This isn't you! You're better than this, you just need to think." You're all silent for a moment, allowing his words to sink in. Breathing heavily, you allow the blue to fade from your eyes and you glare at Reginald one last time "You're a horrible man, a terrible father, and an even worse boyfriend. You don't deserve pogo as a son, or Grace as your girlfriend. You are an abuser, a loser, and I am done here." You pull yourself away from Klaus and Five and stalk towards the elevators. "I'll be by the elevator when you're all done playing pretend."   
  
Looking over your shoulder at Five you send him a harsh look. "Five, when you're done making that deal with the Devil, come meet me at our compound. We need to talk."  
  
And with that you exit the room, just barely catching Luther's shouts of "Look at what you did to me!" and stood leaning by the elevator.  
  
You needed to have a long conversation with Five about his lack of trust.


	17. Deal with the Devil

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Truth comes to light as Five reveals the target still painted on your back

**A light supper Pt 4**   
**Deal with the Devil**

  
When everyone else slowly walks towards the elevators, you hit the button and turned around, crossing your arms. The door dings open and you enter first, standing in the left hand corner, followed by Allison, Klaus - who made a beeline right for you, wrapping you in his arms - Luther, Vanya, and Diego. Five nowhere to be seen, but you already knew that.   
  
"Well, That went about as well as any hargreeves family function." Allison snarks.  
  
Vanya looks over at Diego, slumped by the door. "Are you okay?"  
  
"So much for having my back in there. Team zero my ass. The only one who actually stood up for me was [Y/N]."  
  
"Diego, you asked a bunch of traumatized people to stand up against their abuser. What did you think would happen?" You point out and Klaus just lets out a shudder at your words.  
  
"God, you have no idea how terrified I was when you stood up to him like that. I thought he was gonna..."Klaus gulps fearfully and doesn't say anything else. You look at him in confusion. "Was gonna what? Klaus?"  
  
You look around and nobody is looking at you except for Vanya. "Guys?" you try again and still nothing. The implication is starting to get darker and darker the longer the silence stretches on. "He didn't...you know? Did he?"  
  
"He never touched us but the idea was always there." Allison mutters. The resulting silence is deafening and painful. Like all the sound has been cut out of that one specific room.  
  
"I thought it was amazing the way you stood up to him." Vanya tries to break the silence and it miraculously works as Allison turns and compliments Luther and Klaus moans about "Needing an herbal bath."  
  
You smile at Vanya. "Thanks. You guys are my family. I'm not gonna just leave you out to dry if I can avoid it."  
  
Klaus just nuzzles into your hair as a response and Vanya smiles warmly at the affectionate couple, silently wishing she and Sissy could have that kind of open and proud relationship.  
  
\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
When you finally reach the compound, Klaus kisses you on the top of the head. "I'm gonna go have that herbal bath, care to join me?"  
  
Before you can answer, Keechie walks up to you and bows. "My goddess, Prophet, there's a boy who says he knows you? And he wishes to speak with you." You and Klaus share a glance. Five.  
  
"Excellent. Keechie, could you send him to the central room, please?" With a nod and a bow Keechie walks off and you turn to Klaus. "Go take your bath, I've gotta talk to Five about something important, and then I'll come and join you."  
  
"You sure you aren't gonna do something monumentally stupid?" you give him a faux offended look and gently slap his chest. "Klaus Hargreeves, when have I been known to do something like that?"  
  
"Do you want the list chronological or alphabetical?"  
  
"Shut up."   
  
With a kiss and an "I love you." You watch as he walks off and turn to the main house. With a sigh you trudge forward and walk out to meet Five.  
  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
When you reach the room you had your "I'm a fraud" Speech in, you spot Five looking around the area, holding a briefcase.  
  
"Nice place." He notes. You aren't surprised he heard you coming. "Yeah, perk of being a goddess I suppose. You get great digs." You lean against a pillar and Five just gives you an unimpressed stare.  
  
"[Y/N], I don't mean to rush you but-"  
  
"Five, we're friends, right?" You ask. Five looks confused but answers with an "Of course we are."  
  
"Best friends?"  
  
"Obviously."  
  
"And best friends would listen to their best friends when they tell them when their plan is stupid, right?"  
  
Five looks at you with a mixture of irritation and confusion. "Where are you going with this?"  
  
You fix Five with an unimpressed look and cross your arms. "Why don't you trust me?"  
  
Five can only blink confusedly "What?"  
  
"Ever since I met you, every time I've tried to offer you advice, you ignore it, only for it to blow up in your face afterwards. You don't listen to me. So the only conclusion is that you don't trust me."  
  
"Wha- Of course I trust you!"  
  
"THEN WHY DON'T YOU LISTEN?!"  
  
Five backs up a little in shock or fear, you can't tell. The two of you are breathing heavily, Five in shock and sadness, and you in anger. You didn't want to yell at him, god knows he's been through enough. But you were sick of being ignored.  
  
"Back in 2019," You clairfy, "I offered to give you the name and location of Harold Jenkins. And you said no. Multiple times. And every time I asked why, you told me it was cause you were trying to maintain the proper timeline. Well, that's bullshit, cause the timelines been to hell and back and look! Everything is staying the same with some minor changes-"  
  
"Minor changes?" Five interrupts and you wave a hand dismissively. "Dave didn't join the army, he joined the national guard with my advice, which he took! Probably the only person who did!"  
  
Five's face drains of color and he starts shaking a little. "You-You changed the timeline?"  
  
"Eh, a teensy bit, but this isn't about me, this is abou-" You're cut off as Five drops the briefcase and blinks to you, pushing you up against a pillar and grabbing your shoulders.  
  
"You idiot!" He seethes. "Do you have any idea what you've done?!"  
  
"Done what? It's just Dave! He's insignificant to the timeline! Besides, if he's alive, Klaus is happy, isn't that what counts?"  
  
Fives face falls and you see genuine frustration line his features. For being in a 13 year old body, you can clearly see the 58 year old shine through at times and this is one of them. There are bags beginning to form under his eyes and a watery glimmer in his iris'.  
  
"Nobody is insignificant! One tiny change. That's all it takes! The times I didn't listen were because I was trying to protect you! Don't you get it? You think because you haven't met her yet that the Handler still doesn't want you? YOU'RE STILL ON HER RADAR, YOU MORON!"  
  
Five pushes off of you and paces around the room and you feel your face fall. "What?"  
  
"I'm sorry, I should have explained sooner, but she still wants you! Only, instead of working for the commission, you'd be working for her, which is about ten thousand times worse."  
  
Running his hands through his hair and down his face, you begin to see him in a way he didn't want anyone else to see. As a man who is catastrophically underprepared for this task. A man who hasn't had a decent nights sleep in almost 2 weeks. A man who hasn't eaten a proper meal in forever. You see his shoulders shake in fear, or anger, or sadness. You can't tell.  
  
"I made a "Deal with the devil" to keep my family safe. And that includes you. But if the Handler thinks she can get to you without reneging on our deal she will jump at the opportunity. Everything you change, no matter how tiny, she knows about."  
  
"How?" You whisper. Five shakes his head. "I don't know, still trying to figure that out."  
  
"I always thought...I thought that the universe was just adapting to my presence. That events happening in the way they did in the show was just the universe working around me."  
  
"Likely a commission goon fixing things in the background." Five dismisses and you narrow your eyes and push off the pillar. "Then why doesn't AJ want me?"  
  
"Likely because he doesn't know about you. Truth be told when I was a case manager for the one day, not one person knew about you, which I thought was extremely odd. I mean, you weren't on any kill or retrieve lists. So, whatever the Handler knows about you, it's likely personal enough to keep you out of the spotlight."  
  
You can feel your hands start shaking and your breath come out in short pants. "Oh, shit. The fuck did I do? I'm not a part of this! I just wanted to spend a quiet life with my pseudo-husband!" You grip the sides of your head as the harsh facts finally settle in. Just when you thought you had things under control, the rug gets pulled out from under you, yet again.  
  
  
You can vaguely feel your back hit the pillar and you sort of recall sliding down it, but to be honest those few moments are a bit of a blur. You can feel Five slide down the pillar beside you and grab your hand. You both squeeze each others hand in solidarity and comfort.  
  
"You are a member of the Umbrella academy." Five begins. His voice is soft, quiet. A stark contrast to how he normally acts. He refuses to look at you, whether to keep the illusion that he's in control, or what, you aren't sure. "If not officially, in our hearts. You are my sibling, my best friend. The only one who gave me a name and sees me not as a boy, but as a man in a boys body. And I will be damned if I let her or her demonic little ankle biter get their hands on you."   
  
"Bold words coming from a "demonic little ankle biter" yourself." You joke and the two of you share a choked laugh.  
  
After a moment Five sighs and moves to stand up. He holds a hand out for you and you grab hold and let him pull you up. "I need to go. The commission board aren't gonna kill themselves."  
  
"I wish you wouldn't have to do this." You move to grab the briefcase and hand it to him. You both have a mournful look in your eyes. Neither of you want this for almost the same reasons, and yet for the same reason you both need to let it happen. "Neither do I." He agrees.  
  
Neither of you want to see him back on the field, killing.  
  
And yet, he's doing this to keep his family-and by extension you- safe. So you both have to begrudgingly agree to let it happen.   
  
Adjusting his blazer jacket, Five fixes you with an intense stare. "Just so we're fully aware, if you tell anyone about this, I will deny everything and leave you hogtied on the steps of the White house."  
  
"And just so YOU'RE aware," You smirk back at him, "Klaus and I don't keep secrets. So him and Ben will be the only ones I tell. But don't worry, I'll make sure he doesn't make fun of you TOO bad."   
  
Five laughs mockingly but when your smile turns sad he places a hand on the clasps.  
  
"Stay safe!" You blurt and Five merely smirks back at you. "When am I not?" He quips and with a flash of blue Five disappears and you're left alone.  
  
You try and blink away any stray tears and take a deep breath, and walk out of the room.   
  
Maybe you'll be able to join Klaus for that herbal bath.


	18. Possession is a level of commitment I'm just not ready for yet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben pesters us until we say yes. That's it. That's the chapter

**Oga for Oga Pt 1**   
**Possession is a level of commitment I'm just not ready for yet**

  
When you make it up to the main bathroom, Ben is the first to greet you. "Hey, where's Klaus?" You ask. "I was hoping to join him for some of that herbal bath."  
  
"Sleeping, but that's not important right now. I need to talk to you about something that is important."  
  
"Uhh, okay? What's going on?"  
  
Ben bites his lip slightly before looking at you intently. "I want to talk to Jill."  
  
"Yeah, and...?"  
  
Ben doesn't say anything and the penny suddenly drops for you. "Oh, no. Nononono. Not happening! Ask Klaus!" You brush past him to walk ahead into the bathroom. The herbal bath was still there, steaming warm and you sigh and slip your dress off, sliding into the tub, groaning in delight at the smell of honey and mangoes. Klaus really knew how to pamper you.  
  
"Please? It wouldn't be for very long!" You groan as Ben pops up beside you, kneeling with his fingers hanging on the lip of the tub.  
  
"No! You know how much that HURT?"  
  
"Do you know much being dead hurts?" You turn your head and glare at him. "That was a cheap shot and you know it." Ben just shrugs. "It's true though."  
  
"Dude, if you want to talk to Jill that badly, I can just make you tangible! It's not that hard!"  
  
"Yeah, but you don't know for how long, and I...the things I want to do..."  
  
You close your eyes and make a disgusted face at him. "Gah, I don't need to know that! Just...no, Ben, okay? It's not happening."  
  
"I'm really asking you to think about this." Ben urges and you give him a weirded out look. "No. Now, can I please have my peace and quiet? It's been kinda a rough day."  
  
Glaring petulantly, Ben mutters a "Fine." And disappears. Sighing you sink deeper into the water, trying to relax for the first time in almost a week.  
  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
It isn't even 30 minutes after you step out of the bathroom, towel wrapped around your body, and the scent of mangoes covering your body, that Ben pops up beside you. "Please?"  
  
You jump, and the towel accidentally falls giving a few passing cult members a peep show you know you'll be getting shit for later. "No!" you shriek and quickly wrap the towel around you again.   
"Stop asking!"  
  
"I'm gonna keep asking until you say yes. You said, "As long as I have consent" But you didn't say how often I had to ask for consent."  
  
"What are you gonna do, Ben? Pester me until I yes?" Ben's only response is to give you a bright eyed grin and you can only roll yours and walk away. "Unbelievable."  
  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
You're making a cup of tea and getting ready to join Klaus when Ben places his hands on your shoulders. "Please?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Dammit."  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
You crawl into the mass of cushions, pressing yourself up against Klaus, sighing in content. Opening your eyes for a brief moment you come face to face with Ben just staring at you and you jerk back in shock. You tumble out of the cushions with a shriek. "Jesus christ, Ben! What is your deal?!"  
  
"Just say yes!"  
  
"NO!"  
  
"What's going on?" Klaus blearily asks and you glare at your brother in law. "Ask Ben! Ever since I got back from talking with Five he's been pestering me nonstop about possessing me!"  
  
"Can't you just leave it for the morning?" Klaus moans.  
  
"Like, seriously dude. What is so damn important that you feel the need to possess me in the dead of night?" You give him a smirk. "What, are you gonna go on a panty raid or something?"  
  
"I...wanna talk to Jill."  
  
"And you think she's gonna be awake right now? Cause she ain't. And pestering me about it isn't gonna make the sun go up any faster!"  
  
"Dude," Klaus mutters, "What the hell, man? Are you trying to take their body out for a joyride or something?"  
  
"Don't I give you enough hugs?" You wonder. Ben flounders for a moment before sighing. "Okay yes! I wanna go for a...joyride. Being able to touch you is nice and all but I'm still dead! I can't eat like you can, I can't smell the flowers, lie in the dirt or...be with a girl."  
  
"Weird things to have on a bucket list..." Klaus mutters. "Well, he did die at 17, so you know...hormones and all that." you point out, and look towards Ben again. "Look, what do want to do, get a 24 hour joyride? Is that it?"  
  
"Yes!" Ben jumps at the idea. "It doesn't even have to be 24 hours, it could just be an hour or two!"  
  
"Okay...okay...here's the deal. It's really late, we're really tired, and you're being really annoying. If you're serious about this-properly serious-wait until the morning, then ask me again." Ben opens his mouth but you hold a finger up to stop him. "AH! But you need to know exactly what you want to do. I don't want to hand over controls only for you to sit there and just go..."Well, shit, now what?""  
  
"Yeah, yeah totally! I can do that!"  
  
"Awesome. Now fuck off and let us sleep."  
  
And as Ben popped away, you and Klaus sighed and moved back to the cushions, curling up underneath whatever blanket you could your hands on. "You sure this is a good idea?" Klaus murmurs.  
  
"Not really. But in all honesty, I'd rather it be me than you. I don't want you to have to go through something like that."  
  
"You gotta stop doing that." Klaus snuggles up closer to you and you can feel the warmth of his body heat as he tucks you under in his arms. "Doing what?"  
  
"Taking my bullets. Gonna give me a big head at this rate."  
  
"You already have a big head. I'm just making sure it doesn't get shot full of holes." You state. "Also, I don't know if you've noticed, but I'd rather not see Ben as you making out with Jill. It's...so weird."  
  
Klaus looks down at you and gives you a weird look. "You...are fully aware that Jill has the hots for you, right?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"You might identify as non-binary, but you still have girl parts, and Jill likes those parts...very much."  
  
You blink a little in shock. "Oh....well, this might work out for Ben better than I thought."  
  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
The next morning is peaceful, quiet, calm. For the first time in days you and Klaus are able to sleep in and relax. Compared to the sleep deprivation he went through in this episode you'd say this was a vast improvement.  
  
You and he had been discussing what Five had told you the night before, and what this could mean for you as you ate breakfast.  
  
"So, essentially, you've got a target on your back?" Klaus summarises and you nod around a mouth full of apple. "It never really went away, apparently." You swallow and shrug your shoulders. "Saving Dave didn't exactly help matters any, though. Just put me in her radar even more."  
  
"Do we even know why she wants you?"  
  
You shake your head no and take another bite of apple. "Nope. Five has some kind of idea but he isn't telling me. Or he's as much in the dark as I am and just wants to give off the illusion that he knows everything."  
  
"Ten bucks says it's the latter." Klaus mutters and you smirk over at him. "You sure you wanna take that bet after last time?"  
  
"Oh, ha ha."  
  
"I'm just saying," You hold your hands out and Ben chooses that moment to pop in. "I have it!"  
  
"Have what?" you ask. The hell is he talking about? "The list of things I wanted to do when I possess you!"  
  
Oh. You had honestly forgotten about it considering you technically agreed at like...2 in the morning. But you did agree to this. Technically.  
  
"I...alright, lay it on me."  
  
Ben takes a deep breath. "Can I possess you?"   
  
You look over at Klaus who just shrugs and goes "It's your choice, schatz. If you think you can handle it, go ahead."  
  
You look over at Ben and bite your lip slightly. While you being possessed wouldn't be anything bad, you were worried about how the others might perceive it. Especially Klaus.   
  
And...maybe...you really didn't wanna projectile vomit should something go wrong. But you did agree to this.   
  
"Yeah, okay." You sigh. Ben whoops and moves in close but you stop him with a hand on his chest. "But first, some ground rules."  
  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
"Okay, Rule 1. You don't touch the hair. I'm actually kind of starting to like it." You had begun laying down the rules while the three of you walk over to the doors leading to the courtyard. Klaus stood nearby in case something went wrong. "Rule two. Don't go eccessive on the fondling. I know, it's the first time you've been in a nonbinary body, but when you leave I'll still feel the bruises."  
  
"Why would I...?" Ben makes a disgusted face and Klaus snorts a bit. You can only roll your eyes in exasperation.  
  
"I still have Lady parts Ben. I'm sure you can put two and two together. And lastly, Rule 3. No red meat. Trust me."  
  
"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Can we do this already?" Scowling, you smack Ben in the back of the head. "Hey. Be serious. This is my body your hijacking here."  
  
"I know. And I appreciate this like you wouldn't believe. Thank you."  
  
"Yeah, yeah. Just...hang on!" You reach over and pull Klaus into a messy kiss, which he responds with obvious vigor. Ben looks away in disgust and you pull away with a loud smack. "One for the road." You breathe. Klaus just stands there in a daze, a slight smile on his face. You hear him giggle slightly and you smile at him. "Love you." looking to Ben, you steel yourself. "Okay, I'm ready.   
Let's get this show on the road."   
  
The last thing you hear is Ben take a running start and then you feel the cool sensation of him entering your body.  
  
What happened after that? Well, you aren't too sure. Maybe Klaus should explain better.


	19. Not the strangest thing i've seen all week

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We see through Klaus’ eyes just how the possession went down.

**Oga for Oga Pt 2**   
**Not the strangest thing i've seen this week**

  
_Klaus' pov_

Watching my beloved moon and stars being possessed by my brother was by far, not the strangest thing I've seen this week, but it sure is up there. The second I saw Ben charge at [Y/N] it was like they became an enitrely different person. The light left, only to be replaced with someone elses, and they - no sorry, Ben - slowly patted down their dress, enjoying the feeling of having a body again for the first time in over a decade. "Holy shit" He said. "It worked!"  
  
"Yeah, yeah. Just hurry up, will you? You don't have a lot of time, so make the most of it." I warned him, but Ben wasn't listening, still too absorbed in...oh come on, is he really looking down their dress?  
  
"Ben!" I snap. "Focus!"   
  
Ben startles and looks up at my harsh gaze and sharply nods, muttering "Right, focus." And begins to wander out into the courtyard. I knew that he - they - would be okay, but I couldn't help but wander with them, make sure they didn't get into too much trouble.   
  
It wasn't that I didn't care about Ben's happiness, I did. I just...didn't want to see them ruin the first person that loved me properly, no strings attached. And if the first round of possession was anything to go by, this might break them once Ben leaves.  
  
I reach down and bring the crescent moon necklace i had around my neck and bring it to my lips for a kiss before rushing down and following Ben.   
  
When I caught up to him he was...oh, he was sticking his/their face into a grapefruit. That's...kinda disgusting, and judging by the look on their face I'd say he thought so too.  
  
"Dude, you don't even like grapefruit." I muse and Ben shrugs. "Yeah, but I wanted to see if the taste would still be the same."  
  
"Is it?"  
Ben sends me a wide grin that doesn't really fit [Y/N]. "Oh, like you wouldn't believe."  
  
He looks around before spotting a patch of dirt and his eyes light up in wonder. He runs over, slipping off the flats [Y/N] was wearing before stopping dead in the middle, just feeling the dirt between their toes and a gleeful smile on their face.  
  
"Ben, you're kinda on a time limit, I thought you said you knew what you wanted to do!" I hiss and he looks over at me. It was odd. I was watching both Ben, and [Y/N]. Every now and then their faces would swap and I'd be seeing one more than the other.   
  
"I love dirt..." Ben groans and I can only scoff and turn my head. Looking over I see Jill coming up and I quickly run and hide behind a tree, making sure to keep an eye on him just in case.   
  
Ben falls to the ground and begins to sigh happily into the dirt and my god, how are we related again? I really hope this isn't how I would've acted in their place, cause this is just...disturbing.  
  
"Goddess?" Oh, and it's about to get even more disturbing. Ben looks up at Jill gazing down at him/them and he smiles a bit. "Jill. Hi."  
  
She motions to the patch of dirt. "Cool if I join you?"  
  
"Uh. No. I mean...yeah, of course!" And, oh god really? Now they're BOTH rolling in the dirt! You're sullying my lover, you dick!  
  
They're both laughing and making dirt angels and honestly, if they weren't possessing [Y/N] I'd say this was almost cute as hell!  
  
Almost. But there's still a level of weird attached to it.  
  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
It's been over an hour and I am so ready to die of boredom. They've been sitting there, eating strawberries and oh my god I've been to funerals more lively than this! Ben, I know you died before you could experience the wonders of dating, but COME ON. DO. SOMETHING.  
  
Jill sighs happily, Ben doing the same. "You're different today."  
  
"Really? How so?" Ben asks.  
  
"You... I don't know, you're dorkier." Dorky is certainly one word for this. My god I don't think I've ever experienced more tooth rotting cutesy bullshit in my life.  
  
"Oh." Ben looks down in embarrassment, but Jill quickly reassures him. "No! No, I like it!"  
  
Ben looks at Jill with a soft smile and I know this isn't really [Y/N], there's a surge of jealousy that swings through at the look he gives her. I swear to god, I'm giving them the biggest kiss of their lives after this is all over.  
  
"You know, I haven't been able to take my eyes off you since you joined." Ben reveals.  
  
Jill looks down. "I don't believe you."  
  
"It's true. You love your garden, you sing to your turnips, you're so good with people. Everybody comes to you for advice and you give it so freely."  
  
Jill chuckles and blushes at the praise. "And...I love the way you tug on your earlobe when you read."  
  
"I had to buy a special cream for it." She giggles. "I know!" Ben giggles back and oh it's just a giggle factory today, isn't it?

  
"Can I..." Ben takes a breath, "Can I smell your hair?" WHAT? BEN NO WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT!? COME ON MAN THAT'S MY PSEUDO WIFE YOUR PERVERTING! I can only look on behind the tree mouthing profanities in their honor at the wrongness this date has gone.  
  
"Sure." Jill agrees and oh dear god this is just...the levels of second hand embarrassment are off the damn charts. Jill moves so that they're sitting in [Y/N]s lap and Ben starts smelling Jill's hair. I can only cringe and look away. This is wrong on so many levels.   
  
I mean, I'm kinky as all hell, but even I have a limit.  
  
"Oh, god, you're incredible." Jill groans and Ben's body shines through for a bit, "You... you're incredible too." he sighs.  
  
Okay. This is moderately less weird. Still weird, but at least it isn't my beloved.  
  
It's a moment where they're both just sitting there, smelling each other like a couple of dogs before Jill blurts out "Wanna do it?"  
  
Ben just looks at her with a blank face. "Do what?"  
  
"Have sex. The holy union of our multiple spirits." I choke on my spit and fall to my knees, looking on as Ben sputters and looks to me for help. I can only pound my fist into the dirt to keep from laughing.  
  
Oh, Ben. You poor virgin you.

  
"Sure, but uh..." Ben starts sputtering. "But what?" Jill asks.  
  
"There's something you need to kno-" Ben suddenly slaps his face and I stop laughing. [Y/N]s body is back and they aren't too happy it seems. "Are you okay?" Jill gives a concerned look and [Y/N] weakly smiles back. "Yeah. Never been better."   
  
"Good." And hello! Jill just up and straddles my beloveds waist, oh we are just gonna jump in feet first, aren't we?  
  
"Jill, you don't...you don't know the real me." Jill only chuckles at [Y/N]s words and merely goes, "Oh, yeah?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"I know everything about you." What? "I have poured myself over your teachings, sung your vedas, learned your scriptures. I have committed every part of your body to my memory."  
  
"But Jill, that's not the real me." Technically not wong Benny-boy. "I'm a virgin."  
  
Oh, sweetie. No. Not in that body you aren't.   
  
"What about last week?" Jill asks and Ben pops back, confused, and judging by the tent, slightly happy to be here. "What?"  
  
"You, me, and Klaus. In the sex swing." Oh, yeah. I forgot about that. In fairness I was trying for something to spice things up in the bedroom. And Jill was nice enough to help set it up, so we offerred to let her join us for one night.  
  
Turns out [Y/N] isn't that fond of the sex swing. Too many straps.   
  
"We practiced the suspended, extended, four part unification." She continues and Ben shoots me a glare. "Oh, [Y/N], you're so filthy!" He hisses.  
  
"Mmm, yes you are, Mommy." Jill runs her fingers through their hair Okay, not gonna lie, this is getting kinda risque. Not sure if [Y/N] is a fan of exhibitionism yet, and I'm not willing to test it out right now.  
  
"What are you doing?" I start at the sound of Diego's voice and quickly turn around. He has a confused look on him and boy if I had a dollar for every time I saw that look on his face.  
  
"Di! Hey, buddy! How's it going?" I chuckle nervously and look back to see - Oh, Ben is a dead man. More so than he already is. He and Jill have been making out for a couple minutes now, and I'd think it was pretty hot...if it wasn't my brother in my partners body!  
  
"Klaus I know you and [Y/N] are into some kinky shit, but I didn't peg you as a voyeur."   
  
"I'm surprised you even know that word," I mutter "And anyways, I was about to go over there myself. Care to join me?" I offer. This ends. NOW. Before they have a romp in the dirt!  
  
Diego shrugs and I quickly stand up and stroll over to the two lovebirds, Diego trailing close behind me. "Hello, mommy." I announce and Ben pulls himself away from Jill to look up. "Klaus! Diego!"  
  
"You gotta sec? Come on we gotta go." Diego urges and I quickly help pull Ben off the ground. "Yeah, I'll be right back." Ben assures Jill and she just nods while we all walk off. I grip on tightly to his arm. Every now and then I see a glimmer of Ben's body peek through [Y/N]s and I can tell they aren't happy about that stunt he just pulled.  
  
"Out of their body. Now." I hiss. "No! I'm not done yet!" Ben hisses back and we silently glare at each other for a few moments before Diego clears his throat. We both look over. "Lovers spat?" he assumes and we both shudder and take two steps away from each other. "NO!" we exclaim.  
  
"Okay, whatever." Diego rolls his eyes at us and begins to walk off. "You both need to come with me. Five found us a way home." Turning his head at [Y/N] Diego adds "Also, Five needs to talk to you at some point, something about a plan for getting that target off your back?"  
  
"Yeah, yeah." Ben agrees. "It's so good to talk to you again, Diego."  
  
"You hear what I just said?"   
  
"Yeah."  
  
Diego looks between the two of us, perplexed. "Are you high, [Y/N]? Klaus, are they high?"  
  
"God, I wish." I mutter. "Uh, no. Actually...this is...oh this is gonna be hard to explain. Uhhhh..."  
  
"Klaus spit it out." Diego demands and the words come rushing out of me at once.  
  
"Benispossessing[Y/N]." Diego just looks at me, blank faced. "What."  
  
"I...Ben...is possessing [Y/N] right now." Oh, this isn't gonna end well. Diego's face goes stone cold and he hisses out. "That's not funny. It's one thing to make him visible, but we both know he wouldn't possess [Y/N] like that."  
  
"Except I got consent from them. They're cool with it." Ben interjects and I glare at him. "They _were_ cool with it. Not anymore. Pretty sure making out with Jill wasn't on the list of approved things for you to use their body for."  
  
"It was a date!" Ben protests. "And anyways it's not like I planted my lips on her, she made out with me!"

Diego just pinches the bridge of his nose in irritation.  
  
"Well it's not as if you were trying to push her off you!" I throw out there.   
  
"Oh, like you're one to talk Mr. Sex swing!"  
  
"Sex swing...?" Diego murmurs and shakes his head.  
  
"Okay, whatever we don't have time for this. We need to get to Elliot's. Five got us a briefcase home, but there's a time limit. We got..."Diego checks his watch. "about 30 minutes before time runs out."  
  
"What about Destiny's children?" Ben protests. "We can't just leave them!"  
  
"Oh, yes we can!" I inject and quickly grab Ben's arm. With a sickly sweet smile on my face I grin at Diego. "Di, give us like...10 minutes? We'll meet you over there, no problem."  
  
Diego thinks on it for a moment before nodding. "Yeah, sounds good. Something I gotta take care of first anyways. 30 minutes. Elliots. Don't be late or Five will kill us. Alright?" Diego walks away but stops for a moment, before turning around and grasping Ben in a large hug. They hold on tightly, the first proper hug Ben's had with him in almost 20 years. He lets go, pointing at both of us. "30 minutes. Elliots. See you there."   
  
"Yep! Totally!" I nod and drag Ben with me. "You need to leave them, now." I growl.   
  
"Wha...how? I don't know how to leave!" Ben protests and I stop walking. "Seriously?! You didn't think of how to get out BEFORE getting in?!"  
  
"Okay, in hindsight, not my smartest move, I'll admit." Ben admits before shuddering. part of him lurches out of [Y/N], and Ben appears blue and transparent before being shoved back in.  
  
"The hell was that?" I wonder. "I don't know." Ben says and we continue walking. "It's like their body is trying to force me out but doesn't know how. And I'm afraid to leave that way in case something happens to them in the process!"  
  
"Well, we'll just...have to figure something out once we get to Elliot's. We don't have the time to speculate on this." I lean in close to Ben and hiss "After this, your possession privilages are revoked. No more joyrides inside my universe hopper. Got it?"   
  
Ben swallows, "Yeah. Yeah. Got it."

  
Nodding once I leave the house with Ben following close behind, shuddering every few feet and slapping a hand on their head.   
  
[Y/N] couldn't be angry about this, and more than likely would make up some excuse about how it wasn't his fault, but I can't let that slide. Ben needed to understand that this wasn't right. And if I had to be the one to say it, so be it.  
  
I could afford to get angry on their behalf.  
  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
We get maybe halfway across the driveway before Keechie is calling our names and running down the drive. "Prophet! Goddess! Where are you going?"  
  
Ben and I look at eachother before looking back at Keechie. "Uhhhh, quick vision quest!" Ben exclaims. I nod and add "Back in a few years! Maybe."  
  
"Wait, wait, wait, wait! But...who will bless the pool waters?" Oh for the love of...  
  
"You can do it, Keechie! You can do anything from now on!" Ben is slowly inching away and I quickly grab onto his arm to keep him from running off.  
  
"No, no prophet I can't."  
  
"Keechie, bless the water, bless the air, bless the sex swing for all I care. Would you just do me one favor?" Keechie nods and a blissful smile takes over Bens face. Which, again does not fit the current body.  
  
"Tell Jill that rollin in the dirt was the greatest moment of my life." I give Ben a dark look. Oh, so all those birthdays we spent together meant nothing then? I see. I'll remember that on our next one.  
  
"Uh, Goddess, wait!" We both groan at this and turn back around. "Any last words of wisdom before you go?"  
  
Ben thinks for a hard moment before blurting out "I see now that the circumstances of ones birth are irrelevant. It is what you do with the gift of life that determines who you are!"  
And with that we both turn and run off, leaving keechie to ponder over his words.  
  
"Dude, did you just quote Pokémon?" I look over and Ben is rolling his eyes.  
  
"I went through a phase, shut up."  
  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
This is bad. Really bad. Every few moments Ben is lurching and heaving, constantly having to put his body back in and I can tell its wearing on their body. There's a sheen of sweat coating their face and Ben's panting like crazy. "Ben you need to leave. Now! You're killing them!"  
  
"How?!" Ben shouts and the two of meet up at the end of the Alley, seeing Luther and Five. "Guys!" I call out. "We're here!"  
  
"Where's everyone else?" Luther asks and Five stares at [Y/N] with an urgent look. "[Y/N] Where are Allison, Diego and Vanya? Do you know?"  
  
"Uhh..." Ben looks at me and I just sigh and look at Five. "Long story. Short version: Ben's taken them out for a joyride, And I'm trying to get him out!"  
  
"Wait, what?!" Fives jaw drops and he stares angrily at us.  
  
"I told you it was a long story!" I look over at Ben. "Okay, I have an idea. You know when the next lurch is coming?"  
  
"Yeah. I can feel it starting." Ben nods. I move to stand beside him, bracing myself and holding my hands out. Luther looks on confused. "What are you doing?" He asks.   
  
"Something stupidly dangerous." I reply and right as Bens ghostly form lurches back out I quickly grab hold and begin tugging. "Luther, help!" I call out and Luther grabs hold of my waist. Together we pull and tug, trying to separate Ben from [Y/N]. It's tough, but eventually I feel the grip loosening and with a harsh pull from Luther, Ben separates and [Y/N] is flung off on the other end of the Alley, passed out. Ben, Luther and I are on the ground, panting and groaning, trying to regain our breath. "Never. Again." I pant and beside me Ben nods.  
  
"Agreed." he smirks then and looks over at me. "But totally worth it."  
  
"Shut up." Remembering [Y/N] I quickly scramble up and rush over to them, cradling their head in my hands. "Hey, Hey, my little universe hopper, come on, wake up!"  
  
Slowly their eyes blink open and they groan in pain. "Ow. For lack of a better word...owwww."  
  
I smile in relief and gently kiss them on the forehead.  
  
"Welcome back!"


	20. Going off script

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Paradox psychosis? Nah, fam. Didn’t happen. Luther and Five join Klaus and the reader as they go to Allison’s, and Five finally starts listening to our advice.

**The Seven Stages Pt 1**

**going off script**

This is not how you expected the day to go. Being possessed by your ghostly brother, waking up in an Alley with Klaus and Five looking over you, feeling like you just had the wildest experience out there. 

Oh yeah, no amount of drugs could compare to this kind of trip.

"You okay?" Klaus asks and you have to contemplate that question for a hot minute. You try and stand up, muttering "I think so." Only for your legs to buckle underneath you, Klaus and Five barely managing to catch you in time. "Okay, maybe not." 

“Five we have a minute left!” Luther calls out and Five only scoffs and rolls his eyes. “Somehow I don’t think we’d have made it in time, even if we  _ were _ all together. [Y/N], Where are the others?”

Panting, you lean on Klaus, trying to catch your breath. “Allison is fighting the Swedes in her living room, Diego got kidnapped and drugged by Lila, he’s currently talking to the handler right now, actually.”

“The village idiot got headhunted? Huh, never thought I’d see the day.” Five mutters sarcastically and you blink at what he just said. He’s about 2 episodes early, but you know what? Weirder shit has happened.

“What about Vanya? Where’s she?” Luther asks and the three of you simultaneously turn your heads at him. “Seriously?” You deadpan.

“What has [Y/N] been saying this entire time about Vanya and the FBI?” Klaus asks and Luther can only shrug his shoulders. “Yeah, but...it can’t be that bad, can it?”

“Luther, she’s a lesbian in 1963, she’s got a Russian name, speaks Russian, and just used her powers on some state troopers. It doesn’t get much more ‘Bad’ than this.”

Luther’s face goes blank and he lets out a little “Oh.” 

Five wrings his hands together and Klaus helps you stand, you leaning on him with an arm over his shoulders, Ben coming up beside you with the other one. “Okay, so. What do we do?” He asks and you can only blink stupidly at him.

“Excuse me?”

“You wanted us to start listening to you. So, this is us. Listening. What do we do?”

This wasn’t something you expected to happen. At all. Frankly you were shocked Five was even entertaining this but you supposed being around you must have calmed him somewhat so he isn’t as willing to go for the whole last ditch “meet myself” Plan he had cooked up in the show.

“Alright, first thing we need to do...is get Allison, make sure she’s okay. After that we can group together, and wait for Diego, until then, there really isn’t much we CAN do.”

“Okay, then. Let’s go.” Five announces and you all watch as he starts walking down outside the alleyway. “I - what - did he seriously just agree to my plan without fighting me on the timeline bullshit?” you ask out loud and everyone just collectively goes:

“Yep.”   
“Uh huh.”   
“Looks like it.”

“The world must be ending after all.” You muse. “There’s no way he’d agree to something like this so easily.”

“You never know.” Luther quickly points out. “Five’s changed since meeting you. You made him better.”

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It’s quiet as you all walk down to Allison’s house, your arm still slung over Klaus’ shoulders, Five taking the lead. “How are you doing?” Klaus asks. The sky had grown dark and the stars were starting to shine. Looking up you can clearly see the moon in the sky and you swallow nervously. “Scared, I suppose.” You admit. “This isn’t how I was expecting things to go.”

“And, how were you expecting them to go?”

“Chaotically, if i’m being honest. I didn’t think Five would be so quick to agree.”

“Figured things would stick to the show, didn’t you?”

“Yeah, just a bit.” You nod. Klaus ‘hmms’ and Every now and then you see Luther look up into the night sky, the moon visible in the distance. 

“What was supposed to happen?” Luther asks you and you see Five’s head perk up a bit. You sigh and readjust yourself so that you aren’t leaning on Klaus as much. “Well, you and Five go back to Elliot’s to come up with another plan, Klaus and Ben go and see Allison, and...yeah.”

“What, that’s it?”

“Not every plot point has to be immersive.” You evasively dodge the question and from the corner of your eye you can see Five turn his head and narrow his eyes at you. He knows you’re bullshitting them and while it might fool Luther, it won’t fool Klaus and Five. Klaus just knows you too well by now to call you out like that.

Five...doesn’t believe in that. You just hope he’ll wait and say something when you’re in a more private setting.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When the five of you come up to Allison's house you and Klaus are the first ones to knock on the door, Klaus’ reasoning being, “Ray-ray likes us the most!”

When Ray opens the door, he’s got blood on his shirt and his eyes are wild and glancing around the place before they land on the group of you. “Klaus? [Y/N]?”

“Hey, Ray-ray, sorry it’s so late, but uh…”

“Klaus, now is really not a good time.” Ray warns and you hear Five sigh heavily and roll his eyes. “We don’t have time for this.” He mutters and blinks in the house pushing Ray aside and opening the door for you to all to enter. Ray can only gape wildly and stare at Five, who then proceeds to walk into the house. You all pile in after him, and you send Ray a sheepish grin. “Sorry about this. I know this isn’t how you expected the last few days to go.”

You hobble up to Allison, giving her a big hug, which she gladly returns. “What happened to you?”

“Eh,” You wave off. “I got possessed. But it’s no biggie.”

“You got WHAT?”

“Huh,” Five interrupts the two of you and you look over to see him inspect the dead body currently lying on the couch. “Looks like you gave as good as you got. Nice job with the eye gouging.”

“Uh...thanks. I think.” She finally notices Ray staring at Five and quickly rushes over to him. “Oh! Ray, this is…my older younger brother. Five. He...Yeah. Anyways.”

“Hi there.” Five moves to shake his hand and actually genuinely smiles at him. “I hope you realize that you married into the universe’s most dysfunctional family.”

“Starting to realize that.” Ray faintly replies and before he can pull his hand away Five pulls him in close enough that their noses touch. “Be warned. If you hurt my sister, I will not hesitate to end your life, and make it look like an accident. I have the skills and knowledge to make sure of it.” He hisses and pulls back, fixing his blazer and smiling amicably.

Allison mutters “Oh, sweet jesus.” And puts her head in her hands. You nudge her with your elbow. “What a shame he wasn’t with you when you were married to Patrick.” you joke and she just tiredly glares at you. Suddenly you snap your fingers and point at where Ben was standing.

“Oh, Allison, I think at this point we should just introduce Ben as well.” Ignoring Allison’s hushed pleas not to, you and Klaus make Ben visible to the point where he’s in color. This wasn’t an easy thing, but after 3 years of practice, you’ve both got it to the point where he can be tangible for nearly 3 minutes.

“Hi! I’m Ben! Great to finally meet you!” Ben reaches over and shakes Ray’s hand. All Allison can do is shake her head and point to him. “And this is Ben. Another of my brothers.”

“I’m dead.”

“He’s dead.” Allison adds. Ray just looks at Ben, and then his hand, and just...puts his hand on his forehead, sighing heavily.

“Okay.” He meekly replies.

“Alright!” Klaus claps his hands and rubs them together, beginning to roll up his shirt sleeves. “So. Are we burning or burying?”

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It’s quiet as Luther helps Allison roll the dead Swede - Otto you think - into the large area rug in the living room. You, Five, and Klaus are sitting on the couch together, you laying your head in Klaus’ lap with his legs across Five’s, and Ben perched on the arm of the couch.

Allison grunts and starts tying down the body. “God why are people so much heavier when they’re dead?”

Ray just stares at Allison, “You got a lot of experience in this?” And the lot of you all stare at each other, Unsure of what to say.

You can say you didn’t have any experience, but you knew the rest of them had to bury their dead nannies at LEAST once.

“Hey.” Klaus gently pokes you in the forehead and you look over at him. “So, what was it like? Having Ben take the driver’s seat?”

“Hmm...like...having the most intense out of body experience in my life.” you think on it for a moment and look over at Ben. “You know I don’t blame you for not knowing how to leave, right?”

“You let him get IN without knowing how to get OUT?!” Five exclaims and rubs his hand against his forehead. “That is probably the dumbest thing I’ve heard in my life.”

“Okay, this coming from the guy who -in another timeline i might add - actually went ahead and planned to meet your younger/older self in order to steal a briefcase.”

Five, Klaus, Ben, Luther and Allison all stare at you for a moment before Five bursts out “Okay I take it back. THAT is the single dumbest thing I’ve heard in my life.”

“I know, right!?”

“Is that what I did in your show? What kind of a plot was that?!”

The next 20 or so minutes are spent with Five going on a tangent about how stupid a plan like that is, how “I’m the best assassin in the time space continuum and my plan was to TALK TO MYSELF?!”

“What are the odds he wouldn’t try and kill me?!”

“The paradox psychosis alone would make all this impossible, and I’m not about to deal with the effects of that!”

Luther and Allison went back to the body and Klaus groaned and thunked his head back, all already used to this kind of behaviour from Five. You look over at Ben, who had a pensive look on his face and you reach out and poke his leg.

“Hey.” He looks over at you and you smile gently at him. “You know I’m not mad, right? About you making out with Jill? I had a feeling something like that would happen.”

Ben smiles back at you. “Thanks. Kinda wish I had had more time though, I didn’t get to do nearly enough.”

“What was it like?” You wonder. “Being in a non-binary body?”

“Like...having no skin...but wanting to touch...everything.” There’s a look of awe on Ben’s face, and you feel Klaus snort and begin to card his fingers through your hair. “Yeah, well. It’s not happening again, not with your hot body. If he possesses anyone again, it’s gonna be me.”

“Klaus, the first time he possessed me, it felt - oh that’s nice - it felt like a thousand needles stabbing into me. I can’t let you experience that.” you protest and immediately start purring like a cat with how he was running his fingers against your scalp.

“Mm, I know. But I would take that pain over watching you make out with someone that isn’t me.” Klaus pauses for a moment before resuming his scalp massage. “Also I love you too much to see you go through that pain again. Being possessed nearly killed you, I can’t watch that happen again.”

Reaching up you grab the back of Klaus’ neck and pull him down into a kiss, gentle and loving. “I love you too.”

Luther interrupts the quiet moment then, Heaving the body on top of his shoulders. “Alright, so, where are we dumping this guy?”

Before anyone can respond a flash of blue light and 2 figures burst through it, Luther accidentally dropping the body and you wince as it makes a loud THUD on the floor. You sit up and look on in bewilderment as Diego and some short guy - you think his name is herb? - stumble over the remains of the coffee table. 

"Diego. You're Late." Five announces and you just bury your head in your hands. This is not how you were expecting today to go at all.


	21. An Umbrella Full house

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Discussing how best to rescue your sister is not without it’s challenges. Namely trying to do it before the president is assassinated.

**The Seven Stages pt 2**

**An Umbrella Full house**

"Oh, god, kill me now." You moan and hang your head in your hands. With Diego and Herb popping in like this, this isn't exactly how you had hoped to lead Ray into this family. And apprently neither did Allison, as she nearly imitated your actions.

"Ray, this is my...other brother...Diego." She exasperatedly explains. Diego casually strolls up to Ray and shakes his hand. "Hey, man. Sorry for crashing in like this." 

"Oh, wow." Herb exclaims. "Numbers One through Five! We have an Umbrella full house!" 

"Uhh...Diego, wanna introduce your...friend?" Allison asks and Diego points over to Herb. "This is Herb. He worked with Five at the Commission."

"I thought you were a case manager?" Five questions and Herb ducks his head shyly. "Oh, I was promoted a few days after The Handlers little...accident. I'm a supervisor now!"

"Huh." Five nods in appreciation. "Congrats. But, why are you here, if that's the case?"

"Oh, well. Ever since the Boards assassination, The Handlers taken over. It's turned into heck in a handbasket over there!"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, y'all can talk about that later." Diego interrupts. "We need to focus on right now. I know what causes the Apocalypse. It's Vanya."

"Well,  _ Duhhh, _ " You groan. "of course it's Vanya. Remember the glorious warning I gave you, "Keep Vanya away from the FBI?" This is why."

"Their right." Diego nods. "She blows up the Federal Building at Dealey plaza just as the president is passing through in less than an hour."

"The president doesn't die, but instead thinks it's an attack by the soviets." You add. "He strikes back, they strike back..."

"Next thing you know it's raining nukes...and you all already know this, don't you?"

You point to yourself and Klaus, scoffing a little. "Please. Me and Klaus did, sure, but the others wouldn't listen. Like usual."

"Yeah, well, We're changing that. What matters is getting to Vanya before she loses control." Five insists and you look over to see Allison leading Ray away from everything and talking with him quietly. 

"Oh...kay... while Allison calms Ray from his mental breakdown, we need to talk about how we're gonna go about doing this." You start. "Because this is going off script in a way I didn't think was possible. We have two players I didn't think would be in this, Five and Luther. So things might go differently than I remember. And we need to take that into account."

"Okay." Five nods. "Fair enough. What was originally supposed to happen?"

"Hey, not to be a Debbie downer or anything...but uh, what are gonna do with...that?" Klaus points to Herb who had been listening intently. He perks up a little once he sees six pairs of eyes on him. "Oh! Uh, I can...Have that cleaned up while you talk." He laughs nervously. "We also provide body cleaning services."

"Yeah." You nod. "That'd be best."

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Once Allison finishes up with Ray, you all rush out and get to the FBI building. It's calm and quiet on the outside but you know there's utter chaos and destruction inside the building.

"Okay," You start. You look around at everyone. Luther, Diego, Allison, Klaus, Five, and Ben are all with you at the FBI building. For once everyone is listening intently, hanging on your every word. "So, here's the problem. Vanya is currently hooked up to an Electroshock machine, set to...max voltage."

"Well, how high is that?" Diego asks and you can only shrug. "They never said, my guess would have to be somewhere between 3 and 5,000 volts, with the current cranked up to max. Enough to kill anyone, but Vanya being who she is...well, she’s currently trapped in her mind, trying to figure out her memories.”

Everyone gives you a blank stare. “Is that seriously happening, or are you just fucking with us?” Diego demands and you scoff irritably. “Do I  _ look _ like the kind of person who’d lie about this?”

“Alright, enough arguing.” Allison throws out her “mom voice” and places her hand on her hips. “We need to figure out how to get to her.” You look up towards the top of the building and you can see faint pulses of energy come out of it. Looking down at your hands you can feel the energy of your shield surrounding you. In the background the voices of everyone arguing about how to reach their sister barely reach your ears and you sigh and close your eyes. 

Klaus isn’t going to like this.

“I have an idea.” you announce and everyone shuts up and looks at you. With a sigh you flick your hands and the shield was previously surrounding you forms a bubble surrounding the 6 siblings. “I take point, and hopefully the shield protects us enough to reach her.”

Immediately Luther shakes his head. “No, we can’t do that, we aren’t throwing you in the middle of a suicide run!”

“What good is this shield if I can’t use it to protect the people I care for? We don’t have another idea as good as this!”

“Yeah, and besides,” Klaus interjects and throws an arm around their shoulders. “They’ve been practicing for the last 3 and a half years. You’d think they’d have learned some new tricks by now.” From the corner of your eye you can see Five shaking his head. “Something you’d like to add, Five?”

“Is thinking a concept you aren’t familiar with?” Five demands and you blink at him. “Is that meant to be rhetorical or do you actually want an answer to that?”

“Fives right.” Diego throws out. “You aren’t thinking about this rationally. The last time you took point in something like this you nearly died.”

“I think you’re both overreacting just a tad.” You laugh but nobody is joining you. They’re all looking down or away from you. “Guys. It couldn’t have been THAT bad, right?”

“Lieb, they’re not wrong.” You turn your head and look at Klaus. The grip on your shoulders goes tight and you feel his hands begin to shake. “You were...up so high.”

“We were afraid that fall would actually kill you.” Allison quietly adds. “Vanya didn’t mean it, but she had you higher than everyone else and you...you looked like a skeleton. I looked up at you, and I...I was genuinely afraid you were dead.” Around you everyone was nodding quietly and you reach over and grab the hand wrapped around your shoulders, 

“I get that you all are scared for me. And I’m sorry, that you are all terrified that something like that could happen again. But we don’t have the luxury of thinking about this carefully. In less than-” You snap your fingers at Diego and he throws “30 minutes” out. “In less than 30 minutes Kennedy is going to be travelling through here. If we don’t get to Vanya before then, that’s it. Game over. Now. I’ll admit, as far as plans go, it’s a crapshoot. But.” At this you look around at everyone and smile gently, placing a small kiss on Klaus’ knuckles “I trust you all to have my back on this.”

Nobody says a word, and with a tight smile you gently and calmly place Klaus’ hand back by his side. “I don’t know about the rest of you, but I’m going to be going in. You can stay here, and think about what to do as Kennedy rides through, or you can come and join me. Your choice.”

With that you walk into the FBI building, Shield thrown up around you. “If given the option though,” You toss behind you, “I’d rather have my family at my side. Just saying.”

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The inside of the building is quiet, and not in the ‘nobodies home’ kind of quiet. This is the kind of quiet you hear in graveyards, where the only other occupants are the dead. Which makes sense, seeing as how everyone you pass is nothing but a withered husk on the ceiling. You look up, spotting a receptionist T-posing on the ceiling and you gulp nervously. Her face is sunken, mouth open in a gruesome shriek and you can’t even see her eyes. It’s...horrifying. You shake your head and continue forward.  _ ‘Don’t think about it, don’t think about it.’ _

Reaching the elevator and pressing the button, you wait for the doors to open. Once they creak open, you step into the box, hitting the top floor button. You can only hope that the rest of the siblings made the right choice. 

“Hey, wait!” You see a hand hold open the doors and Klaus and Ben walk in followed by Five, Allison, Diego and Luther.

“For the record:” Five begins, “I still think this is a terrible idea. But you’re right. It’s the only one we’ve got. So let’s do this before I change my mind and start thinking the paradox psychosis is a good idea.”

Klaus kisses your temple and you smile with the action. “We aren’t gonna let you go through this alone, schatz.” Klaus murmurs. 

“You’re family.” Ben adds and Diego practically mimics his words “You’re our sibling, you dork. You think we’re gonna let you go through this alone? United front. We’re team Zero.”

You look behind you at Allison and Luther, holding hands and looking nervously at you. “I’m your sister,” Allison simply states. “I’m not gonna let you deal with this on your own.”

“This is a blatant suicide run, but hell, I’ll run the gauntlet with you. You’re a better Number one than I could ever hope to be.” Luther smiles at you and you laugh softly. “Maybe in another timeline.” You murmur and the doors close, The Hargreeves family together again.

Maybe with luck, You’ll come out of this together as well.


	22. I would give up the world to see you smile

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's do or die time. We decide how this plays out. Do we sacrifice ourselves, or our loved ones for the sake of canon?

**743**

**I would give up the world to see you smile  
**

At what point does the idea of selfless sacrifice become too all-encompassing? If you had been given the question 10 years ago, you would have said something along the lines of “When you don’t know if you’re sacrificing because you want to, or if it’s because you’re expected to.”

Now? Maybe the answer would still be the same, maybe it would be different. Who knows? But you would still make that sacrifice regardless. These thoughts were warring through your head as the elevator doors dinged open and the 5 of you plus Ben were blasted with energy.

You quickly threw your shield up and it formed a protective bubble around your little group, with you taking the lead, followed by Luther, Klaus, Ben, Allison, Diego, and Five. Your hands were thrown out, and you were slowly moving forwards, like fighting gale force winds that were giving you intense pressure headaches. For everyone else, it was like walking indoors with a thunderstorm rolling out. For you, you were the building shielding everyone, being pelted by rain and debris and wind.

“Alright, so what now?” Luther shouts. “How do we snap her out of this?”

The group had taken refuge behind the main desk and you were the only one still standing. Well, besides Ben of course. You don’t move but you look over in your peripheral vision to Luther, sitting on your right, with Klaus on your left. Five was beside Luther while Diego and Allison were beside Klaus, and they were all looking to you for answers. 

“Her mind is at war with herself!” you shout. It hurts to move, but you turn your head to look at him. “I- I don’t…” You didn’t have an answer. Truthfully, when you saw the episode you had always wondered how they expected to get to Vanya and calm her down when she was trapped inside her own head. Because...they couldn’t. Not realistically. You figured, they got to her, and then what? They get the energy sucked out of them trying to get her to snap out of it? And if you sent Ben in, he’d just move towards the light, and you weren’t going through that pain. Nor were going to give it.

You only had one option.

Looking at Ben, you fix him with a steely gaze. “I’m going in.”

Ben's eyes widened. “Are you insane? That’s going to kill you!”

“Don’t you fucking dare!” Klaus shouts and you look at him, shocked at his outburst. Normally he would be all for using your powers and helping save the day. He’s actively glaring at you, true anger broiling under his visage and you don’t think you’ve ever seen it directed at you before.

“What? What are they gonna do?” Diego questions, slapping Klaus on the arm.

“[Y/N]s going in alone!” 

“Have you lost every brain cell you own?” Five growls out and had it not been for Luther holding him back, Five would have throttled you where you stood. “We aren’t having you make the sacrifice play!”

“We don’t have another choice!” You scream and it stuns Five into silence. You glare at him fiercely, already knowing where this argument will go. “I know it’s a dumbass idea, but what other one do we have?! I watch as you all get knocked the fuck out?! Or worse, have the energy sucked out of you and you die?! No! Not happening! I refuse!” You look at the door, the pulses getting stronger and more frequent now. “And if I send Ben in, he’ll die. For good this time.” Klaus and Ben glance at each other, shocked. That can happen? “And I’m not having that.” You smile at Ben through your tears. “You’re right. This isn’t the show anymore. And I need to realize that and act like it. So this is me. Actually thinking for once. And I think...I love you all too much to see you lose Ben again.”

You duck under the table, ignoring the protests behind you. You make it maybe a few feet when you feel arms circle around your waist. “Don’t do this. Please.” Klaus murmurs. You refuse to look behind you. “I have to. I’m the only one who can. And you need to let me go.”

“Yeah, that’s not what he meant. He meant: “Don’t do this, without us.” Ben adds, placing a hand on your shoulder. Looking behind you, you see everyone else stagger behind the table and join you in your bubble.

“Guys, I don’t... you don’t need to do this.” Confusion spreads across your face. “Vanya makes it out alive, isn’t that what matters?”

“Not without you.” Those three words from Allison are all that needs to be said and she grabs your hand.

“Not without you.” Five repeats the action and grabs your other hand.

“Not without you.” Diego places his hand on your other shoulder, smiling gently.

“Not without you.” Luther stands resolutely behind you, ruffling your hair slightly.

“Not. Without. You.” Klaus stands up, giving you a kiss for every word spoken. “Haven’t you gotten it by now?”

“But I...I can’t let you deal with this pain. Losing Ben once practically destroyed you all. I can’t let you lose him again.” You try to plead with the others, you have a shot at getting to Vanya and reaching out to her. The only other person who could do that is Ben and it destroyed him in the show.

“What makes you think you’ll lose me?” Ben asks. You look at him and gape at the smirk he’s sporting. Five subconsciously agrees with him. “If anyone can find a way to get through this without losing anyone, it’d be you. You’ve changed the events before.”

“Not to this scale!” You argue. Five merely smiles at you. “Consider it a challenge, then.”

You don’t really have an argument for that. You can only purse your lips and look forward. With everyone holding onto some part of you, you feel like you could do anything. The full force of The Umbrella Academy, finally working together as a family. 

Together you move forwards and open the door. With Vanya strapped into the electroshock chair, you instruct Luther to destroy the machine hooked onto her head.

“Oh, I’m really going to regret this.” you mutter and grab Vanya’s hands. With the machine destroyed, you could safely hold onto her, but the pulses were still coming. “Everyone, grab onto me.” You instruct. “I don’t know if this is going to work, but hell, it’s worth a shot.” Immediately you feel several sets of hands on you. There wasn’t any hesitation in their actions. They trusted you that much. You swallow and take a deep breath. “Okay...Ben, I want you to go into Vanya. But through me. Does that make sense?"

Ben gapes at you. "You want me to possess  _ her _ through  _ you _ ? I...you know what? That plan is batshit crazy enough to work." You smile at him cheekily. "Hey, stranger things have happened! Now come on! Times wasting!"

Ben wastes no more time after that and sinks into your body, dragging your consciousness forward with him as he attempts to possess Vanya through you. As far as plans went, it was stupid. The odds of this being successful were slim to none, and you only suspected it would work because you and Five were used to this sort of thing. Truth be told, you didn't think the others would be of any use, but in all honesty you needed them to hold you up. Plus it makes them think they're useful. 

You had a bad history of winging it with plans and ideas. But this might be your biggest gamble yet. If it doesn't pay off, you might have just doomed the world into a nuclear Armageddon.

As your consciousness starts tapering off and the world goes black, you feel Five and Klaus start to slacken, and a brief moment passes where you worry that something happened to them.

But before you have time to question it, you drop, sinking into oblivion.


	23. Raising the dead

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Having the knowledge isn't the important bit in a strategy. It's knowing how to utilize that knowledge that is. Something the reader tends to forget from time to time. This is merely a reminder.

**743**

**Raising the dead**

When you awoke the first thing you noticed was that it was surprisingly empty. And white. Like irritatingly white. It really lends credence to the whole “White violin” moniker she has going on if this was what the inside of her head was like. You’re rambling. Maybe to mask the sheer terror that just occurred cause holy SHIT you didn’t think this would work! Looking beside you, you spot Ben standing, looking around at everything - or, well, lack of everything. “Ben?” You groan. “You okay?”   
  
“Huh?” Ben looks to you in surprise for a moment before going back to looking around at everything. “Yeah, i’m alright. It’s them you should be worried about.”

“Them?” You look behind you and your eyes widen at the sight of Klaus and Five, groaning in pain. “Oh, shit!” You quickly - as quickly as you could anyways, which right now wasn’t much - run over to them. You look over Klaus first, make sure he’s alright. “Klaus? Sweetie? You alright? C’mon, look at me. If you do, I promise the first thing we do in 2019 is get married. Doesn’t even have to be really fancy, we could go and get eloped in vegas or something equally stupid.” You were just rambling at this point, afraid that letting the silence in might mean that Klaus didn’t have the mental strength to survive the trip into Vanya's head. 

Which is weird as all hell cause you had absolutely no idea how they both got in here.

“You mean it?” You look up in shock as Klaus smiles up at you, slowly sitting up. “Fuck, don’t do that to me, you ass!” You roughly slap his shoulder and he laughs good-naturedly. “I’m serious. Did you mean it? Cause the answer is yes.” Your eyes widen. “I...what? Are you - fuck.” The smile on your face is wide and happy, and apparently contagious as Klaus is smiling just as much. “I’m getting married!” You shout the last part and the sound echoes around the room

“Yeah, no. I’m fine too. Just in a shit load of pain. But that’s cool. You all talk about your marriage or whatever, I’m just the guy who helped stop the apocalypse. Twice.”

You and Klaus roll your eyes at the amount of sass rolling off of Five and you move to stand up, pulling Klaus up in the process. “Yeah, yeah, I can taste the salt from here, old man. Hold on a minute.”

Moving over to Five you grab his hand and pull him up, but make sure to keep a tight hold. Looking behind you, you see Klaus and Ben chatting over something or other and you look back to see Five giving you a look of confusion. “Are you alright?” He asks.

You don’t really have an answer for that yet. So you elect to ignore it for right now.

“Question.” You ask. “How did you do the whole...projecting your consciousness forward into a quantum state version of yourself that existed across every possible instance of time?” Five blinks at you. “I’m shocked you remembered the exact words I'd used.”

“How? We don’t have the time to waste.” you insist.

“I...there isn’t really a way to describe it! Billions of calculations went into this, and I had to think of a version of myself that I knew existed in every timeline. Of course I was aiming for my current age, but that damn decimal point made it so instead of 58, it became 13.” Five blinks at you, confused. “Why are you asking this?” You don’t answer, instead you look over to Ben, staring morosely at him. Five sucks in a sharp breath through his teeth. “This is the scene where he moves on, isn’t it?”

“Not if I have anything to say about it.” You mutter and begin to stalk away, only to stop with a hand wrapped around your arm. You look around to Five giving you a harsh look. “Whatever you’re thinking of doing, don’t.”

“Don’t what?” You hiss. “Save Ben? Save us? You’ve all been telling me to change the future, that this wasn’t a show anymore and I needed to act like it. But the moment I do, you’re telling me no!”

“Because this isn’t changing the future, it’s destroying the laws of physics like confetti!”

“So what? Your time travel has already done that! And according to Klaus, God likes me, so I'm fairly certain she owes me a freebie with how much I’ve done for her!”

“Are you literally going to try and raise the dead?” Five lets out a laugh in sheer disbelief. “How? I mean, in case it’s slipped your grasp, we’re kinda in Vanya’s MIND!” His sudden shout causes Ben and Klaus to look over at the two of you. The last word echoes around the empty room, and you can faintly hear the sounds of crying. You’re full on glaring at Five now. “What’s your point?”

“Exactly how do you expect to save someone who’s dead when you aren’t even in a physical reality? I know you want to save him, save us all. But you need to understand the reality of the situation we are in. There is no way you can get out of this and save everyone in the process, it’s just...impossible.” 

“Nothing is impossible!” You miss the slight flinch from Five as he thinks back on the Handlers words. “I travelled between universes, I have powers I wasn’t ever supposed to have, I survived a suicide attempt! Saving one person from death should be nothing!” You pinch the bridge of your nose and turn around, facing the open door that leads downstairs. “We don’t have time for this. We need to get to Vanya.”

With that you pass everyone else and head downstairs, not seeing Ben give you a mournful look as he moves to follow you.

Five and Klaus look on at you, afraid to say anything and as they glance at each other a silent understanding comes between them. They’d protect you, even if it was from yourself.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You silently walk down the steps, the clapping of your shoes loudly echoing in the room and you eventually find Vanya curled up in a ball on the floor. She’s silently sobbing, the shaking of her shoulders a clear indicator. “Vanya.” You breathe and run over towards her, quickly dropping to your knees and sliding over. You hear the others follow shortly, but they choose to stand instead. 

Slowly, Vanya raises her head and sees the four of you in front of her. “Do you remember us?” You ask. “I remember everything. I did it again, didn’t I?”

“'Fraid so, Vanny.” Klaus whispers. Vanya’s face crumbles and she starts crying again. “God, what is wrong with me? I’m a monster.” 

“No, you’re not.” Five insists. He moves closer to put a hand on her shoulders. Vanya looks up at him with tear stained eyes. “I keep telling you, you’re our sister. You will always be our sister.”

“Why can’t I control myself like you guys?” You scoff and she turns to you, confused. “You call what we do control? Vanya, you’ve only had maybe a month to understand these powers. I got lucky and had almost 4 years to try and make sense of this. Everyone else? They’ve been at it for 30 years. If anyone's to blame for this, it’s your dad.” Ben nods beside you. 

“He isolated you from everyone, and treated you like a bomb before you ever were one. He was...so scared of your power he never let you use. Kept you drugged up. That’s messed up, Vanya.”

“No wonder you couldn’t control it.” Five muses. 

“Dad couldn’t handle your anger, but that doesn’t mean you can’t.” Ben continues on before looking at Klaus. He offers Vanya a sad, bittersweet smile. “It’s a shitty world, full of shitty people sometimes.”

“You aren’t alone at the table anymore, Vanya.” You offer. “But you need to let us help you.”

Vanya nods and sniffles, but when everyone stands up Ben is the only one to remain seated. You look down at him with furrowed brows, only to gape in shock as you see bits and pieces of him start disintegrating, like a Thanos snap. “Ben?” Vanya asks. “What’s happening to you?”

“I can’t go back with you guys.” Ben solemnly states. Beside you, Five and Klaus laugh in disbelief while you glare openly at the floor. “What are you talking about?” Klaus questions. “Of course you can.”

“Klaus, remember all those years ago when I told you about going into the light? And you told me I could go whenever I wanted?” Ben looks up at Klaus and you feel your insides churn with nausea. “It wasn’t you that made me stay. Truth is, I’ve been too scared to go into the light this whole time. All these extra years with you...it’s been gravy. At least this time I get to say goodbye properly.”

“Hang on, goodbye? I’ve only just seen you after 45 years, there’s no way in hell I’m losing you again!” Five looks at you incredulously. Your gaze is still firmly locked on the floor. “[Y/N] you can’t...is this what you meant earlier?” A tiny nod is your only response. “Fuck. Shit. FUCK!” Five begins to pace around the room. You slowly stand up and move to hug Ben.He wraps his arms around you and holds on tight. You can feel Klaus and Five and Vanya grab on as well.

“Please.” You plead. “God, if you’re listening, I’m begging you. Give me this one freebie. After all the shit I’ve gone through I have never asked for your help. But i’m told you like me so i’m hoping You can do me this one solid and I will never ask for anything ever again. Ben doesn’t deserve this. Give him another chance, please!.”

Whether God heard or not remains to be seen, but Ben looks down at you fondly, with a smile in his eyes, even as his form continues to disintegrate into atoms. “[Y/N], I just wanna say, You were the first non ghost to see me, and hug me. You helped me live again. Thank you.”

“Shut up. It was nothing.” you sniffle. Beside you Klaus sobs quietly, his arms tightening around you all. “Ben, you little shit-heel, you can’t leave me now, we’ve only just started.”

“I’m sorry.” Ben murmurs. “But at least you’ll have [Y/N]. And it was good to finally see you again Five, I just wish it was under better circumstances.”

“You and me both.” Five whispers and the last thing you hear is Ben’s “I love you all.” Before being yanked back into your body.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_ Meanwhile… _

Ben slowly comes to, laying on a tile floor. Looking up, Ben sees row upon row of books. “Where...am I?” he asks himself. Looking around, there’s a group of tables and chairs, and one end has a large, old fashioned fireplace, lit up with logs surrounding it. It has a homey air to it, with the smell of fresh coffee in the background.

“Normally people are quiet in libraries.” Ben whips his head to find a little girl sitting at one of the tables, a flowery dress, large sun hat perched atop her head. In her hands was a copy of “Uncle Vanya”, well worn, dog eared tips at the edges of the pages. The spine was bent and cracked, as if it had been read and reread multiple times. The little girl noticed and held up the book for him to see. “It’s yours, by the way. From your childhood. Thought you would have appreciated it.” Ben noticed the past tense use in the sentence. “Would have…?” He asked.

She lets out a harsh sigh and rolls her eyes. “I don’t do this. The last time this happened I had to deal with your brother.” Brother...wait, was she referring to Klaus? This couldn’t be…”I’m sorry, I hate to stop you in the middle of your big speech you probably had memorized, but are you...God?”

The little girl lets out an amused chuckle. “Were you expecting anyone else?” Her smile quickly dies out and she stares at Ben, a look that could rival Reginalds in her eyes. “Now listen. I don’t do this. Ever. The dead stay dead. That’s how I made it. But like I told your brother, and your father, I made you so I could pick and choose. But I can also unchoose If I so desire. And I owe a freebie. Apparently.” God rolls her eyes at this, muttering under her breath at how “That other god owes me big time after this mess. “So this is your only second chance. Ever. No Do-overs. No retakes. Nothing.”

“Wait...wait. Hold on.” Ben holds out his hands to stop her from continuing on. “Are-are you saying I can go back? I can be alive again?!” Holy shit this is insanity! Ben didn’t think this would ever happen! A large smile crosses his face and Ben starts pacing the room, thinking of the first things he would eat once he got a body again.

God sends a withering look over to him, but that doesn’t stop his pacing around and muttering. “There’s a cost, you know.” Ben stops still. “A cost?” he asks.

“I can’t just send you back for free. Even I don’t have that much power. Equivalent exchange. I can send you back… It just can’t be in this body.” Looking down at his hands, Ben wonders what she could possibly mean. God heaves a sigh through her nose and looks to the sky as if asking the angels for guidance.

“And here I thought you were Klaus’ brain. I’m talking about the body you died in. I can only bring you back in your 17 year old body. From there you will age like normal. Understand?”

Ben nods frantically. “Yeah, yeah I completely understand!” Anything to be alive again. To feel the sun on his face, the wind in his hair, the taste of a cold glass of water. So many things Ben took for granted growing up that he plans on savoring properly.

In the back of his mind, Ben swears he could hear a “My son didn’t have to deal with this shit when he was a kid. Why do I?” Come out from under her breath. But before he could ask anything else, the room started getting brighter. And the bookshelves and tabes started disappearing, until all that was left was her and him.

“Oh, and make sure that [Y/N] knows that this is the ONLY freebie I will ever give them. And only because of how much they’ve kept Klaus out of my hair.”

Before Ben could properly respond, the light blinded him, and everything turned on its head.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When you finally wake up, it’s with a heavy reluctance. Your eyelids feel heavy and there’s a large weight overtop of you. Pushing yourself up on your elbows you look down and see Klaus passed out on top of you. There’s a thin trail of blood coming from his ears and his nose, a result of Vanya’s powers you assume. Looking around you see everyone in a similar state. But you don’t see Vanya. Or...oh. That’s right, you forgot. 

Ben’s gone.

Sighing, you look down at Klaus and gently shake him awake. “Klaus, sweetie, c’mon. Gotta get up.” Your voice is somber and a couple tears leak out, only to be quickly scrubbed away. You could cry later, after stopping Diego from running across the grassy knoll.

Groaning, Klaus pushes himself up on his hands and looks down at you. “We aren’t dead, are we?” You slowly shake your head and look around as all the other Hargreeves siblings come to, helping each other get up and trying to understand what the hell just happened. Five himself looked crushed, and you nudge Klaus and nod over at him. Getting the picture, he pushes himself into a standing position and grabs your hand, hauling you up. Together the two of you make your way over to Five and the look he sends you is nothing short of heartbreaking.

“He’s really gone.” Five murmurs. You slowly nod your head and look down. Sitting down beside him, with Klaus on your other side, you lean your head down on Fives shoulder. “I’m sorry.” you whisper.

Five shakes his head. “No, I knew it happened. I spent 45 years mourning your deaths, but that was the first time since I was 13 that I saw him again.” Five shakes his head and lets out an unamused chuckle. “It’s funny. I spent all that time thinking of what I would do to save him, but when it actually mattered, I choked. Like a goddamn schoolboy.”

“You didn’t choke, though. You were thinking about everyone’s safety, not just Bens. If anyone should be ashamed, it should be me.” You stare down at your hands, shame and regret coating your face. You feel Klaus squeeze your shoulder in comfort. “I got so caught up in my own head, thinking I could just “Fix things” because I knew about this universe. And I can’t. Having the knowledge doesn’t mean shit if you don’t know how to properly utilize it.”

Before he has a chance to answer, Allison, Diego and Luther walk up to you, looks of confusion on their faces. “Hey, where’s Vanya?” Allison asks. The three of you look at each other. You had no idea how you all completely forgot about her Again.

“Uhhh…-” Vanya’s “Guys? I think you should see this!” saves you from having to answer and the 6 of you gather by the doors. You’re the last to leave, and the sight that greets you has your jaw dropping in shock, and the breath leaving your lungs.

Sitting on the desk, looking just as he did when he was 17, was Ben hargreeves. He sends you all a bright eyed smile and kicks the air with his legs.

“Hey guys. Did you miss me?”


End file.
